Concern vs Self Interest

[caesar13]

In what way one decides, or how can I or you come to a conclusion that the person I am speaking with, let’s say the other person is my friend, is speaking out of self interest (you know somehow it benefits them monetarily) or really has concern for me?

One thing I came up with is, the one who has concern for me will go into details instead of just vaguely suggesting something? How about a person with a self-interest in mind wouldn’t let the other person (the one who needs help) speak? A bit rushing in tone? Frequently touch the other person’s shoulder while speaking?

Yeah, body language alone is inaccurate for evaluation, that is something I noticed.

[Keryo Koffa]

People larned to fool others and themselves since the dawn of time, so it takes time and understanding to find out.

You could say, that he should treat your interests like they were his but that might still be within his ego identity and many people propagate their own bias thinking it's for the best regardless of individual differences and try to solve your problems their own way or make you dismiss them.

To truly want the best for you, he'd need to make a conscious effort to understand your path and how your unique path to happiness looks like. Non-judging, think up create solutions and share them with you, help you contemplate, brainstorm, be there for you, desire to understand you and do it regardless of if it is hard, out of friendship, building understanding and connection. Not turn it around, not fit it into his own schema, not gain anything material out of it, not brag about helping you, not want anything in return. He'd need to act out of genuine love, as Leo described in one of his video's on Unconditional Love.

[caesar13]

@Keryo Koffa Happy New Year

 

Now that you say that, I feel that's too much to expect from someone 

[not-a-faerie]

my brain is weird, but I thought this song was quite appropriate for this thread.