Dating Mindset & Self-Worth

[CARDOZZO]

What do you think are your problems with dating?

Do you think is it more related to looks or mindset/self-worth?

After reading Peter Ralston's book on Mastery, I'm building a new relationship with dating/women.

I was extremely on effect/passive regarding some aspects of dating.

I don't consider myself ugly but I can improve.

[SeaMonster]

I don't have problems now, but for a long time it was definitely the wrong mindset.  I would guess mindset/self-worth is the real problem for a vast majority of guys.  Guys who say it's looks, money, etc. are just stupid.  They take stupid shit tests women throw at them at face value.

I'm literally average height and about a high 6 in looks, e.g. (lots of guys are hung up on height these days.)  I get interest from fairly attractive women much younger and 3 inches taller.  It's just stupid how fucked the Internet is with all that bullshit.

Edited December 16, 2023 by SeaMonster

[CARDOZZO]

@SeaMonster Great share.

Mindset is 100% super important.

[Noahsteelers34]

For me its not looks or mindset. Its just the resistance to approaching. I don't want to embarrass myself on campus. On top of this, a lot of times I am just not in the mood. At the end of the day it is all excuses for not approaching out of fear, even though there are women all around me. 

[SeaMonster]

19 hours ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

For me its not looks or mindset. Its just the resistance to approaching. I don't want to embarrass myself on campus. On top of this, a lot of times I am just not in the mood. At the end of the day it is all excuses for not approaching out of fear, even though there are women all around me. 

Not to get all into semantics here, but "resistance to approaching" IS a mindset issue.

Mindset doesn't mean you're consciously ok with yourself or think positively, because that's all bullshit/self-deception anyway.  The real test is in spontaneous behavior, your feelings and how open you are to pursuing the possibilities life is offering you.

Like, it shouldn't be hard to approach IF you see any glimmer of interest from the woman.

I keep harping on this, but most guys just really suck at reading interest signals from women (maybe because they are usually focused on 2 things: either which women out and about they really want or they are in their head focused on their own insecurities.)  They have trouble seeing women that are interested in THEM.  

If you knew that a woman was interested in you, how hard would it be to approach?  At that point, you're the one choosing who fits your standards (I would say in my experience it's a solid 1 in 5, which is plenty enough for me.)  

[CARDOZZO]

18 hours ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

ts just the resistance to approaching.

Create a personal experience where resistance doesn't exist