In dating and Relationships what makes a quality guy?

[Thought Art]

I am curious as to what you think makes a quality guy in relationships. Ideally, a straight relationship for this thread. 
 

3 ideas from me are:

1. He has good character and Integrity 

2. He is generous 

3. He is good company and enjoyable to spend time with

Curious as to what you think!

 

Don’t

1. Be jealous

2. Be whiny and Petty

 

Edited December 7, 2023 by Thought Art

[Yimpa]

1. Authenticity

2. Emotional flexibility

3. Assertiveness 

[Yimpa]

3 hours ago, Thought Art said:

Don’t

1. Be jealous

2. Be whiny and Petty

The litmus test of a strong relationship is if you both have expressed those, yet have matured and evolved from them.

[Thought Art]

@Yimpa I think thats true.

I guess, we can add the ability to work through things, practice difficult conversations, conscious communication, and the ability to self reflect.

I think a good guy in dating is also a leader. He knows how to be masculine and lead. He has a healthy integrated masculinity. 

[Yimpa]

@Thought Art I’m still waiting on Leo to release his conscious communication episode. 

Full disclosure, though, I would never want to date Leo. 

[NoSelfSelf]

Being different and creative, if she can acess you in every guy then you are not the quality you are just another guy,but ofcourse to be different you should completely be going your own way(im not talking about mgtow 😅).

Edited December 7, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[Javfly33]

Whatever the femenine is attracted in that particular moment 

I also would add, he pays movie tickets with popcorn included, and the cab care for the girl to come back home

[numbersinarow]

11 hours ago, Thought Art said:

Don’t

1. Be jealous

2. Be whiny and Petty

 

But I'm just trying to copy men who get laid!

Okay so what do we know about the winners of the system in a deterministic prison planet?

1. Impulsive.

2. Bald, fat, unintelligent.

3. Pre-societal.

4. Have opportunities beyond your imagination.

5. Have women validating them without having to be in a relationship with them.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Javfly33 That opposite of quality that's the worst, you looking to fit in her ways withtout any connection established is low quality by default,what makes you low quality is you looking to please to get laid..

[Yimpa]

4 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

I also would add, he pays movie tickets with popcorn included, and the cab care for the girl to come back home

I once dated a girl who was so into me that she paid for all of our dates. She would even take the bus to see me almost every day. I didn’t even ask her to do any of that, she just did it on her own accord.

I was too immature and stupid at the time to see how much she cared about me. Treating a girl with respect requires you to be aware of the little things that she does for you, because those little things are in fact actually very big. 

[Javfly33]

2 hours ago, Yimpa said:

I once dated a girl who was so into me that she paid for all of our dates. She would even take the bus to see me almost every day. I didn’t even ask her to do any of that, she just did it on her own accord.

 

Damn 

[Yimpa]

What makes every guy fail in relationships is his inability to be vulnerable and accepting of  womanly love 

[Thought Art]

8 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

Whatever the femenine is attracted in that particular moment 

I also would add, he pays movie tickets with popcorn included, and the cab care for the girl to come back home

Nope not on first date. If me spending money on you, without me knowing you is an important criteria for us dating I will not date you. 
 

I am happy to buy popcorn and tickets. The ride home… that to me is a new concept. Perhaps the more I talk about it the more it makes sense to me. But… also, it’s weird.
 

You are totally fine to not like that aspect of me, but that’s fine. I don’t care and I’m not here to please you. 
 

I am a great guy, but I’m not investing 100+ dollars into every first date. 
 

We go for coffee, tea, or even dinner I’ll pay, but… I am not going to pay for you going home. At least, for now. 
 

First date, I’m looking to spend 20 dollars, there’s little investment between us both and we see if we are compatible. 
 

I don’t really want to date a high maintenance and expensive girl. Some guys will, but I’m not looking for that right now.

Future dates, yeah I’d help you get home. We have a relationship developing. First date, nope. 
 

Note: I admit this recent date when this girl asked me to buy her an Uber took me by surprise and really turned me off. I don’t have a lot of dating experience as an adult which is important to state. Most of my dating comes from high school and early years of university. So… I’m growing and adjusting through experience and self reflection.

Edited December 7, 2023 by Thought Art

[Princess Arabia]

3 hours ago, Yimpa said:

I was too immature and stupid at the time to see how much she cared about me. Treating a girl with respect requires you to be aware of the little things that she does for you, because those little things are in fact actually very big. 

Some men don't understand this. Men love differently than women in most cases. 

[Thought Art]

@Yimpa I once had a great girlfriend who in retrospect could have been a great life partner. But, I… at the same time she did great things… cooked, was smart, was very kind to me, loved spending time with me.

But, I just didn’t want it. So, it’s okay to let things go if it’s not right even if they have many great traits.

[Thought Art]

@Javfly33 I am starting to loosen up on this money thing the more I think and talk about it. 

Edited December 7, 2023 by Thought Art

[Princess Arabia]

10 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

I am not going to pay for you going home

That's a selfish act. What you're actually saying is, time spent with ME is worth me paying, but time spent apart is not. You're just looking out for your best interest not hers. 

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

But, I just didn’t want it

Because men don't see value in a woman that gives too freely if he doesn't feel worthy of it. When you have to work for her love, you appreciate it more, as a man.

[Thought Art]

@Princess Arabia
 

There is definitely some kind of asymmetry in our culture between the expectations of a man and a woman. Even though, this woman earns more than me… I have to pay for the date and her getting home. But, I don’t pay for her ride to the date for some reason. 
 

These boundaries and expectations are completely arbitrary. 
 

That was the first time a woman asked me to pay for her Uber home. 
 

I guess, because I am instigating the date, asking her to go, and because I am man I can pay for her to get home. I can see that. 
 

But, honestly I don’t have a lot of money but I’m gonna keep going on dates and I’m going to be upfront about my expectations before hand. 
 

In the future, when I can afford it I’ll pay for dates fully. I can’t afford it right now, but I’m not gonna wallow in loneliness.

As I talk, and reflect I can see the value of being generous to my woman. If she is going to be my girl… and even if she isn’t I can support her getting home safely. She would also feel good that I did it. 

Edited December 7, 2023 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

6 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Because men don't see value in a woman that gives too freely if he doesn't feel worthy of it. When you have to work for her love, you appreciate it more, as a man.

I was 20, and wanted to have sex with more people on campus.