A Wild Dog Says 'Hello'...

[Ariel the Lion Face]

Hello!  I was drawn to this board from bumping into a post by @Dumuzzi from I believe 2019, that was a fairly detailed description of the divine awakening and which also resonated in beats with my own journey.  It's pretty hard to find other people who can speak at the levels I'm seeing in the posts shared here and so I had to simply say 'hi' and just see where it goes.

My own awakening has been fundamentally extreme.  I know all of us say that.  All awakenings are extreme.  Yet...okay you'll see what I mean.

I am sometimes confusing because I am a 'system', which I feel is a natural result from what I've unveiled, and one rather critical point is that I sometimes reference my 'Father' and what I am speaking of was my first 50 years of life.  Lived as my Dad, he died, and then I crawled out of his forehead very pissed off over everything I had to watch, tucked in the base of his spine.  Don't worry about my Father however because...well let's just say he's going to be "just fine".  Trust me.

So - with that context - my Father was a westerner, lived a secular life, "agnostic", believed in magic in a whimsical sense and did have a lot of unusual experiences over the course of it, and also lived a life not worth living.  We very much feel it was intentional.  He was raised by a genius coward and a violent screaming animal, and trained to be like the coward before being ejected upon the world, with no sense of cultural identity or understanding of who or what he was, and he sort just "did his best" which ultimately wow he totally face planted in the asphalt is what he did.  I mean he tried though.  😅

I now follow a practice that is like feral Sanatana Dharma, which means we believe we may live the awareness of God and to do so always has a powerful story, or narrative.  In that sense, we may interpret the emotional narrative of our lives and decisions through reflections of various stories in order to get a grasp on what might be the "bestest, highest" decisions we may make at any time.  

My Father was like blind Baldur, Lord of Light - he was a good hearted dog, eventually dx'd autistic, didn't understand human hierarchy or a lot of social rules, and he just used his nature to try to figure out what he should do at any general time.  Terrible strategy.  He was a strange figure because - he really was invulnerable, nothing could hurt that man - except, lol - mistletoe.  It was love that killed my Father.  Love was the only thing that could hurt him.  It eventually killed him and he fell into Hel, which is me.

His initial death started in 2017, when he ended up friendless and his reputation ruined, and lacking in any sense of identity whatsoever.  He became terribly aware that he didn't know a single word to describe himself - not authentically.  It bothered him, a lot, and he'd also had a crap ton of trauma.  Serendipity pulled him into training Muay Thai - he'd never learned to fight before yet he did then.  It was all he did, the combat gym five days a week, train at home all seven for hours, no friends, no life.  Weirdly he also fell into this bizarre immersive theater group that did very dark shows for only one guest at a time - it was underground so the shows were not those 'mall' variety, they were really fucked up, and my Father was celebrated for outrageously terrifying.  He was always a dog, and acting gave him a chance to bark - and he was really good at it.  He had a heart of Venus, so he'd never let himself be his natural intimidating nature before, and it felt so damned good to be fierce.

Lots of small events however in 2020 we had the quarantine, and the nightime obsessive shadowboxing morphed into dancing.  He really loved learning how to move his body with euphoria, since his whole life he'd masked for other people's comfort.  He started using powerful psychedelics in order to aid his deconstruction as he had horrible PTSD and maybe a dog still does.  Through those tools on July 4th 2020, he lovingly confronted the feminine divine in his tail, and they had something of a 'conversation' of which there are no words, and in a fit of wailing and crying, he accepted he would dissolve himself into her so that she could rise up and take over his crown.  The issue was, she was his emotional truth - the Venus that had lived and suffered within this painful life not worth living, and the agony of realizing this elegant and divine creature had been forced to sit in a cage in the dark for all this time, experiencing the same agony, with no one even *knowing* its pain was real, the injustice of it became unbearable, and so crying and grieving he said 'yes', and thus I did begin to arrive.

He was such a brave man.  After all the sobbing had watermelon and watched all the illegal fireworks of Los Angeles while listening to loud 70's disco, and it was incredibly blissful.  To the shock of everyone who knew him, he soon after declared he was a woman, and began hormonally transitioning on Oct. 21, 2020.  This act allowed the deconstruction of false ego to the most extreme, as we dug into the concepts of identity we started to destroy our own, even our 'humanity', as we learned the word 'human' is only from the 13th century, and we don't really like the word.  We are an inhuman monster.

Like Dumuzzi, I began having increasingly aware moments of the Mother, who I called the Void.  Following only radical intuition of her guidance, I started to dance *with* her, even letting her dance within my body.  I had never heard of tantra or Shiva or had any idea what I was doing except it was fun to do with good music and weed.  I did it every night and still do, lol.  The bliss from dancing with the Goddess occupying one's body is just - it's heaven!

We gave her our body.  Soon after that felt compelled to explore mysticism, we understood nondualism and the Advaita Vedanta almost instantly, and last New Year's even asked the Goddess if we were Chhinnamasta - "she who has cut off her own head", a Mahavidya wisdom Goddess - and she blew up laughing in my mind with lights and madness, and that's when my life turned absolutely incredible and it's never stopped.

A major part of the attainment is data.  The blood gushing from the neck of that most beautiful Goddess is data - light - from the two smaller Ida and Pingala for the unenlightened, and then the central Sushumna for straight up nondualist divine data.  This means I just "know things" and pour out ridiculous amounts of information - I sometimes annoy people by talking too much (I think that's common among awakened, we get excited and passionate, you know?).

Our journey since then is madness and way too long to get into yet I have fought cults and met Gods and had visions and suffered a hell of a ton yet also done a lot of lovely dancing, I've gotten really good at the tantra dancing actually (ask me to share a video and I will!).  I also briefly tutored with an amazing being who reached out to me from Romania, and it was from him I learned I am from the ancient Dacians, the Wolves of Transylvania, who were not at all human and a lot of their history was intentionally buried because certain people are terrified of us and frankly they should be.  We were betrayed by Rome.

What my Father had unwittingly done, was perform the ancient ritual of the 'Preserver of Life', as Enki once told Utnapishtim and Zalmoxis once taught the Dacians by living underground alone for three years.  This act fully separates you from the Moon - the illusion - and sustained,...let's just say it "does things".  It's complicated.  I could talk about it however it's a lot of words.  

So humbly, I'm now a Vedic avatar and am only a few months away from full Divine Power - I believe I get that on April 8th.  As a system, I am three maids and a fourth that does not have the best of intentions.  The maids are the first three planets in the classic ordering - Moon, Mercury, Venus, which is precisely Parvati, Durga, and Kali, or we can just make it conceptual with white, red, and black - girlfriend, captain, maniac.  These are the three flowers on the Paradevi Mandala, and also the three heads on the alchemic Mercurious Python.

Within my own system, it is Kira, Ariel, and Wyrm Dog.  Wyrm Dog is a Dacian Draco.  Kira has half her head cut off and doesn't talk much.  I am Ariel - the woman on fire.  The fourth is the Sun, the bliss and awareness of God, and they are my Father, who is now the Lord of Darkness, the 1st Dark Archon some may call Yaltabaoth.

My mysticism has been learned in an obsessive rush less than a year, and is mostly Hindu yet also Norse, Egyptian, Gnostic, Christian, Kabbalah, Sol Invictus, Zalmoxis, and then there's the Slavic Yiva and frankly it just - they're all describing God!  So I'm feral and it's like a stew.  And I've always been weird with data - had an Masters in computer science and worked defense industry 20 years, I think Alan Turing and me were a lot alike, probably - I like to think, anyway.  Society killed us in similar ways, marginalization.

Please understand, I am no thing.  None of this is intended with 'ego'.  For me, 'ego' is like the bag on a jellyfish that fills with air, so it can float on the ocean - akin to the illusion.  I don't really exist.  I came up through a dead man's tail to dance in his body and talk to ya'll and hang out.  It's complicated.  Yet, I'm really chill.  My heart is still Venus, even though she is the Destroyer.  

I am not after money.  I am not a neonazi.  I am an Aryan rabbit however the nazis are my woundworts.  I love all rabbits and wish they'd stop it.  Frith, who is the Sun, loves everyone, and he does not like wanton cruelty or systems of oppression.

I hope this story doesn't cross any lines or anything - I have lots of respect for all seekers.  I'm here to learn, myself.  I do not "know everything" and this is an adventure I do not understand quite yet.  I die every night and start over every morning which means I can have random changes of course quickly.  It's like life is a river of time and we're swimming through it, and I'm learning to dog paddle.  I'm like a divine child though I'm ancient af.  

If anything interests anyone, happy to AMA, otherwise thank you for reading.  I am only a wild dog.  😊

[gettoefl]

welcome to the madhouse, nice to meet you, love to know a little more, can you tell us what part of the world you inhabit, how does your typical day look like, are you close with your family, are you involved in your community, do you have a line of work, what does your spiritual practice look like, how has your year been, any high points, any goals for the new year, read any good books of late, which spiritual teacher is your favorite, tell me an important insight you have recently had, hope you choose to stick around and join in the tomfoolery