Am I Ready For A Relationship?

[joegarland]

I've realized this recently that I enter every interaction with someone feeling as if I need to prove myself. As if I'm not enough. I leave every single interaction feeling bad about myself on some level.

I do not enjoy talking to people--not because of them, but because I always feel bad about myself after doing it.  I almost always feel unaccepted and misunderstood. I experience really horrible self-talk that has keep me pretty isolated. 

I've grown conscious of it recently, and am beginning to dissociate from it. I figured that I'm going to stop punishing myself like this and go after the things I want in my life: good friendships, and a good relationship. I've been hanging out with people more often and flirting with a girl I see every day.

The negative self-talk still has a powerful grip on me right now, though. I still feel bad about myself after I talk to people.

I wonder, is this any kind of state to be in when starting a relationship? Will I come across as needy?   Should I hold off on starting one until my self-talk is better (and I'm consciously working on that) and my confidence kicks in? Or would being in a relationship help me develop more confidence in myself as I go along? Is intentionally withholding something I want for myself (a relationship) until I am somehow "cured" just another form of self-hate? 

Am I ready for a relationship or not?

 

[cly]

I think being in a relationship, no matter how long it lasts, will help you build more confidence, yeah.. Also, watch some more of actualized.org videos...  Like this one:   http://actualized.org/articles/how-to-deal-with-strong-negative-emotions

[Lynnel]

33 minutes ago, joegarland said:

Am I ready for a relationship or not?

 

Why do you want one in the first place ?

[kalter000]

Yeah, you definitely lack self-acceptance. You are constantly comparing yourself with a mental image of "better" or "more suitable" you. It's great, that you are raising awareness about this negative talk and recognised these limiting beliefs " I'm not enough"," I am unaccepted and misunderstood". Those are signs of low self-esteem. Realise that thoughts are just thoughts and have nothing to do with reality.

People start relationships with much worse conditions. The thing is they aren't aware of it. You have to deal with your problem for the sake of your own well-being. Right now you most likely will attract girls with similar problems. Yeah, you will get a relationship, but you can imagine quality of it  

But still go for it, for experience. You will never be ready or enough for anything in life. 

[joegarland]

12 hours ago, kalter000 said:

Right now you most likely will attract girls with similar problems. Yeah, you will get a relationship, but you can imagine quality of it  

LOL, true that. Good point. I'll probably go through with it anyway and see what happens.