Being black pilled reduces dating anxiety (?)

[k-ahmadzadeh]

Greetings! 

It seems to me that being black pilled may reduce dating anxiety (including approach anxiety and fear of rejection). By the term black pill, I don't mean misogynistic ideology, but a theory that explains attraction through structural matters (physical health, certain thresholds of beauty, average level of intelligence, and social skills) rather than mind games. These elements are the main pillars of men's attractiveness. I don't say that only 8/10+ men can get girlfriends, but a slightly above-average level of healthiness (physical and psychological) is required.

If this is the case, there is no need to fear having dating anxiety. If you go beyond a certain healthiness threshold, then you will be able to find a girlfriend, even if you show signs of anxiety to the girl or make 'mistakes' according to PUA theory. My argument is that if the girl is really into you, then you will manage to create emotional intimacy with her. If she is not, then you can continue your search for a partner.

On the other hand, by reducing the attraction to mind and behavioural games, PUA staff increases performance anxiety and creates obsessions in men. I'd been trapped in this thinking before, but fortunately, I managed to completely unlearn PUA theory. Now, I aim to increase my physical attractiveness and other structural qualities. Given the fact that most successful men didn't read even one page about the theory of the attraction of women, we can argue that structural qualities or a general level of good health are enough.

There is no need to become a pick-up artist if it is not suitable for your personality or damages your mental health.

Additionally, I would say that dating fears and inferiority feelings partly come from the awareness that the girl with whom one interacts has more market value than one's. Therefore, the optimal strategy for an average-looking man would include maximising physical appearance and socialising more. After initial success, it will probably increase one's self-confidence, and ultimately, dating anxiety will disappear.

After that, whether you are a bad boy or a nice guy, there is no big difference. You will gain success. I've seen women with 'bad boys' and with 'nice guys' as well. Every personality type will find its match in the dating market. Reaching slightly above average looks/health will benefit average men a lot. Of course, one will not attract every hot girls, but it will be possible to find cute girlfriend. 

So, I argue that there is no need to play mind games. 'Be your best self' and wait for what life will bestow you.

I would be happy to see your opinions and criticisms.

Bests

[Thought Art]

How much pick up/ dating have you done? Out of Curiosity 

Edited December 6, 2023 by Thought Art

[nhoktinvt]

what actually reduces your anxiety is detachment from outcome 
for example your want your outcome to be (insert outcome) but if you want it to happen very much..,it'll be very weird, unatural and conflict-inducing (im sure you know ppl like this)

Edited December 6, 2023 by nhoktinvt

[numbersinarow]

Knowing that you can get laid with zero game can help, or it can not. But either way it will help since you will know that if a girl doesn't want you, she will not change her mind, because the decision and the first impression are what matter.

[actuallyenlightened]

You're not getting away from mind games anytime soon. Approach anxiety itself is based on mind games. 

PUA fundamentally provides you with a theoretical understanding and a roadmap on an interaction with a woman. Not studying it will get you lost in the forest; not recognizing patterns and opportunities as they arise. That will give you above average results nonetheless.

For amazing results you would need to flawlessly implement these teachings, which requires solid inner game - so little to no approach anxiety, better yet excitement - and experience having fixed extremely suboptimal game that everyone starts with. That would already put you in the top 1%. If you want to go on and become world-class you'll need to take the art(ist) in PUA seriously and start innovating, making your game a unique expression. At that point your approaches should become elegant and aesthetically pleasing to an observer.