Super Long Rant on Ego, Love, (Non-)Duality and Being

[Keryo Koffa]

When you lose yourself in rational thought and see the world through that lens, you impose that limitation and mode of perception upon yourself. You ignore and dismiss deeper levels of interfacing with reality like emotions and senses and forget what it means to live through direct awareness. Your brain becomes trapped in the same loops, the default mode network forms. Your awareness moves around at the top level of the holarchy and only accesses the lower tiers reductively. The lower levels are desensitized and forgotten, only appearing when unmanaged physiological or emotional urges accumulate. Still, they fall into a conceptual framework and are treated as irrationalities to be consciously rejected, repressed or numbed through distraction like addictive behaviors or medication. To uncover, reintegrate and change your state of mind and access the lower, more fundamental layers of your psyche, you need to let go of that which keeps you in a closed mindset, ego. Ego is a self-perpetuating identity. It co-opts fear to protect itself and close oneself of. It creates and establishes emotional barriers, it builds layers of anxiety, anxiety spawns rigid behavior to avoid danger, which is whatever is at odds with the ego's identity. Ego spawns habits and distractions to avoid change and reintegration into a greater whole. It's ultimate goal is to exist in its current form forever, that is however impossible, so it does the next best thing of keeping the organism and reality it exists inside from changing in whatever way possible. It might be rigid in some areas and dynamic in others, change itself might be part of its identity, but then it will be rigid about that. It is an emergent self-replicating behaviral pattern. Life necessitates ego by virtue of desiring to survive, but its extent is infinitely variable and it can exist on any layer, it can become a detriment to the larger system and cause its own downfall because of it. Ego creates hate and hates change and whatever it associates with it. It loves in a conditional fashion that which mirrors itself and is willing to sacrifice parts of itself for a greater good, which is a larger aspect of its identity. Ego exists in division, identification with one side of a duality, creating infinite dualities, interconnecting them and associating your consciousness with that part. Ego is preference, ego is attachment. The less ego you have, the less you exist, for to exist is to experience, but to experience, you need to distinguish, and to distinguish, you must want, and to want, you need a drive, and the drive we're born with is survival, expressed in all our evolved behaviors, hunger, pain, curiosity, love. The collective holarchy is called the social matrix, it's the deep collective drive that is created through many layers of personal and impersonal interactions of individuals and their emergent behavioral patterns they exist in feedback loops with. It creates a sense of obligation, purpose, identity, self-worth and belonging that is communicated and felt by individuals at the bottom of the holarchy through their environment. It is another self-perpetuating ego that can exist in contrast to an individual, or be aligned with, partially or wholly, giving up the individual's independent thinking and reasoning ability for the shared identity with the collective. It is ultimately an emergent property of individual interactions though and mirrors their nature. It can be changed, just as an individual identity can change, but the ego has to be transcended, and it the case of the social-matrix, the collective mass of egos have to transcend their limitations in order for that to manifest on that highest scale. But all ego is self-perpetuating, so the only place change can start, is where ego originates from, undivided consciousness. But how would one break out of the self-perpetuating loop, when lost on the inside? By a different kind of ego. Love and emergent empathy is part of our nature, it drives us towards expanding our sense of identity and becoming in touch with ourselves and the world around us, it raises our consciousness instead of limiting it. If we rejected ego, we'd create another duality that fights against its opposite, in survival it might be necessary, vut surrvival was always the ego's game. We incorporate ego, dissolving dualities of preference, by loving both sides equally and understanding their importance. Love can exist as a duality to hate, a preference, to love one part of a duality is to hate its opposite, the more one loves something, the more one fears to lose it and hates whatever initiates that loss. So love and hate exist within ego as well, just like love exists without ego. The difference is the extent of love, when everything is love, there is no room for hate. But couldn't the duality dissolve into hate instead? Well, hate is an act, and every action is motivated by love, love is the only reason one acts, so even if an ego hates everything, the only reason it does, is because it loves to, it satisfies it and that satisfaction self-perpetuates it. So in truth, hate doesn't exist, it only exists as an emergent property of limited love, love is real, hate is conditional and created through preference, which is the channeling of love onto one aspect only. The fundamental mental building block of existence hence appears to be: The channeling of love. That creates identinty and preference, division and reality, to experience existence at all, one has to channel love into a specific aspect of oneself to be able to experience it. Without preference, everything would dissolve into nothing, perfect unconditional love and indistinguishable Non-Duality. So god has no desires except to be god, but god is infinite and to be oneself and see onself, god has to divide and channel love into all these parts of itself. So then god simulates the entire universe through divison and our consciousness is tied to a biological entity's first person view of itself and its environment and that it perceives itself as such, but all of it is awareness, all of it is consciousness. That entity has a subconscious it cannot access at all times, that's a limitation imposed both by its ego and god that granted it that limited form. That creature, human, individual is beautiful but limited, conscioisness is everything. Right now, your consciousness is limited to your first person view of the world, but it is imaginary, and yet real at the same time. After all, the difference is imaginary, god is being, you are being, you are a part of god, your indentity is imaginary, your world is a simulation, your life is real, your existence is real, the pain and love is real. It is imagined, interpreted through identity, preference, bias, all perspectives, all lenses, but in the lens you live, it is real. Nothing is real and everything is real, nothing is imaginary and everything is imaginary. The distinction is both real and imaginary. The distinction exists but it is a perspective. Are perspectives real? They are partial, real in themselves, a delusion from the outside, what they really are, is arbitrary. Maybe that word can dissolve the distinction betwen real and imaginary, the difference is arbitrary. But any word is a duality by virtue of being a reference because to point to something is for something to exist in opposition to something else, else there'd be nothing to point to as there would only be that one thing. Arbitrary might be a duality to consistency, a constant, immutability. But all of reality can exist in limitless superpositions, the channeling of love can occur in any configuration, yet reality happens as it does, its distinct and it occurs regardless of how complex it seems. Our being is the truth and the truth is immutable, constant, consistent, aligned with what god imagines. But what god imagines is arbitrary, but at the same time not, because god is unbiased. The truth is that which is the case, that changes all the time, hence arbitrary, but it is always itself, what it is meant to be, what god imagines it to be, aligned and constant. It dissolves that contradiction. God is absolute truth, god is unconditional love, god is infinite. Why? Do we adapt those beliefs? Nope, we define and experience god. God is Non-Duality, the end of ego dissolution, God is your highest form, your most actualized self, your undifferentiated consciousness. Consciousness is your direct first person experience of reality, god is that reality dissolved in love. God is not hypothetical, god is not belived, beliefs are rational pointers, impersonal, biased and easy to misinterpret. They are an attempt at communicating the importance and extent of the divine, its form and nature, but they're stories, ideas, human concepts and they end up perpetuating ego, the exact opposite of the path to god. God is the dissolution of all boundries and pure unconditional love, all of existence, whose parts we are and whose consciousness we are. We are ego and we are god, the difference is the level of love and division. To live in this world is to divide it, to live is to care about surviving. To love someone is to want them to keep living and be happy. All of these preferences will be given up on the path to godhood. But until then, your identity needs to expand from inside this automaton's survival bias, towards collective health, towards caring for the planet, towards wanting what's best for all life in the universe, multiverse, towards drawing less distinctions about when life becomes life, towards letting all of it flow, ego and egoless. And then there's psychedelics, inducing a state of deep conscious interaction with reality and understanding your ego through being thrown into love and a non-scarcity growth mindset, inducing unconditional love shows you the limitation of the ego. Your brain's pathways shape after the ego you create and the way it views reality. Psychedelics dissolve that ego by connecting every part of the brain, creating neural plasticity and giving you control of all your brain's pathways back. They also show you what experiencing reality freshly at a higher state of engagement feels like. In high dosis, they lead to hallucinations, which is really just your brain interconnecting and speedrunning all associations and their relation to each other, interpreting all of your senses, emotions, thoughts, ideas creatively at a profound level. That's where all the insights come from, that's where all the crazy stories come from, that's where all the fascinating hippie reports from the 60s originate. A brain on psychedelics interconnects reality at an insane rate in hyper-creative ways and no resistance towards doing it, seeking and giving itself love while experiencing overwhelming emotions through a strong link between all brain areas. The brain is imaginary but real, arbitrary but consistent, it is what it is, a vessel for our consciousness to perceive and experience this simulation's world from inside of. Psychedelics increase brain activity and interconnect it, and our conscious experience is exactly what you would expect. Less bias, less preference of pathways, means more direct unlimited perception, more engagement, more experience, more creativity and by lack of bias, love. Tons of love. To take psychedelics is to speed up your psyche, to induce ego dissolution physically instead of mentally. But it will only work if you know what you're doing and can make sense of what it means, else you'll get confused and overwhelmed, thinking it is real and might last forever, you might get scared, you might be overstimulated, you might get paranoid, you might interpret paranoia into your perception, you might get very stressed and time might stop for an eternity, in the wrong state of mind, it might amplify your most negative aspects to infinity and make you speedrun hell instead of heaven. Though the speedrun will only last for hours of thw world's time, you will experience it for a perceived eternity, granted how fast your brain will reinterpret reality and you might hurt yourself in the process or do worse. That's why sellers tell us to start small and be careful and respectful. It's so be don't fall into a self-perpetuating loop of misery and dissolve our sense of control and autonomy to stop it in the storm. Just like reality, a bad trip is imaginary but real. There are people unable to deal with the state of their reality and have mental breakdowns and bad trips follow the same mechanics because realness is imaginary. Psychedelics show you that arbitrariness, but you have to realize that's what they're pointing to, god's imaginary multiverse. Without resistance, there's no suffering, so that's why you always hear not to resist a bad trip, align yourself with it and it will pass, it might even turn into a good one, realizing the difference might as well be the most informative thing you'll ever learn. But be careful and learn how it affects you, else you're jumping into water not knowing how to swim, you might learn it on the way, find a piece of wood to hold onto, someone might throw you a life ring and save you, or you might drown, or you could learn how to swim beforehand, but you can only last so long in deep waters, so you need to keep practising and improving to swim further, dive deeper and know that if you're out of energy, you need to lie flat on the surface and float on top until you're eventually washed ashore. Psychedelics are a speedrun, they also induce awareness and presence, they're invaluable tools for growth, transcendence or even just fixing your life by taking you out of ego and seeing things more objectively and creatively, use them wisely. Of course to learn wisdom, you must experience first hand, after all, only you can know what's true, but you can use others' experiences as pointers and guidance to help you navigate and where to be more careful. Danger might be fabricated by the ego or it might be real and deadly, when someone alarms you to danger, take it slow, analyze, interconnect, learn, look at other people's experiences, figure out everyone's bias, if you decide to face the danger, do so in small steps in a controlled environment with safety and precautions. After all, if you don't know what the nature of the danger is, it is unpredicable and potentially deadly, once you understand its mechanics and what it is fundamentally, you can assess its behavior and make aware informed risks based on your best reasoning ability. Consensus is not evil but it is biased, you can use it as the first step, it is what you're accustomed to, what kept you safe until now, but now you're ready to take in more of reality, to learn, make your own decisions, expand your paradigm and take responsibility, evolving your understanding and part taking in creating a better consensus. You are the unknown, you are the alien, everything can only exist inside of yourself, don't be afraid. But you have put yourself in this human form for a reason, so love it and love reality as it is, explore yourself as much as you can, and be as loving as you can possibly be. Don't get lost in egoic non-duality desiring, everything you desire you can be instead, don't tell others to be a certain way, exchange understanding or point them to contemplation instead. You are still a human, you can troll or have humor, you can mess around and have fun, that's love, it's all love. But you know, if you want something, there are many strategies to get there. And if you only want people to awaken as fast as possible, look at who they are and what would get you there if you were them, and if that's the best and most loving way to get them into love or if it will only spawn a cycle of suffering and confusion. That's part of reality too, necessary to appreciate it, but there's diminishing returns at some point. You have the power to do anything you want to change yourself and others and the perception of realty. Being in tune with yourself is a beautiful way to be.

[RickyFitts]

It's asking too much of people to expect them to read a giant wall of text like that, you need to have some consideration for the reader and break it down into digestible paragraphs.

[Keryo Koffa]

@RickyFitts You are absolutely right, this is a stream of consciousness that I wrote when I woke up at 3AM and had to go through and write for 5 hours straight parallel to thinking it. I guess if someone likes reading organic, stream of consciousness kind of reports, it might be fun to align oneself with my thinking pattern to observe not just the information, but also how I process it. But yes, the insights can be concised. Yet understanding is something one has to snap into. As I did, after I reflected and tied it all to physical manifestation a few hours later. I can turn it all into symbols and make a neat diagram, and that would be a great map and supplement, and for some it might suffice. But I think this unique rant (also labelled as such) can come in handy for people who want to get into the guts of it, just like the hours long videos Leo makes. After years of contemplation, one can abstract a two hour video of Leo into a singular symbol or a diagram of four and their relations. But you have to flow through it to pick up the patterns and I think this, uniquely long and unorganized as it is, might fulfill that role.

[Keryo Koffa]

@Squeekytoy Thank you

[Breakingthewall]

The ego is a living entity connected to the collective ego by the word, which, having freed itself from the bondage of matter, evolves at a crazy speed, never seen even a millionth since life on earth existed. We are the servants of the ego, we are here to contribute our processing power to the collective ego of monstrous proportions. We are parts, batteries like those of the matrix in their tubes, ants in a hive, our individual life is irrelevant, we are parts, servants of the new collective immaterial being of enormous power, the cloud of the sum of all human minds, which results in one direction or another driven by primordial currents, which gives shape to the unlimited intelligence that reality has.

What is the limit of this being? maybe it doesn't have it. We, as individuals, have the need to disconnect from the hive at certain moments and realize the general panorama, the substance without content, the living reality that is, open ourselves to it and leave the arid desert of the ego, absorbing, vampiric, necessary, and bathe ourselves in the divine light of the primordial and immutable being. then return to work, to the duty of the soldier, and do it with joy and fun, without fear, like a game.

 

[Princess Arabia]

Beautiful. Yes, it could have been in paragraphs, but the message was received just the same. 

[RickyFitts]

@Keryo Koffa I hear you. Don't mind me, I'm just feeling a bit cranky at the moment.