what are your thoughts on 'femdom' kink ?

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 12/29/2023 at 6:24 PM, Squeekytoy said:

One thing I know for a fact is that stagnated sexual development due to lack of experiences, holds you back in many other areas as well.

Exactly. I’ve realized this quite a while ago. I don’t think it can be understated just how important it is to have those sexual experiences.

On 12/29/2023 at 6:24 PM, Squeekytoy said:

it will benefit you in countless other ways. Everything is fair game.

This is self love!

Yeah and as for the domme stuff, it could be helpful to instead of feeling like ur paying to get beat up, look at it like you’re just going to see a very special prostitute, which is kind of true.

On 12/29/2023 at 6:24 PM, Squeekytoy said:

Btw. you could go for a TPE doll instead of silicone. They are way less expensive, and also a softer material which is what you want for the perfect comfort object.

Damn. I really wish it could be the best of both worlds with the silicone vs tpe decision. I’ve done quite a bit of looking into sex dolls and somehow still missed the fact that tpe feels more realistic but silicone looks more realistic  Silicone also holds up better and is more durable. Damnit damnit damnit I wanted it to be both! Just look at how real that looks 

 

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 12/26/2023 at 6:38 AM, kenway said:

There are also many non-pro options, like going along to BDSM munches (social lunches) or BDSM nightclubs that might be in your area. Continued research is a slow process, but again is worth it if you feel the calling.

My city barely has shit. The good news is there are two cities with about half a million population within reasonable driving distance that I could start visiting or maybe move to someday.

On 12/26/2023 at 6:38 AM, kenway said:

Putting aside the obvious comedic dimension - "I spent $500 on a plane ticket just to be kicked in the balls" - you'll probably find that the adventure was worth it.

LOL. Another comedic dimension would be to complain “Why should I have to pay for something that some guys get for free when they get caught cheating or piss off their girlfriends too much?! Those guys aren’t even the ones who want it!”

There has to be some way to provoke it into happening without acting like a total lunatic. Like maybe play your cards really well by saying the right thing at the right time, or rather, wrong thing; wrong time, depending how you look at it. I’ve seen too many horror stories of guys receiving it unexpectedly or intentionally provoking it. One thing I’ve heard people have success doing is getting private dances at strip clubs and offering the stripper to knee them if she’s comfortable with it, and often times she will be. Of course this isn’t exactly free but it’s sure cheaper than traveling a long ass distance.

I’m just trying to think of ideas now. The more I think about this, the more enrapturing it becomes.

Obviously the biggest risk (and why paying the extra bucks for a professional  is the best and safest option) is biting off a harder kick than you can chew.

[Cocolove]

Bro I really think you should go get a real girl, the doll thing sounds sad. Maybe do 2000 approaches and if that doesn't work then you get one before doing 2000 more. But if you havent taken massive action to actually meet this need then you don't need to settle.

[Nilsi]

It’s one of the more conventional kinks. I could get off of that from time to time (maybe 1-5% of my sex life). 

There are some really fucked up kinks though, that are actually worth going WTF over (like stuff with feces, or extreme physical violence).

[gettoefl]

in addition to what i said earlier ... this is  vilest and most heinous of kinks

it is one psychopathic bloodsucker feeding on some poor traumatised brutalised wretch who thinks he is getting something for his payment

two sick people sinking deeper into hell's pit

and even more insanely proclaiming it's all good

their parents and kids are obviously so proud of them

[Cocolove]

What are you doing on this forum like get out of here with the blue values omg.

Notice that your arguments do not come from an understanding that this kink somehow actually hurts people, but from an emotional moralistic outburst.

[gettoefl]

5 hours ago, Cocolove said:

What are you doing on this forum like get out of here with the blue values omg.

Notice that your arguments do not come from an understanding that this kink somehow actually hurts people, but from an emotional moralistic outburst.

i hate wasted lives, i wasted so many and yes i project that outwards, however i don't shun it ... i am a conduit of love for shining a light on such derangement and i love people back to wholeness by showing them what actual love is ... have had friends entrapped in this and gotten beyond

[Applegarden8]

On 1/9/2024 at 7:13 PM, gettoefl said:

in addition to what i said earlier ... this is  vilest and most heinous of kinks

it is one psychopathic bloodsucker feeding on some poor traumatised brutalised wretch who thinks he is getting something for his payment

two sick people sinking deeper into hell's pit

and even more insanely proclaiming it's all good

their parents and kids are obviously so proud of them

For example, if I and woman agrees that I should be tied up for some time and we have sex, is this sick? Just curious.

[gettoefl]

9 hours ago, Applegarden8 said:

For example, if I and woman agrees that I should be tied up for some time and we have sex, is this sick? Just curious.

is she tying up your bank account?

[kenway]

On 09/01/2024 at 5:13 PM, gettoefl said:

in addition to what i said earlier ... this is  vilest and most heinous of kinks

it is one psychopathic bloodsucker feeding on some poor traumatised brutalised wretch who thinks he is getting something for his payment

two sick people sinking deeper into hell's pit

and even more insanely proclaiming it's all good

their parents and kids are obviously so proud of them

 

With respect, you're being a little bit militantly judgemental about something that you don't really understand.

Not everyone in this world has trauma. For some people its just art.

Should people with a history of trauma or other psychological / spiritual issues engage in such things? Possibly not.

But for everyone else it's just another theatrical exposition on a Shakespearean stage between the Montagues and Capulets.

[Emissary]

For reasons unknown, most humans tend to exhibit at least some degree of masochism, femdom or other sorts of dom are the more hardcore forms, while there's also lighter stuff pretty much everyone likes to engage in such as dirty talk during sex. Personally I also find it all strange and repulsive, but make no judgements about it, accepting the quirks of others is a net positive for everyone.

[gettoefl]

50 minutes ago, kenway said:

 

With respect, you're being a little bit militantly judgemental about something that you don't really understand.

Not everyone in this world has trauma. For some people its just art.

Should people with a history of trauma or other psychological / spiritual issues engage in such things? Possibly not.

But for everyone else it's just another theatrical exposition on a Shakespearean stage between the Montagues and Capulets.

pure hatred feeding on self hatred

let me squeeze your worthless excuse for a human being's bones off this planet but hey let's inflict the pain as slow as possible so my bank account can grow as fat as possible and i can savor your pathetic screams as much as possible

[kenway]

23 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

pure hatred feeding on self hatred

 

That's simply not the way it works.

If anything, it's the total opposite of that. I'm talking about people who don't understand what hatred or self-hatred feels like, and so want to play with such energies because they have no experience in them.

But beyond that, sexuality is about power dynamics. Ultimately, even the most vanilla of sexualities comes down to assertiveness vs vulnerability, dominance vs submission. All that remains is the manner in how these things manifest. Masculine dominance typically manifests as violence and the threat of violence. Female dominance (in a sexual sense) typically manifests as humiliation, financial manipulation and sexual rejection. It's just the way the modern world makes sense and plays around with primitive energies.

What are you thoughts about gay people, by the way?

In any event, you're being very very subjective and coloring theories about such things from your own negative experiences.... which given your proclaimed redemption is somewhat ironic, especially as it leaves a bitter taste in this thread, making people feel shitty about the things that they like.

Edited January 12 by kenway

[Yimpa]

My partner and I are both genderfluid. 

[Schizophonia]

44 minutes ago, Emissary said:

For reasons unknown, most humans tend to exhibit at least some degree of masochism, femdom or other sorts of dom are the more hardcore forms, while there's also lighter stuff pretty much everyone likes to engage in such as dirty talk during sex. Personally I also find it all strange and repulsive, but make no judgements about it, accepting the quirks of others is a net positive for everyone.

No. 

 

[Applegarden8]

3 hours ago, gettoefl said:

is she tying up your bank account?

I don't know to whom you are referring to as she, since this was an example I gave within a question you did not choose to answer. But if I currently had relationship, I would entice, talk and explore some kinks for sure, because the point is to satisfy the other.

Edited January 12 by Applegarden8

[gettoefl]

12 hours ago, kenway said:

 

That's simply not the way it works.

If anything, it's the total opposite of that. I'm talking about people who don't understand what hatred or self-hatred feels like, and so want to play with such energies because they have no experience in them.

But beyond that, sexuality is about power dynamics. Ultimately, even the most vanilla of sexualities comes down to assertiveness vs vulnerability, dominance vs submission. All that remains is the manner in how these things manifest. Masculine dominance typically manifests as violence and the threat of violence. Female dominance (in a sexual sense) typically manifests as humiliation, financial manipulation and sexual rejection. It's just the way the modern world makes sense and plays around with primitive energies.

 

sure we can play the game nicely then, you had better be filthy rich though right? and you need to keep me in the extravagant lifestyle i am accustomed to, hey i even promise to smile even though to me you are just a disgusting exploitable pig that makes my skin crawl every moment i think of you

i am doing nothing more than explaining a predatory mindset so that some may see what this dynamic is about OFTEN THOUGH NOT ALWAYS

[Emotionalmosquito]

14 hours ago, kenway said:

Should people with a history of trauma or other psychological / spiritual issues engage in such things? Possibly not.

That’s a big grey area. It would be difficult to accurately determine if it’s healthy to indulge or not in every case. 

What @gettoefl says is not entirely incorrect. For some people I think it can be quite counterproductive to spiritual or emotional development and doesn’t necessarily depend on if the fixation is rooted in trauma. 

As a thought experiment let’s take an extreme (and unfortunately not totally unheard of) example:

A nerdy kid in Jr. high school gets lured in by his crush who leads him to believe she’s going to give him some heavenly positive attention. Soon as he gets close enough she places her hands on his shoulders and knees him in the balls perfectly smashing them both into his pubic bone with blunt force sending him straight into the single most humiliating, physically painful and traumatic experience of his life. He drops like a hot potato. The sound of several other girls laughing at his reaction echoes in his head as he drifts in and out of consciousness from the severe shock. Perhaps it even causes him to vomit.

His only way to cope with such a hellish experience without killing himself or turning to opiates is to turn it into boner fuel. Once it becomes boner fuel it’s highly doubtful he’ll ever be able to fully purge the kink from his subconscious. It’s there to stay. 

After a number of years go by and everyone has graduated and the girl is long gone, now the question is: Is it healthy for this individual to continue seeking to relive his defining moment that at the time he had to sexualize just to survive? 

The answer may not be as simple as a clear yes or no, but perhaps it can be.

Conversely, an individual who hasn’t experienced anything close to a nightmare of that magnitude may still develop an unhealthy relationship with his or her kink  

 

[kenway]

1 hour ago, gettoefl said:

sure we can play the game nicely then, you had better be filthy rich though right? and you need to keep me in the extravagant lifestyle i am accustomed to, hey i even promise to smile even though to me you are just a disgusting exploitable pig that makes my skin crawl every moment i think of you

i am doing nothing more than explaining a predatory mindset so that some may see what this dynamic is about OFTEN THOUGH NOT ALWAYS

But you're not doing that though.

You're defaming the entire BDSM community and kink-shaming people based on your own subjective negative experiences. How are you in a position (for example) to talk about "often" and "always".

The majority of BDSM is the creative and artistic equivalent of psychonautica. Established protagonists are literally unexploitable - usually much stronger than classic alpha-males types, simply because where classic alpha-male types run around like chickens afraid of everything from death to humiliation, to rejection, the submissive says no... bring me more of that shit. Fill my cup until it overfloweth. Humiliate me. Crucify me. Exterminate me. Turn on the gas muthafucka. o7

That's not exploitation. That's the creative curiosity and inner strength to explore the shadow. 

 

4 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

now the question is: Is it healthy for this individual to continue seeking to relive his defining moment that at the time he had to sexualize just to survive? 

Yes it is.

Because even though you don't realise it yet, there's a strong possibility that you're discovering fundamental elements to your sexuality that cannot be put into words. 

[gettoefl]

2 minutes ago, kenway said:

But you're not doing that though.

You're defaming the entire BDSM community and kink-shaming people based on your own subjective negative experiences. How are you in a position (for example) to talk about "often" and "always".

The majority of BDSM is the creative and artistic equivalent of psychonautica. Established protagonists are literally unexploitable - usually much stronger than classic alpha-males types, simply because where classic alpha-male types run around like chickens afraid of everything from death to humiliation, to rejection, the submissive says no... bring me more of that shit. Fill my cup until it overfloweth. Humiliate me. Crucify me. Exterminate me. Turn on the gas muthafucka. o7

That's not exploitation. That's the creative curiosity and inner strength to explore the shadow. 

 

for me it's bloodsuckers sucking the life from the mortally wounded and prolonging their injuries to ensure they get zero help and all the while the perp fattens their kids college account

i am talking about the monstrous mindset of the video maker above where someone wants their mark as a snivelling broken indentured slave

that's their goal nothing more, give me your money or your life

nothing wrong with bdsm and its offshoots