I am in literal hell

[Sugarcoat]

1 minute ago, Yimpa said:

See reality how you uniquely see it, not how others have conditioned you to see it.

That is exactly what I’m doing

[Yimpa]

Here is the literal hell. (Unironically posting this while I’m eating breakfast):

 

[Davino]

It reminds me to U. G. Krishnamurti.

I recommend you to try martial arts, it will ground you very quickly. This is just a grounding problem honestly, try dancing if you feel more femenine about it. Reconnect with your body, the trascendental must meet the inmanent otherwise is just an eternal slipping away.

Also consider that you are scared because you are falling, but the problem is not falling, but thinkingt you will hit the ground. I assure you, there is no ground, it's infinite, relax fully and surrender to it, then all will be alright.

 

I also wanted to crack a joke about the workout but after considering it. I thought it wouldn't be polite.

But I can't resist myself, if you keep working out at this level you are gonna end up like him:

[BlueOak]

Lots of clean Water. 
Nature, go sit on the grass, barefoot if possible, even better near a river.
Acceptance.

These things will help.

People do go through it and experience it in different ways, all through their life. You dissolved some ego and it gave you a glimpse that the totality of your existence isn't as fixed as you thought. You get to more shape who/what you/reality is.

There are people out there with your realised spiritual gifts, and others, there used to be a lot of places to meet them online, now you'd have to search. Most of them were repelled when spirituality shifted to be more encompassing.

If you don't accept reality for what it now is. A survival experience will shock you back to reality. You are still here - you never leave anywhere, you are all that exists. One day those spiritual experiences might bore you, and someone answering the phone or waving at you will be not much different, just not stick in your mind as much to remember. They are useful to highlight something, all this is a projection of the mutli dimensional (Many You's) mind/body/spirit anyway. The dog barking or being out of body is the same sort of thing.

And now you get why resistance is beneficial too, not just for weightlifting. Not many know why I say that, you do. Weightlifters probably understand it, generally speaking, it's good preparation work to understand resistance. You might also understand now why someone clings to trauma or pain a bit more. Some of us need it, because without any of it, what is there to push against or train with?  Without any suffering or external/internal pressure, external forces, any need, any demand, whatsoever there'd be nothing left to shape form, function, or a reason for doing anything. There would just be a literal void, everything is held in place by something.

You are now getting to choose more of what holds you together. Make it a good choice.

Edited December 7, 2023 by BlueOak

[Yimpa]

8 minutes ago, BlueOak said:

And now you get why resistance is beneficial too, not just for weightlifting. Not many know why I say that, you do. Weightlifters probably understand it, generally speaking, it's good preparation work to understand resistance. You might also understand now why someone clings to trauma or pain a bit more. Some of us need it, because without any of it, what is there to push against or train with?  Without any suffering or external/internal pressure, external forces, any need, any demand, whatsoever there'd be nothing left to shape form, function, or a reason for doing anything. There would just be a literal void, everything is held in place by something.

Beautiful recontextualization of what I’ve been struggling with for a very long time, thank you. I didn’t connect how resistance can be viewed as both internal and external!  

[Yimpa]

41 minutes ago, Davino said:

But I can't resist myself, if you keep working out at this level you are gonna end up like him:

Or this:
 

 

[Sugarcoat]

45 minutes ago, Davino said:

It reminds me to U. G. Krishnamurti.

I recommend you to try martial arts, it will ground you very quickly. This is just a grounding problem honestly, try dancing if you feel more femenine about it. Reconnect with your body, the trascendental must meet the inmanent otherwise is just an eternal slipping away.

Also consider that you are scared because you are falling, but the problem is not falling, but thinkingt you will hit the ground. I assure you, there is no ground, it's infinite, relax fully and surrender to it, then all will be alright.

 

I also wanted to crack a joke about the workout but after considering it. I thought it wouldn't be polite.

But I can't resist myself, if you keep working out at this level you are gonna end up like him:

 

surrender is not possible because when the sense of self weakens it doesn’t feel like I am the one driving my actions 

[Sugarcoat]

30 minutes ago, BlueOak said:

Lots of clean Water. 
Nature, go sit on the grass, barefoot if possible, even better near a river.
Acceptance.

These things will help.

People do go through it and experience it in different ways, all through their life. You dissolved some ego and it gave you a glimpse that the totality of your existence isn't as fixed as you thought. You get to more shape who/what you/reality is.

There are people out there with your realised spiritual gifts, and others, there used to be a lot of places to meet them online, now you'd have to search. Most of them were repelled when spirituality shifted to be more encompassing.

If you don't accept reality for what it now is. A survival experience will shock you back to reality. You are still here - you never leave anywhere, you are all that exists. One day those spiritual experiences might bore you, and someone answering the phone or waving at you will be not much different, just not stick in your mind as much to remember. They are useful to highlight something, all this is a projection of the mutli dimensional (Many You's) mind/body/spirit anyway. The dog barking or being out of body is the same sort of thing.

And now you get why resistance is beneficial too, not just for weightlifting. Not many know why I say that, you do. Weightlifters probably understand it, generally speaking, it's good preparation work to understand resistance. You might also understand now why someone clings to trauma or pain a bit more. Some of us need it, because without any of it, what is there to push against or train with?  Without any suffering or external/internal pressure, external forces, any need, any demand, whatsoever there'd be nothing left to shape form, function, or a reason for doing anything. There would just be a literal void, everything is held in place by something.

You are now getting to choose more of what holds you together. Make it a good choice.

So as I said before the sense of choice appears when the sense of self strengthens. All these workout things didn’t feel like I did them it’s more something else that drives me . In this very moment I feel fine but I know it will last short and I’ll slip down again and something else takes me over once again back in the cycle

[Yimpa]

You are your own teacher, taking shape in the form of all others. How you perceive others is how you perceive yourself. 

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, Yimpa said:

You are your own teacher, taking shape in the form of all others. How you perceive others is how you perceive yourself. 

Yea

[Schizophonia]

5 hours ago, itsadistraction said:

Did you do 5 Meo? Too bad your unique experience doesn't feel ecstatic.... It would be awesome if it did. Hope you get better soon!

5 MeO is a powdered nightmare.
 

 

[Exystem]

Maybe there is a strange psychological disorder at play, just guessing...

Like this one for example:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cotard's_syndrome

The other guess would be you're kind of stuck in a bardo-state.

Obviously you're suffering and I am feeling sorry for you, I hope you get well soon!

In case you intuit there is a stuckness as far as a not-fully-processed awakening so to speak, if it feels like there's something missing, this can't be it, I recommend to you Emerson nonduality, search him on YouTube or better book a one-on-one, he is the guy to resolve all your stuckness, he knows what he's talking about and he's familiar with your 2D stuff as far as I can tell. But he's the endboss, if you wanna maintain a realer sense of self he's definitely not the guy, he would just push you over the line so there are no more stories and no one left suffering. He's the stop sign on your so called spiritual Path.

Wish u the best!

[Carl-Richard]

Learn to tighten the left side of your abdomen perpetually every hour of the day, in a way that is uncomfortable but not unbearable. Sit, walk and stand with a sub-optimal posture (slightly crouched over), eat big meals and over-eat slightly (not junk food though, real food). Constantly distract yourself with something (your phone, computer, etc.).

Edited December 7, 2023 by Carl-Richard

[BlueOak]

53 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

So as I said before the sense of choice appears when the sense of self strengthens. All these workout things didn’t feel like I did them it’s more something else that drives me . In this very moment I feel fine but I know it will last short and I’ll slip down again and something else takes me over once again back in the cycle

It sounds to me like you can observe being driven right? Whatever impulse you are observing. You are aware that isn't the entirety of you either.

There is nothing but you. Observation of an experience is all that exists, and if you are observing it you are watching/feeling/sensing it happen. There is nowhere to slip. Nowhere to go. You've got some distance from the self identity. Breathe, and take it slow. Nobody else is going to move your body for you. I guarantee you that much. You might just feel or sense that this impulse is not what you want to be anymore, or want to do. It might be a sense of why am I doing this? Happening. So don't, choose not to for a while, or choose to. Whenever you feel not in control, reassert control or make a choice to go with it.

Have you tried what I suggested? Sitting near a river in nature? Drinking a healthy dose of water? Really simple things. Taking it very slow and letting whatever is happening just happen at a steady pace. Water and nature are incredibly grounding, electronics and stimulation are the opposite.

It could be what others have suggested, a psychological development, but as you are prone to spiritual experience my first guess would be what I am typing.

 

Edited December 7, 2023 by BlueOak

[Schizophonia]

@Sugarcoat Try a few grams of feclonine or tens of micrograms of LSD. That's not spiritual, it's rationalizing by reversing cause and consequence.

Trust me.

Edited December 7, 2023 by Schizophonia

[VeganAwake]

@Sugarcoat Hi there,

That all sounds totally normal regarding awakening. It can feel like this for sometime, but it will fade or deflate eventually. 

 As for that needy"sense of self", it will probably continue to dissolve but not from spiritual practice. It will probably dissolve on its own under the weight of recognizing it's not real!!!

❤️ 

[Schizophonia]

 

[Sugarcoat]

48 minutes ago, Exystem said:

Maybe there is a strange psychological disorder at play, just guessing...

Like this one for example:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cotard's_syndrome

The other guess would be you're kind of stuck in a bardo-state.

Obviously you're suffering and I am feeling sorry for you, I hope you get well soon!

In case you intuit there is a stuckness as far as a not-fully-processed awakening so to speak, if it feels like there's something missing, this can't be it, I recommend to you Emerson nonduality, search him on YouTube or better book a one-on-one, he is the guy to resolve all your stuckness, he knows what he's talking about and he's familiar with your 2D stuff as far as I can tell. But he's the endboss, if you wanna maintain a realer sense of self he's definitely not the guy, he would just push you over the line so there are no more stories and no one left suffering. He's the stop sign on your so called spiritual Path.

Wish u the best!

So I am familiar with non dual stuff

so basically nothing from the outside has any effect on what I’m going through because I function fully from the inside so nothing outside changes anything 

the reason I’m able to have this convo and not be absolutely gone now is because I have tiny little self from yesterday but I know it will sink soon and whatever happens then I cannot know until

well it is neurological in the way that it’s like a permanent almost total wipeout but it’s not disorder in that way

[Sugarcoat]

13 minutes ago, VeganAwake said:

@Sugarcoat Hi there,

That all sounds totally normal regarding awakening. It can feel like this for sometime, but it will fade or deflate eventually. 

 As for that needy"sense of self", it will probably continue to dissolve but not from spiritual practice. It will probably dissolve on its own under the weight of recognizing it's not real!!!

❤️ 

Here it works differently . Very differently. 

So as I said before, the weaker the self the less choice so something moves me to do something, trying to maintain itself, continuous cycle. Very odd I know. I don’t understand it myself. It doesn’t make sense . I cannot possibly phantom what I am in

[Sugarcoat]

40 minutes ago, BlueOak said:

It sounds to me like you can observe being driven right? Whatever impulse you are observing. You are aware that isn't the entirety of you either.

There is nothing but you. Observation of an experience is all that exists, and if you are observing it you are watching/feeling/sensing it happen. There is nowhere to slip. Nowhere to go. You've got some distance from the self identity. Breathe, and take it slow. Nobody else is going to move your body for you. I guarantee you that much. You might just feel or sense that this impulse is not what you want to be anymore, or want to do. It might be a sense of why am I doing this? Happening. So don't, choose not to for a while, or choose to. Whenever you feel not in control, reassert control or make a choice to go with it.

Have you tried what I suggested? Sitting near a river in nature? Drinking a healthy dose of water? Really simple things. Taking it very slow and letting whatever is happening just happen at a steady pace. Water and nature are incredibly grounding, electronics and stimulation are the opposite.

It could be what others have suggested, a psychological development, but as you are prone to spiritual experience my first guess would be what I am typing.

 

it’s more direct than observation it’s literally me. No distance. directly experiencing it . Can’t describe really. As I’m sitting here I know this little tiny presence will slip again, and whatever will happen then I cannot know until. In that place I don’t have choice in that way. Sounds crazy , it is even crazier than it sounds