Being patient versus moving on

[AdamR95]

Does it pay off to try for a girl if it takes too long to get physicaly intimate with her? I know with some girls its easy to have sex on first or second date but with some girl it takes much longer and its usually those girls i consider of best quality. I have a feeling that i lost many opportunities in the past just because i was impatient or just move on to another girl.

So how long do you think is worth to try? Is it good strategy to put some girls on a backburner and go on date with them once in a while? Do you have some personal experience when being persistent with a girl for long time pays off in the end?

[NoSelfSelf]

They are running game on you with that, because they know you want sex so its game time and you losing...

[AdamR95]

@NoSelfSelf so you are saying never be patient with them?

[NoSelfSelf]

@AdamR95 Im saying dont go for whats between her legs because the one more experienced sees all your tricks,you need to hit on emotional level(its too deep to discuss here)you looking for her to hint it by the way you positioning yourself(again too deep to discuss here).

On the other hand if you hang up on sex then you dont manipulate you tell her whats your intention(nobody does because scared of instant rejection) its more important for me to be truthful and have principles then to get laid.

If she says i dont do that then you move on.(no patience yes)

But if you thristy for sex then she is always in power position to dangle it in the air when she can smell thats all you want...

Its no simple answer it depends on what you are...

Edited December 16, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[Spiral]

Do you want sex or a relationship? If you wanna get laid you shouldn’t be dating to begin with, that’s just being a fuckboy. 

[AdamR95]

@NoSelfSelf @Spiral my goal is indeed relationship, i dont care about sex by itself that much, i care about it more in context of making connection with a girl. The thing is, most dating coaches advise to have sex as soon as possible. So my issue is more that i am afraid that girl will see me more as friend if she doesnt sleep with me.

@NoSelfSelf So you saying that it doesnt matter that much if you doesnt sleep with her as long as you keep the sexual tension? That is actually confirming what i am thinking right now.

Edited December 16, 2023 by AdamR95

[NoSelfSelf]

@AdamR95 Yes as long you dont interview her about her dreams in life and what she does for fun, but instead you stimulate the mind with flirting,sensual talk,making her laugh,blush,react etc. Then its going towards the sex without you even wanting it, but she wanting it but ofc your game must be tight...

Some women have game so she would like tell you, shes not doing this and that which you could be like not following it and move on it all depends,but if she sees you as "the guy" it could happen fast its complex matter...

Dont even think about sex think about how you stimulating her and in which way..

If you afraid of friend zone right from the start create narrative that goes into flirty vibe...

 

Edited December 16, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[Butters]

Have you tried expressing your desire to have sex with her? 

[AdamR95]

24 minutes ago, Butters said:

Have you tried expressing your desire to have sex with her? 

I am not talking about specific girl, but generaly i express my desire by teasing, strong eye-contact, touching and leading on dates which i try to end up at my or her place. I am not always perfect at it, but its for what i am aiming for.

[NoSelfSelf]

51 minutes ago, AdamR95 said:

I am not talking about specific girl, but generaly i express my desire by teasing, strong eye-contact, touching and leading on dates which i try to end up at my or her place. I am not always perfect at it, but its for what i am aiming for.

That's picture perfect manipulation right there

[AdamR95]

@NoSelfSelf how is that so? I just show that i am attracted to them and i dont push them to come home with me, i just ask if they wanted to and it doesnt have to lead to sex necesseraly, i just make opportunity to get closer to her. Its not that i fake anything or try to get them to do something they dont like.

[NoSelfSelf]

@AdamR95 In general everyone knows what it means trying to get at your or her place,but okay then what does it mean get closer to her? so you tell her hey lets go to my place to do what?

[AdamR95]

@NoSelfSelf  We can cook something together for example or if its late just to show her how i live and maybe drink some wine or tea together and talk. And yes sex can happen but its not 100% expected and i dont even expect her to come over, the more important reason i ask is i like the fact that i signals her that i am interested in her sexualy.

I get a feeling from your responces that you tend to assume that my primal goal is just sex, and generally assume bad attitude on my part. I dont know why it seems to you that way but i would appreciate if you first ask how i think about it and why i do things way i do and when i give you more information you can give me advise that would actually help me.

[Yimpa]

My relationships work out when I expect absolutely nothing from them while simultaneously caring about what’s been going on in their lives. It sounds like you’re wanting to understand what women are, rather than wanting something out of women.

[Princess Arabia]

23 hours ago, AdamR95 said:

@NoSelfSelf  We can cook something together for example or if its late just to show her how i live and maybe drink some wine or tea together and talk. And yes sex can happen but its not 100% expected and i dont even expect her to come over, the more important reason i ask is i like the fact that i signals her that i am interested in her sexualy.

I get a feeling from your responces that you tend to assume that my primal goal is just sex, and generally assume bad attitude on my part. I dont know why it seems to you that way but i would appreciate if you first ask how i think about it and why i do things way i do and when i give you more information you can give me advise that would actually help me.

I like your style. Not too pushy and want to do regular stuff to enjoy each other's company. Sex will come easily to you because it's not just all you want and women can usually sense those things even though for some women, that's all they want too.

It's hard to give advice in these situations because it depends on both involved and how they view sexual contact. I think just by saying that if a girl has sex with you easily that they lack quality is a bit of a stretch and to disqualify them just on that alone, you could be limiting yourself and might lose a terrific girl who really liked you and chose to have sex with you just for that reason just as how you chose to have it with her. There's no difference. The one that waited longer might not have been a good match either and now you've let one get by you just because you both consented to sex, but you viewed her as an easy lay. That's the bias men have that I have a problem with, but this isn't about me and my hang-ups; but as far as your question goes, I don't think it's cut and dry and my suggestion is to just follow your heart and see where it leads. 

 

Edited December 17, 2023 by Princess Arabia