Cold Approach Therapy

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Mannyb

Yeah, maybe that's just a story, but it hurts like motherfucker

[mmKay]

Is it trauma release or https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperventilation_syndrome

Only you can potentially differ

[IronFoot]

@Leo Gura I completely agree. My previous post must have failed to communicate this. That’s why I was saying that if you get your life together/ do interesting things you will have more options.  I think the problem with pickup generally is that it seems to be more focused on seduction and not on becoming the best/ most adventurous version of yourself possible.

 

Just chasing sex would be a low conscious approach.

Edited December 20, 2023 by IronFoot

[28 cm unbuffed]

@mmKay

I read it and checked it out on YouTube, I don't think that's the same.

I do the Wim Hof breathing technique every day in the morning, but it's not like I get this attack or something right after that or even shortly after that.

I don't lose my breath. It happens spontaneously throughout the day, it's like an emotional release, and it's with 99.99% probability because of a trauma, because that's the exact place where I first experienced it (the traumatic experience itself).

[Thought Art]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@IronFoot You are looking at this the wrong way.

Learning game is not about chasing for sex. It's about growing yourself into a powerful man and an adventure.

The main benefit is not the sex you have but how strong you become.

Noted

[IronFoot]

@Emotionalmosquito Disregard that statement as that was a really stupid way for me to try and phrase it. I was too tired when I wrote that lol.

By default, men generally have less high quality options because the high quality women aren’t attracted to them. If they worked on raising their own value, they would likely have more high quality women that are attracted to them.

 

[Israfil]

8 minutes ago, IronFoot said:

By default, men generally have less high quality options because the high quality women aren’t attracted to them. If they worked on raising their own value, they would likely have more high quality women that are attracted to them.

 

The more integrated and conscious you become, the better your relationships. That's my personal experience. I've dated increasingly better people and made increasingly better friends as my mind expanded. The experiences I searched for and the questioning I did were fundamental to it.

I am not even close to reaching my greatest potential and I am being blessed by a very positive social life currently. It is a matter of personal development.  

[Spiritual Warrior]

5 hours ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@mmKay

@Leo Gura

Swagger is what you mean? Confidence? Assertiveness? Politeness and honesty?

I can get that and I got these from other things like martial arts, gym...

It's about being fun loving, having a sense of humor and being goofy. This is what gets you laid. You clearly have not developed these traits yet.

And counter intuitively, you will become a happier person once you embody this. Its mentally exhausting having to take life so seriously all of the time.

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Israfil

But where do the women come from lol

I moved to a new city, and I have a couple of friends from work, but 0 close ones, how do you guys want me to build social connections?

I tried a couple of meetups and stuff like that, but it's bullshit in a long term.

I have no idea where to look, other than cold-approach / dating apps (which do not work).

I don't like the cold approach/night clubs idea that much tbh, but I have no other place to go really to find a girl 🤷

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Spiritual Warrior

I did, that's who I am at my core, and that's something natural for me.

But it's not like people notice that while walking past by you on a street or from a short, initial conversation.

Other than that, I remember you from another post of mine. You're the clueless nice guy that likes to act like a smart ass, aren't you?

Edited December 20, 2023 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Spiritual Warrior]

2 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Spiritual Warrior

 You're the clueless nice guy that likes to act like a smart ass, aren't you?

Jeez..  you are very rude. You should think about how you converse with people. I'm not going to interact with you anymore. 

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Spiritual Warrior

I'm being real, other than that - I don't like you, you have no idea what you're talking about, go away

[BlessedLion]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

It's hard to explain that to someone who hasn't seriously tried it.

This is 100% true. It also brings you closer to Love

 

Personally. As I’ve gotten more conscious I’m less successful at pick up. I can meet women at Tantra events and crush it but when I’m “out” with more city girls, I can’t authentically do the “seduction” thing. I just end up talking to them about God and Love. They like it, but can feel it not really trying to have sex and usually walk away. And I don’t really mind anymore. I’m enjoying spreading love. It’s interesting. 

[BlessedLion]

9 hours ago, IronFoot said:

@28 cm unbuffed they don’t need to invest time into game because it does nothing to benefit them. Women don’t have a problem finding sexual partners or relationships (generally I think), but they do seem to have a problem  finding high quality sexual partners or relationships.

 

men seem to have the opposite problem. Less options available that are attracted to them but easier time finding high quality partners.  Also worth noting that this might just be because most men have very low standards ( like it’s almost pitiful) while women have much higher expectations.  I once knew someone who said “ A warm body is a warm body.” I think that mentality is the probably the major problem a lot of guys are falling into whether they admit it to themselves or not.

 

also, looking at game as some job that is separate from the rest of your life probably won’t bring good results. At the end of the day, most men would have more options if they went to the gym, wore nice ish clothes, and had a few interesting hobbies. if your life is interesting you will will have interesting things to talk about and someone will be interested.  If you can hold a conversation and be playful about it, someone will be interested. Of course this can be over complicated or simplified as much as you want, but that’s the premise. The more you can integrate it into your life the better (to the point it’s not a separate thing you do).

 

also, if girls are not worthwhile to you, it might be worth devoting your time elsewhere and not worrying about it.

 

 

Women definitely invest into attraction and dating WAY more than men 😂

 

 

Its just not “pickup” it’s much more subtle and less obvious. I’d say 70-80 % of their energy goes to thinking about this. 
 

[Israfil]

29 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Israfil

But where do the women come from lol

I moved to a new city, and I have a couple of friends from work, but 0 close ones, how do you guys want me to build social connections?

I tried a couple of meetups and stuff like that, but it's bullshit in a long term.

I have no idea where to look, other than cold-approach / dating apps (which do not work).

I don't like the cold approach/night clubs idea that much tbh, but I have no other place to go really to find a girl 🤷

I am a musician and a Designer. I'm dating a very high-quality woman from my office job, and met several girls playing live or on rehearsal after parties. I also talk to girls who have similar interests as me on the internet. Eventually, those interests make you closer to them and we flirt and play with each other between hobby or life talk.

I go to bars that play the music I enjoy and talk to people about it. I travel and exchange stories about my place and the locals. I live in Rio de Janeiro, which is a touristic city, so I meet a lot of foreigners from all over the world, who I can talk to because I developed my English.

See? It's a matter of becoming interesting. To have meaningful topics of conversation and be open to others' perspectives. You have to have something to say, but have to actively listen and engage in what people have to say too. This approach increases the odds of meeting and keeping high-quality people in your life.

From very early in my life I wanted to become a polymath, so I guess I directed myself towards this direction. In this trajectory, I found the impossibility of developing my skills if I didn't balance my intuitive and logical side. By intuitive I mean, my feelings, my thoughts, and later, my spiritual side. This narrow view of "How can I do cold approach?" or "How to do cold approach?" misses the underlying problem in both perspectives about other people (PUAs and other red pill adherents, for the most part, dehumanize/objectify people in general, but more emphatically women) and perspective about your problems. 

You do not know yourself, you are not in a position to know someone else.

[BlessedLion]

@Israfil Great points! 
 

Are you from Rio? I lived there for a bit and found it so easy to meet locals and tourists. Had too many girlfriends! 
 

I really love Brazil 

[Israfil]

5 minutes ago, BlessedLion said:

Are you from Rio? I lived there for a bit and found it so easy to meet locals and tourists. Had too many girlfriends! 

A dream city for meeting new people. Cariocas are very open to one another. 

6 minutes ago, BlessedLion said:

I really love Brazil 

From the little I've seen people talking about other countries, I genuinely believe it can be one of the best places to live if you set up your life correctly. 

If you ever comeback, let's meet up and share experiences. It'd be a pleasure to show you some cool places.

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Israfil

yeah that's exactly the conclusion that I'm coming up with too, cold approaching is robotic, numbers game, that's like a brute force approach, not an organic process

also, it doesn't make the social aspect of your life to magically disappear, even if you find a gf for yourself by being lucky. you will have a gf, but still no social life, and you will probably lose a gf 

am I right with these conclusions?

[Israfil]

8 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Israfil

yeah that's exactly the conclusion that I'm coming up with too, cold approaching is robotic, numbers game, that's like a brute force approach, not an organic process

also, it doesn't make the social aspect of your life to magically disappear, even if you find a gf for yourself by being lucky. you will have a gf, but still no social life, and you will probably lose a gf 

am I right with these conclusions?

Sure, you are. But that's many steps ahead of finding purpose and working towards it. I would say that should be your main focus. You'll see how many friends and potential partners you attract when you're focused on developing the basics of your life. Working on my career and my hobbies gave me way more friends than school or university. These people are also more aligned with my vision and strengthened my connections in general. 

Do some cool shit, man. That's it.  After that, you go out and find people that do the same shit. After that, you go out and find people that do different shit. That's what I did. You eventually talk to people who want to talk to you, and if they're interested enough, then you get to the attraction part. It seems simplistic, but it was the thing that increased my results the most.

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Israfil

Yeah, I'm doing that. With my career, with my university, and also with my YouTube channel. Plus exercise, plus martial arts, plus yoga (I'm also a polymath lol). I'm not that fast to open myself tho, so it might take some time (I'm a highly sensitive person / HSP) ;P

I'm just kind of mad because nice-looking girls are looking at me here and there and I have no balls to do a straight approach. But I think that's just not my nature, I'm too sensitive to just go in, hard as motherfucker.