Why is dating so hard?

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, Rishabh R said:

to get rid of those lies first one has to question them(that is what contemplation is

There's no need to question every thought that pops into your head, not to mention the "limiting belief" ones. Thoughts just arise stemming from memory and based on your frequency and states of consciousness. Change your state and your identity and your thought patterns change. You didn't choose your thoughts, they chose you. They need you to survive. Let them be if they're not serving you. Treat thoughts like you do passing clouds. No need to contemplate them. I'm referring to thoughts that has no purpose for what you're trying to accomplish.

[Rishabh R]

@Princess Arabia ok  but by contemplation I mean questioning that- What is the most wisest way to live life ? I have generated more than 150 insights regarding it and written in my diary.Thank you.

[Princess Arabia]

14 minutes ago, Rishabh R said:

@Princess Arabia ok  but by contemplation I mean questioning that- What is the most wisest way to live life ? I have generated more than 150 insights regarding it and written in my diary.Thank you.

Follow your heart and leave the mind alone. Step into your I AM presence. Get to know who you are. Focus on what you want, not what you don't want. Stop feeding your mind with too much junk. Be careful of the things you tell yourself and how you talk to yourself. Be mindful of your triggers and examine them as to why you got triggered....when you come up with a reason, go deeper and keep going deeper until it comes to the surface. It's always about you and your self identity. How you see yourself. 

As far as dating. Just go for it. Explore. Don't limit yourself to just the physical because that's also mental. Realize that someone may attract you physically and when you get to know them, it's a different story, then you have to start all over again. Be open to everything and attached to nothing. These are just some. And believe me, I'm still working to achieve these mental states because it's not easy to change the patterns but awareness is the key to overcoming anything.

Edited December 15, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Rishabh R]

@Princess Arabia yeah but the mind journey of questioning is beautiful -it's the journey which makes you grow (which Leo showed the path). Awareness is also awesome .

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Rishabh R said:

@Princess Arabia yeah but the mind journey of questioning is beautiful -it's the journey which makes you grow (which Leo showed the path). Awareness is also awesome .

I'm not talking about that...I'm referring to the monkey mind. I question things all the time and contemplate things. That's using the mind instead of the mind using you. 

[Rishabh R]

@Princess Arabia ok thank you.

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Rishabh R said:

@Princess Arabia ok thank you.

My pleasure.

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 12/15/2023 at 0:56 AM, Rishabh R said:

I thought that I am the  one who suffers due to being single and get angry/jealous when I see a couple but didn't realise that others who are dating suffer too. You will find someone who is worth your time after a few setbacks.

They aren’t suffering as much as singles if they have full access to each other’s bodies, not even close. Seeing happy couples walking around arrogantly flaunting their love in our faces is cruel and disgusting of them. In fact I’ve been meaning to make a thread about just this. The fucking anger man, it puts you in full joker mode

On 12/15/2023 at 5:35 AM, Princess Arabia said:

Be careful what you say after the words I AM. You are declaring that as God.

Does that mean if one day you say “I am 100 pounds” and the next day you say “I am 300 pounds” you’ll end up at 200 pounds?

On 12/15/2023 at 5:51 AM, Princess Arabia said:

Do you think the people in the 1920's did those things just to have sex and procreate. I don't think you. All they had was Intention.

Well in the 20s you didn’t have onlyfans, Instagram, tiktok, sugar daddy arrangements, radical feminism, women with lucrative careers or internet as a whole pacifying a generation to never go out. All these things are why it’s becoming nearly impossible for men to find girlfriends or get laid. People were also just friendlier and easier to talk to in general because life was far more simple and there was no internet brain rot. I talked to my grandpa about dating back in his day. He was in the game back in the 50s and he said he asked out quite a few girls to find dates. His rejection/success ratio was about 1:1. Compare that with men of today getting rejected immediately 99% of the time

I’m pretty sure incels of the current era have burning intention to get laid, look how well it’s working for them

On 12/15/2023 at 6:07 AM, Princess Arabia said:

Why do you think you're still alive. You think it's because of a set of skills. No, its because you want to. That's it. Now use that power the same way to get a girl minus what that bullying mind says

If it was that easy why can’t we just walk up, tell her to be our girlfriend and that’s that? If all we need is the same intention we have to stay alive, it should work that way. But it doesn’t. That’s why we do in fact need a robust skill set to secure any sexual activity at all

 

Edited December 23, 2023 by Emotionalmosquito

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 12/15/2023 at 6:42 AM, Princess Arabia said:

Focus on what you want, not what you don't want

When you ask a girl out, that’s you focusing on what you want (her), not what you don’t want (not having her) Then she rejects you. This leaves you with what you didn’t want even though that’s not what you were focused on. Conversely, sometimes guys will ask a girl out fully expecting a rejection, (focusing on what they don’t want) yet are pleasantly surprised to discover she actually says yes. 

If what you say is true, how can this be?

[Yimpa]

3 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

If what you say is true, how can this be?

Because opposites attract 

[Tenebroso]

Life isn't fair there is not someone for everyone. Some men will attract thousands of women without doing any inner work or anything, some men will attract nothing despite their efforts.

[Yimpa]

10 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

Life isn't fair there is not someone for everyone.

Not really, unless that’s really the way you want to live life.

You’ll organically meet people and form strong, meaningful connections the more in touch you are with your values. 

Edited December 22, 2023 by Yimpa

[Devin]

There's all kinds of people for everyone.

[Israfil]

13 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

They aren’t suffering as much as singles if they have full access to each other’s bodies, not even close. Seeing happy couples walking around arrogantly flaunting their love in our faces is cruel and disgusting of them. In fact I’ve been meaning to make a thread about just this. The fucking anger man, it puts you in full joker mode

Does that mean if one day you say “I am 100 pounds” and the next day you say “I am 300 pounds” you’ll end up at 200 pounds?

Well in the 20s you didn’t have onlyfans, Instagram, tiktok, sugar daddy arrangements, radical feminism, women with lucrative careers or internet as a whole pacifying a generation to never go out. All these things are why it’s becoming nearly impossible for men to find girlfriends or get laid. People were also just friendlier and easier to talk to in general because life was far more simple and there was no internet brain rot. I talked to my grandpa about dating back in his day. He was in the game back in the 50s and he said he asked out quite a few girls to find dates. His rejection/success ratio was about 1:1. Compare that with men of today getting rejected immediately 99% of the time

I’m pretty sure the incels the current era have burning intention to get laid, look how well it’s working for them

If it was that easy why can’t we just walk up, tell her to be our girlfriend and that’s that? If all we need is the same intention we have to stay alive, it should work that way. But it doesn’t. That’s why we do in fact need a robust skill set to secure any sexual activity at all.

 

I've met some doomers in this forum, but you take the crown, man. 

Is there some chance that the negativity you feel affects the way you talk to people? Don't you think that people can sense the anger, frustration and depression you constantly talk about here when you interact with them? 

[Emotionalmosquito]

11 hours ago, Devin said:

There's all kinds of people for everyone.

Not if your city is too small and you don’t have the money or ability to get the money to move out 

19 hours ago, Yimpa said:

Because opposites attract 

If I understand it right, it sounds like she’s saying the reason men fail to get partners is because they’re not focused enough on what they want. That confuses me because when you get rejected by a girl, were you not focused on her? 

8 hours ago, Israfil said:

Is there some chance that the negativity you feel affects the way you talk to people? Don't you think that people can sense the anger, frustration and depression you constantly talk about here when you interact with them? 

Currently yeah but it hasn’t always been that way. Even when I was in much better shape mentally and physically there were still no girls to be had

 

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 12/22/2023 at 2:39 PM, Israfil said:

Is there some chance that the negativity you feel affects the way you talk to people? Don't you think that people can sense the anger, frustration and depression you constantly talk about here when you interact with them? 

Actually it may not be that simple. You know there’s a common thing where PUA masters will be very toxic and mean to the girls they pull as payback for putting them through so much misery to get to that skill level. If people (girls especially) were so good at picking up on people’s hatred towards them, shouldn’t they have not been able to attain such a high rank in the first place?

This suggests misanthropy/misogyny is not necessarily an obstacle to getting good with chicks

Edited December 26, 2023 by Emotionalmosquito