This idea that "dumb" girls are easier to get...

[Emotionalmosquito]

 

9 hours ago, Israfil said:

while many people don't seem to have any problems with women at all.

There are still many others yes. But that “many” is smaller than its ever been in history and the numbers are still dropping rapidly. Notice the birth rates in most developed countries. The problem is way way way too big for it to purely be blamed on men not acting right. Some yes, but not all. A large chunk of it is millions of disenfranchised men like me fed the fuck up with all the bullshit and dropping out of the game because of it. But I’d still like to keep trying for a while before giving up for good. Go find some YouTube videos of “how to do xyz with a girl” and the top comments will usually be something like “Step 1: Find a girl”

15 hours ago, Consept said:

Let me give you an example, if you think of kids say around 5 years old, they very often will just go up to each other and just ask 'do you want to play?'. Their intention is solely having fun and they know that it can be a lot more fun playing with someone else.

That’s very true but it doesn’t really apply to the pursuit of sex or temporary relationship. The sexual equivalent of that would be me going up to a girl and asking “Do you want to have sex with me.” Because likewise, my intention is having sex and it’s well known that sexual intercourse with another human can be a lot more fun than masturbation. But you clearly can’t be that straight forward about it and expect good results. Instead you have to jump through all kinds of retarded little hoops and obstacles that take years and thousands of approaches to master in order to consistently woo women to that point. There lies the problem.

15 hours ago, Consept said:

Now imagine there was a kid who was constantly worried about what to say to the other kids so that they would like him, he might try saying weird stuff or try and be funny or be overly serious or anything that wasn't actually authentic to him. The other kids can feel this on some kind of level and don't want to play with him. It's not cos this kid is bad it's just they can feel the inauthenticity, it's like he's trying to hide something, even if they don't know what it is and his uncomfortableness, energetically passes onto them making them feel uncomfortable. If the kid was honest and said I'm nervous but I want to play for example the other kids would feel that congruity and would be sympathetic. 

I think a big part of the problem this has with men and women dating wise is:

Since women nowadays are being taught to regard every man that talks to them as a potential rapist or murderer, and men are being heavily heavily shamed and scorned for coming off at all creepy whatsoever whether intentionally or not, that puts us on eggshells to say the least when we try to approach a girl. That anxious, on edge feeling stemming from dreading accidentally looking creepy exudes out into the girl you’re trying to get with, entirely sabotaging the mission.

The very energy you’re trying to avoid as to not give her a bad feeling about you, gives her that bad feeling about you. It’s like a self fulfilling prophecy perpetuated by both parties; guys because if they could some how stop worrying so much, they wouldn’t have that weird energy, and girls because if they’d stop inaccurately judging nervous guys as actual creeps and actual creeps as attractive gentlemen, then men wouldn’t have as much to worry about because they’d know the women could see they’re truly harmless despite the uncomfortable energy. 

[Consept]

You're fearful of approaching and truly being yourself with people, everything else you said is a result of trying to justify that fear. This isn't a knock against you it's scary to approach people and depending on whatever trauma happened it can be even worse, but don't let your mind fool you into thinking its anything more than that. Once you accept its just an uncomfortable feeling you can then begin challenging that feeling. Forget all your bullshit narratives they are holding you back. 

Look at this video below and check out the channel, guys who feel fear approaching, without the beliefs you ascribe to women. 

 

[Israfil]

On 22/12/2023 at 9:39 PM, Emotionalmosquito said:

Do you guys not realize or ignore the fact that women commit very similar offenses and worse with impunity because of their gender? If a woman whispered something in a guy’s ear at the club, would he be taken seriously if he called the bouncer over to deal with her in a similar fashion? Would she be thrown out or would the guy be laughed at? I seriously want an answer here. The same role reversal applies for most other so called violations. If a woman is sexually obsessed with a man in a club and won’t leave him alone, does he have the luxury of having the staff kick her out the same way she would in that position?

 

Yes, she would. I was personally being harassed in a party and the drunk girl got kicked out. You cannot invade other people's personal space.

On 22/12/2023 at 9:39 PM, Emotionalmosquito said:

If nothing else just tell me why you say that as if I’m using that statement to downplay the actual severity of my actions as minor grievances. Even grievance is too strong of a word for what’s getting me in trouble. If a girl tells me she’s married and I respond with “A ring don’t cover a hole, girl!” That’s a good, fun-spirited comeback yet it’s exactly the type of thing that normies despise deep down even if they laugh it off in the moment. Girls crack jokes like that and worse all the time. Nobody cares, at least not enough to get them told to leave. WHY?

 

This joke would, with reason, repel any woman with above room temperature IQ. You should not speak sexual stuff to people that you haven't even touched yet. If you didn't know she was married, you probably didn't have the necessary intimacy to say something like that to her. In the wrong context, this could even be seen as predatorial. You need more social awareness.

[Israfil]

On 22/12/2023 at 10:29 PM, Emotionalmosquito said:

There are still many others yes. But that “many” is smaller than its ever been in history and the numbers are still dropping rapidly. Notice the birth rates in most developed countries. The problem is way way way too big for it to purely be blamed on men not acting right. Some yes, but not all. A large chunk of it is millions of disenfranchised men like me fed the fuck up with all the bullshit and dropping out of the game because of it. But I’d still like to keep trying for a while before giving up for good. Go find some YouTube videos of “how to do xyz with a girl” and the top comments will usually be something like “Step 1: Find a girl”

On 22/12/2023 at 6:47 AM, Consept said:

This has nothing to do with women or men. Socialization, the stagnation of wages, city design, and political incentives to alienate people are the main reasons people choose not to have babies.

If you move away from the incel forums, and look around in the world, you'll see completely average people with girlfriends and families. What stops you from having the same things is that you think having sex will solve your traumas, and it won't. You have to take care of your mental health first, and talk to other people later.

 

On 22/12/2023 at 10:29 PM, Emotionalmosquito said:

Since women nowadays are being taught to regard every man that talks to them as a potential rapist or murderer, and men are being heavily heavily shamed and scorned for coming off at all creepy whatsoever whether intentionally or not, that puts us on eggshells to say the least when we try to approach a girl. That anxious, on edge feeling stemming from dreading accidentally looking creepy exudes out into the girl you’re trying to get with, entirely sabotaging the mission.

The very energy you’re trying to avoid as to not give her a bad feeling about you, gives her that bad feeling about you. It’s like a self fulfilling prophecy perpetuated by both parties; guys because if they could some how stop worrying so much, they wouldn’t have that weird energy, and girls because if they’d stop inaccurately judging nervous guys as actual creeps and actual creeps as attractive gentlemen, then men wouldn’t have as much to worry about because they’d know the women could see they’re truly harmless despite the uncomfortable energy. 

You know what the best way of not worrying about that? Just don't be a rapist, be sure of it, and you won't look like one. You are overthinking this. You can never think about 100% of the things that could go wrong. This exercise is futile. Being in the moment and talking sincerely and openly with other is way better than trying to micromanage every single step you take.

[Princess Arabia]

On 12/22/2023 at 7:39 PM, Emotionalmosquito said:

If a girl tells me she’s married and I respond with “A ring don’t cover a hole, girl!” That’s a good, fun-spirited comeback yet it’s exactly the type of thing that normies despise deep down even if they laugh it off in the moment. Girls crack jokes like that and worse all the time. Nobody cares, at least not enough to get them told to leave. WHY?

What's so good and fun-spirited about disrespect. "A ring don't cover a hole?" Is that what you say to somebody who says they're married. You even call it a comeback. Why do you need a comeback for when somebody says they're married. At least make it a respectable comeback like, lucky guy, or ok then, ill leave you alone or something of that nature.

Then you say girls crack jokes like that and worse all the time as if to justify your tasteless joke. Easy to say that when there's no proof, to blame others for your disgusting, tasteless, disrespect. Even if girls say stuff like that, why would you want to be like them. Why compare yourself to those types of girls. Do you murder people because other people do it too.

 

[Israfil]

20 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

What's so good and fun-spirited about disrespect. "A ring don't cover a hole?" Is that what you say to somebody who says they're married. You even call it a comeback. Why do you need a comeback for when somebody says they're married. At least make it a respectable comeback like, lucky guy, or ok then, ill leave you alone or something of that nature.

Then you say girls crack jokes like that and worse all the time as if to justify your tasteless joke. Easy to say that when there's no proof, to blame others for your disgusting, tasteless, disrespect. Even if girls say stuff like that, why would you want to be like them. Why compare yourself to those types of girls. Do you murder people because other people do it too.

 

I give up on this guy. He says he has a problem, people give him advice and instead of applying it, he just comes back with his own doomer reason of why it wouldn't work.

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 12/26/2023 at 6:43 AM, Israfil said:

Yes, she would. I was personally being harassed in a party and the drunk girl got kicked out. You cannot invade other people's personal space.

On 12/22/2023 at 6:39 PM, Emotionalmosquito said:

You mean like a house party? That would be different than an open public venue because at least at a party there’s a chance of the hosts considering both sides of the issue without bias. In a club, the women are the cash cows, the reason all the men are there and why so many drinks get sold. So they’ll do anything they can before kicking them out. If it was a public space you’re talking about then I’m glad to hear that. Even still, she was probably acting like a total unhinged freak to get herself the boot, much worse than whispering in someone’s ear or saying something uncalibrated. Right? 

On 12/26/2023 at 6:54 AM, Israfil said:

If you move away from the incel forums, and look around in the world, you'll see completely average people with girlfriends and families. What stops you from having the same things is that you think having sex will solve your traumas, and it won't. You have to take care of your mental health first, and talk to other people later.

Do average people with girlfriends and families never have mental health problems? I know it won’t solve any traumas, but neither will an exercise routine or a healthy diet. It may not solve anything fundamentally but it sure will help massively.

On 12/26/2023 at 6:54 AM, Israfil said:

You know what the best way of not worrying about that? Just don't be a rapist, be sure of it, and you won't look like one.

I am sure of it. I would never under any circumstance. Being locked in a cell for ten years doesn’t sound very good. (Btw, even not being a rapist isn’t enough to fully protect you from life ruining  accusations anymore) When someone craves sex as much as I do, even if they know they are aren’t a rapist, isn’t needing and wanting it so bad enough to make you come off like one? Let’s also not forget that lacking social skills alone is all it takes to make you appear as a potential threat in a woman’s brain.

22 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

What's so good and fun-spirited about disrespect.

Because what’s so disrespectful about that? Isn’t there something we learn in this community about how social norms and things that make people offended are very subjective and vary radically between cultures? Some women actually appreciate that sort of humor. Doesn’t mean I should be punished for the crime of saying it to the wrong person. 

22 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

At least make it a respectable comeback like, lucky guy, or ok then, ill leave you alone or something of that nature.

Because those are what everybody says. Saying something like that is different and unique and “unfiltered”. Notice people saying having no filter is a good thing. It makes you stand out, and in a good way for some. I’d rather say call her a lucky girl tbh, to switch things around for a change.

22 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Then you say girls crack jokes like that and worse all the time as if to justify your tasteless joke. Easy to say that when there's no proof, to blame others for your disgusting, tasteless, disrespect. Even if girls say stuff like that, why would you want to be like them. Why compare yourself to those types of girls. Do you murder people because other people do it too.

Because they’re authentically expressing themselves with no filter, something people here say to do. I would love it if we could all stop freaking out so goddamn much about what others think and about people saying things that shatter our teeny tiny bubble of what is and isn’t appropriate. It’s called the golden rule: Treat others the way you’d like to be treated. But that goes both ways.

If you think that harmless statement that in all likelihood could be found in a pg-13 movie is disgusting and tasteless, boy do I have news. There are jokes that are actually disgusting. I have some if they won’t get me warning points. Have you seen the how to get laid series? Leo says even wackier things than me and gets away with it. Go call him disgusting.

Either people stop being gigantic fucking pussy ass little bitches about everything, or I’ll have to develop a much better filter and restrict the fullness of my personality to this bland, stale, cookie cutter version of reality and men and women that it sounds like you want. 

The murder comparison is wild. Now that we’re making crazy comparisons, you know how infuriating and disrespectful it is to women when people blame them being sexually harassed or assaulted on their choice of clothing? Same feeling for us when we get kicked out of somewhere for our choice of humor or conversational topic. 

Wanting to be a murderer just because they exist isn’t the same as wanting to be a filterless person because they exist 

One kills people, the other makes insecure people feel temporarily uneasy 

 

[Princess Arabia]

10 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

You mean like a house party? That would be different than an open public venue because at least at a party there’s a chance of the hosts considering both sides of the issue without bias. In a club, the women are the cash cows, the reason all the men are there and why so many drinks get sold. So they’ll do anything they can before kicking them out. If it was a public space you’re talking about then I’m glad to hear that. Even still, she was probably acting like a total unhinged freak to get herself the boot, much worse than whispering in someone’s ear or saying something uncalibrated. Right? 

Do average people with girlfriends and families never have mental health problems? I know it won’t solve any traumas, but neither will an exercise routine or a healthy diet. It may not solve anything fundamentally but it sure will help massively.

I am sure of it. I would never under any circumstance. Being locked in a cell for ten years doesn’t sound very good. (Btw, even not being a rapist isn’t enough to fully protect you from life ruining  accusations anymore) When someone craves sex as much as I do, even if they know they are aren’t a rapist, isn’t needing and wanting it so bad enough to make you come off like one? Let’s also not forget that lacking social skills alone is all it takes to make you appear as a potential threat in a woman’s brain.

Because what’s so disrespectful about that? Isn’t there something we learn in this community about how social norms and things that make people offended are very subjective and vary radically between cultures? Some women actually appreciate that sort of humor. Doesn’t mean I should be punished for the crime of saying it to the wrong person. 

Because those are what everybody says. Saying something like that is different and unique and “unfiltered”. Notice people saying having no filter is a good thing. It makes you stand out, and in a good way for some. I’d rather say call her a lucky girl tbh, to switch things around for a change.

Because they’re authentically expressing themselves with no filter, something people here say to do. I would love it if we could all stop freaking out so goddamn much about what others think and about people saying things that shatter our teeny tiny bubble of what is and isn’t appropriate. It’s called the golden rule: Treat others the way you’d like to be treated. But that goes both ways.

If you think that harmless statement that in all likelihood could be found in a pg-13 movie is disgusting and tasteless, boy do I have news. There are jokes that are actually disgusting. I have some if they won’t get me warning points. Have you seen the how to get laid series? Leo says even wackier things than me and gets away with it. Go call him disgusting.

Either people stop being gigantic fucking pussy ass little bitches about everything, or I’ll have to develop a much better filter and restrict the fullness of my personality to this bland, stale, cookie cutter version of reality and men and women that it sounds like you want. 

The murder comparison is wild. Now that we’re making crazy comparisons, you know how infuriating and disrespectful it is to women when people blame them being sexually harassed or assaulted on their choice of clothing? Same feeling for us when we get kicked out of somewhere for our choice of humor or conversational topic. 

Wanting to be a murderer just because they exist isn’t the same as wanting to be a filterless person because they exist 

One kills people, the other makes insecure people feel temporarily uneasy 

 

I'm through with responding to you. Won't keep up this charade any longer. Wish you luck.

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 12/26/2023 at 6:54 AM, Israfil said:

Being in the moment and talking sincerely and openly with other is way better than trying to micromanage every single step you take.

If I have something I want to reply or say to someone, and I really really want to, but I decide I better not because there’s a strong probability it will be perceived as tasteless and disgusting and get me blown out or kicked out, how is that not the exact opposite of talking openly and sincerely? If you have all these things you wanna say but can’t because normies will hate your guts for it, there is no openness in that. 

2 hours ago, Israfil said:

people give him advice and instead of applying it, he just comes back with his own doomer reason of why it wouldn't work.

The advice at its core always comes down to “be yourself”. That clearly isn’t working so here I am.

This is the problem in a nutshell:

1. Feel insatiably horny so go out and try to get laid 
2. get blown out and chased into hiding because I didn’t know what I was doing 
3. come here or other self improvement community. Get told it’s all my fault and I should be myself and talk openly and chill next time instead of trying to do everything perfectly 
4. Go out and do exactly that, once again, goes poorly
5. come back and get told I wasn’t calibrated enough which made me look extremely weird to others justifying them being so unforgiving towards me 
6. So I use more calibration the next time around. All it does is put me in my head worried about accidentally saying something uncalibrated, but at least it doesn’t get me kicked out 
7. come back complaining about no girls being interested 
8. get told I need to be more filterless and speak openly with people because being in my head makes me unfun to talk to 
9. and we’re right back where we started 

Are you starting to see why I’m so tripped up over this? Calibration vs free expression is either a great balancing act or an outright contradiction. All I know is I’m very good at one at the cost of the other.

 

[Wisebaxter]

On 17/12/2023 at 1:56 PM, Princess Arabia said:

Who are the hardest guys to get. Where do they hang out. Where are all the smart guys who are hard to get. Where are all the guys who guard their dicks, keep it under lock and key and women have to search for them and try to manipulate them into getting sex. I guess they hang out in gay bars. But then again, they're banging each other too so I'm still waiting.......

@Princess ArabiaThe hardest guys to get probably aren't hanging around in bars. They're probably too busy working on their careers, fulfilling their life purpose. You'd need to have a shared interest with them as they'd probably be attracted by your drive and your passion as opposed to how easy you are to 'bang.' Their dicks are locked away simply because they're not being driven by them. Just another bullshit idea though, probably 

Edited December 27, 2023 by Wisebaxter

[Emotionalmosquito]

40 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I'm through with responding to you. Won't keep up this charade any longer. Wish you luck.

Giving up right when we start getting somewhere? I’m shocked 😂

It’s crazy how some of you guys think I’m just trying to fight or play a charade instead of get to the bottom of an issue through discussion, as the forum is meant for. 

Do you really expect me to not have questions and comments about the advice I’m being given? I only sound like I’m fighting because I’ve tried lots of these things without much success. The “charade” is me trying to find out why the advice I’m given doesn’t work and what I can do differently. 

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Wisebaxter said:

@Princess ArabiaThe hardest guys to get probably aren't hanging around in bars. They're probably too busy working on their careers, fulfilling their life purpose. You'd need to have a shared interest with them as they'd probably be attracted by your drive and your passion as opposed to how easy you are to 'bang.' Their dicks are locked away simply because they're not being driven by them. Just another bullshit idea though, probably 

I was being sarcastic because emphasis is always placed on how easy some women are, and dumb and whatever else demeaning terms we use to describe women. My sarcasm was based on the fact that men aren't too hard to get either and they are always ready to have sex and some with whomever is willing to give it up. 

 

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Giving up right when we start getting somewhere? I’m shocked 😂

It’s crazy how some of you guys think I’m just trying to fight or play a charade instead of get to the bottom of an issue through discussion, as the forum is meant for. 

Do you really expect me to not have questions and comments about the advice I’m being given? I only sound like I’m fighting because I’ve tried lots of these things without much success. The “charade” is me trying to find out why the advice I’m given doesn’t work and what I can do differently. 

Getting somewhere? This is starting to become a chore with you and it's obvious you're not looking for guidance. You're just looking to talk about this stuff and share nonsensical videos like the one you shared with the chicks dancing and the red pill mgtow narrator complaining about a girl that grabbed his ass while expressing how he enjoyed it.

[Emotionalmosquito]

@Princess Arabia I’m honored to be your 4000th post  

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

Getting somewhere?

Yes getting somewhere because I discovered you, like too many others, think it’s unacceptable for people to say wacky things to each other in the beginning stages of an interaction. That makes it pretty hard to be filterless or to treat others the way you want to be treated. I would love it if girls said dirty stuff to me more often and I knew I could shoot it right back at them.

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

it's obvious you're not looking for guidance

I’d love nothing more in the world than to be given a 100% fool proof strategy to get all the lays I want. I would seriously shoot a hollow point bullet through my foot right now in exchange for being flawless at women. I want it infinitely more than I can convey.

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

You're just looking to talk about this stuff and share nonsensical videos

Not “just”, but you’re right about me wanting to talk about it. It helps me get it off my chest and blow off steam. The main purpose of my being here is to get a fool proof strategy that works. Not this “be yourself” malarkey that’s getting me blown out majority of the time. 

The videos are to show how deep the problem truly is and why it’s so hard and unfair. Thx for watching that one btw, I figured you probably wouldn’t lol. Point of that was to show how much more easily girls get away with groping men than vice versa. 

The whole video can be summarized in that line where he said:

 “Am I wrong for calling this female out on something that if I would’ve done to her I could have been thrown in jail, possibly beaten up, possibly lost everything I’ve worked for in one night from a sexual harassment charge from a  woman who would face no consequences violating me in the same way.”

And thats talking physical violation of boundaries. So imagine how easy it is for them get away with cracking dirty jokes.

To be fair @Israfil did say a girl got thrown out for bothering him too much. If that’s common then I suppose things are more balanced than I thought. Still, it generally gets taken far more seriously when men sexually harass women.

Which brings me to my question for him: 

On 12/26/2023 at 6:43 AM, Israfil said:

Yes, she would. I was personally being harassed in a party and the drunk girl got kicked out. You cannot invade other people's personal space.

What about how @something_else got kicked out by bouncers for whispering in  her hear? Is getting close in order to say something in someone’s ear grounds to remove a girl if she does it to a guy?

 

[Thought Art]

It's not that dumb girls are easier to get, but acting dumb makes girl easier to get.

[Israfil]

3 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

You mean like a house party? That would be different than an open public venue because at least at a party there’s a chance of the hosts considering both sides of the issue without bias. In a club, the women are the cash cows, the reason all the men are there and why so many drinks get sold. So they’ll do anything they can before kicking them out. If it was a public space you’re talking about then I’m glad to hear that. Even still, she was probably acting like a total unhinged freak to get herself the boot, much worse than whispering in someone’s ear or saying something uncalibrated. Right? 

On 26/12/2023 at 9:54 AM, Israfil said:

She groped me in a club. I started arguing with her. Her friend group apologized and said she was drunk. A bouncer came up, I explained what happened and he told the friend group they had to take her out. They sent her home in a Uber and even had a drink with me afterward. Life is not a conspiracy, man. You are not omnipotent for having a xx chromosome.

16 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Not “just”, but you’re right about me wanting to talk about it. It helps me get it off my chest and blow off steam. The main purpose of my being here is to get a fool proof strategy that works. Not this “be yourself” malarkey that’s getting me blown out majority of the time. 

 

There is no such strategy. Some people will never be attracted to you or me, and that's okay. People are not functions. You cannot say "I'll input x and have the y output". This is a very materialistic approach to something that's inherently subjective. Your framing in this is wrong, man. 

[Princess Arabia]

21 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

The videos are to show how deep the problem truly is and why it’s so hard and unfair. Thx for watching that one btw, I figured you probably wouldn’t lol. Point of that was to show how much more easily girls get away with groping men than vice versa.

I don't just watch stuff I agree with just to prove my existing beliefs or to reiterate my existing one. I like to see the other side too, this way I'm not just coming up with totally biased arguments.  I will sit there and watch a Republicans channel all day even if I'm liberal just to see how the other side thinks and operates (analogy of course as I don't engage much in politics). 

I'm aware of my biases and false thinking about certain topics, so if I'm going to speak about it, I like to hear the other side of what I'm opposed to see if there's something I'm missing. 

You forgot to mention the part where he said to be honest i kinda liked what she did (non-verbatim).  Those men are just fighting against something not for what they stand for, They are not genuine in their stances and will lead men like you astray who haven't been hurt like they have been. You're just frustrated. 

Edited December 28, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[SeaMonster]

6 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

The advice at its core always comes down to “be yourself”. That clearly isn’t working so here I am.

This is the problem in a nutshell:

1. Feel insatiably horny so go out and try to get laid 
2. get blown out and chased into hiding because I didn’t know what I was doing 
3. come here or other self improvement community. Get told it’s all my fault and I should be myself and talk openly and chill next time instead of trying to do everything perfectly 
4. Go out and do exactly that, once again, goes poorly
5. come back and get told I wasn’t calibrated enough which made me look extremely weird to others justifying them being so unforgiving towards me 
6. So I use more calibration the next time around. All it does is put me in my head worried about accidentally saying something uncalibrated, but at least it doesn’t get me kicked out 
7. come back complaining about no girls being interested 
8. get told I need to be more filterless and speak openly with people because being in my head makes me unfun to talk to 
9. and we’re right back where we started 

Are you starting to see why I’m so tripped up over this? Calibration vs free expression is either a great balancing act or an outright contradiction. All I know is I’m very good at one at the cost of the other.

I think you are operating with a false dilemma in mind.  You're not stating it, but it's there implicitly.

Here's how to look at it:

1) If I act like "myself" right now, it doesn't work

2) If I act fake, it doesn't work. (that's basically what calibration means to you.)

The problem is that those are not the only 2 options.  There is a third option: change yourself outside of the context of pickup so that you no longer operate from a dilemma standpoint.

In other words, transform your life in other areas first, then see how it automatically transforms how you deal with women.

Edited December 27, 2023 by SeaMonster

[Israfil]

14 hours ago, SeaMonster said:

The problem is that those are not the only 2 options.  There is a third option: change yourself outside of the context of pickup so that you no longer operate from a dilemma standpoint.

In other words, transform your life in other areas first, then see how it automatically transforms how you deal with women.

I've said this to him in the last two weeks and he just makes excuses on why this wouldn't work or how he wants something that doesn't take too much time. The doomer mentality is very stubborn.

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 12/27/2023 at 1:00 PM, Thought Art said:

It's not that dumb girls are easier to get, but acting dumb makes girl easier to get.

I’d say slapping yourself in the nuts while doing the gangnam style dance is a pretty dumb way to act. So I’ll go do that little performance for the next cutie I see (not kidding, I really will🤣) and let you know if it gets me any action.

On 12/27/2023 at 4:16 PM, SeaMonster said:

If I act fake, it doesn't work. (that's basically what calibration means to you.)

Acting fake as in, my attempt at socializing with these people will fail miserably unless I only talk about and only behave in ways they find acceptable, which varies from person to person, which makes calibration tricky to master. Therefore I often can’t get away with being the person I wanna be.

On 12/27/2023 at 4:16 PM, SeaMonster said:

change yourself

Thank you. That’s what I’ve been waiting to hear. Finally someone admits I need to CHANGE myself because BEING my current self is clearly not working at all.

Thats why I keep saying “be yourself” is a horrible thing to tell some people. If the self you are is unattractive then good luck finding much success with the ladies.

On 12/27/2023 at 4:16 PM, SeaMonster said:

In other words, transform your life in other areas first, then see how it automatically transforms how you deal with women.

 

14 hours ago, Israfil said:

I've said this to him in the last two weeks and he just makes excuses on why this wouldn't work or how he wants something that doesn't take too much time

@Israfil But you also said you were broke and still getting girls? So that should mark upping my financial game off the list. 

It’s not fair for me to have to go through all this work of improving my mental state to get more dating results when people with severely damaged minds get into steamy relationships all the time! Why can’t I be like one of them if it’s what I really want? If it’s purely a matter of lacking confidence, that’s a solid goal I can work towards.

I have no motivation to improve jack shit in my life except for the ability to be a charmer, particularly for the sexual activity it would bring. It’s the only damn thing I want anymore, it’s my only interest and everything I’m passionate about. I don’t give the least amount of fuck about anything that isn’t fucking semi attractive or attractive women.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to magically start caring about other stuff when I don’t care about other stuff at all. And if I do start caring about other stuff, it’s only going to be fake caring as a means to help me get what I really care about.

Is this where “fake it til ya make it” comes into play?

Edited December 29, 2023 by Emotionalmosquito