She said: "my money is my money. Your money is our money."

[Thought Art]

@ivankiss It’s okay. You guys being critical of us is part of the intelligence behind improving the forum. 
 

We will not likely make everyone happy. 
 

It’s also important to have proper expectations of a forum. It’s a casual place, not a temple

[ivankiss]

Just now, Thought Art said:

It’s a casual place, not a temple

Yes. A casual place where some people come to figure out their life and existence as a whole. If not careful, one can easily fuck themselves up here. Like, seriously fuck themselves up. Simply by buying into shit people have to say, taking advice they shouldn't be taking, following people they shouldn't be following, etc.

[Thought Art]

@ivankiss Such is the internet. Such is earth. 

Personal development and spirituality is very dangerous. People should be very careful here and anywhere else. 
 

But, overall the conversations here seem to be decent. Relatively.

It’s in the guidelines that nothing that is said here is to be taken as authority. You need to think for yourself, and take Responsibility for your life at the end of the day. 

Edited December 6, 2023 by Thought Art

[ivankiss]

8 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

@ivankiss Such is the internet. Such is earth. 

Personal development and spirituality is very dangerous. People should be very careful here and anywhere else. 
 

But, overall the conversations here seem to be decent. Relatively.

It’s in the guidelines that nothing that is said here is to be taken as authority. You need to think for yourself, and take Responsibility for your life at the end of the day. 

Yes, it's just that many are not capable of that. It's much easier for them to put someone on the pedestal and blindly follow them. 

I think for myself. I don't buy into just any nonsense. I've had my insights and realizations all that biz. All of it valid and real. Yet I still have a hard time navigating these waters at times. It's not an easy thing to do.

This environment has always been a bit more toxic than it should. There are forums that are much more pure - so to speak. But perhaps those places are not as exciting. I like this forum, overall. But boy did I fall into a few nasty traps over the years here.

[Thought Art]

@ivankiss I fell into traps myself. Though, admittedly my own doing. 
 

When you step into the dark, you’re likely to trip until your eyes adjust to the light. Then you learn to walk with your head held high. 
 

“Growing up in some strange storm, nobodies cold nobodies warm. 
 

I went out into the night, I went out to find some light

Shadows jumping all over the wall some of them big, some of them small

I went out into the night

I went out to pick a fight with anyone!!”

The forum has toxicity, actually because it’s a personal development forum ironically. We are still immature largely and yes, we live in a toxic culture. 
 

“When the power is out in the heart of man take it from your heart

PUT IT IN HOUR HAND!!!”

Edited December 6, 2023 by Thought Art

[AerisVahnEphelia]

though I blamed the fact you got no "game/flirt" going on, basicly my chad friend was completely retarded when it it was to filter girls and "game" them via others means than looking fancy.
And he wasn't having the best girl from my perspectives, because the good ones must be at least a short fight, if it's too easy, it's usually a trap.

because basicly you're geneticly boosted so so..

As I m a niche product, I've it both, sometimes girls are just fancy of me for absolutely no reason and keep telling me I m beautiful, others I need to put more jokes and "play", or just not their type at all.

I still think you pick "low values" girls, and probably also pick too much on physics or superficial traits. ( doesn't mean they are bad persons )

And I m not blaming it, just trying to be autist about it, you have to go above the need for easy sex if you want something else than sex.

You shall go for the golden souls, and if a girl just go for you, cause wow this will look fancy on my insta, you must run absolutely.

 

You need to be hunting for something, if it's too hard, pass, but if it's too easy, also pass.

Also I suspect you also take very high profil girls ( in the materialistic sense )  that are a pain in the ass, but not judging again, just babbling.

Those girls also didn't need to produce anything of their own, they get life served on a plate, so why would they behave in a manner different than just waiting the plate.

Edited December 6, 2023 by AerisVahnEphelia

[_Archangel_]

@ivankiss I would humbly suggest that there might be a problem communication here, aswell as a negative contrast in personal values(as you say).

if i'm undersanding correctly, it seems that she would like to be somewhat indipendent by using your money and assets, aswell as hers, but she is not willing to share. And that's problematic indipendently of the different worldviews you two might have.

I think you should be clear as soon as possoble wether you are ok with that or not, and if you're not, you gotta discover if that's really what she wants her relationship to be like, so that you can draw conclusions: sever, copromise or make her reason.





 

[meta_male]

53 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

I'm often extremely idealistic too.

54 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

I'm well aware that this is just my subjective experience and opinions.

29 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

It's much easier for them to put someone on the pedestal and blindly follow them.

@ivankiss Totally off topic but I'm curious: is your MBTI type INFP (if you've ever done a test)?

 

[ivankiss]

@AerisVahnEphelia You are kind of right about a few things, but also no, not really. I have plenty "game". I'm not just a dumb good looking guy. There's a lot of those out there, yes. Not one of them. 

I have a life - long mission that I am extremely committed to. I put 20+ years of work into developing a skill. Girls are attracted to that. I can make girls laugh so hard they cannot breathe. I can also make them feel all kinds of other (good and bad) emotions that most of them never felt before in their lives. I am confident, I know what I want and I'm working hard to get there. And that's attractive.

The girl I am dating at the moment is arguably the highest quality woman I've been with so far. She travelled a lot, lived in different parts of the world, worked all kinds of interesting jobs, has connections everywhere, etc. Currently she's studying political science. She cooks amazing, etc.

She's not a super model, and if I was going just for the looks... I could probably do better. I am obviously looking for more than that. Also, more than just good sex and fun times. 

I do settle for less often, won't deny it. And that has to do with my insecurities and shortcomings. But I am far from you everyday, party hard and pick up chicks kind of a chad. I am the complete opposite in that sense. I stay home most of the times and do my shit.

@_Archangel_ Yes, good point. It's not like we did not talk about it up until now, numerous times. We do talk a lot about our issues. Sometimes it seems like it's all that we do. It's just that things usually get super heated and emotional and we burn out. We do not move past things, rather just surrender to how things are.

Definitely some major differences that we may or may not find a way to work through.

[ivankiss]

4 minutes ago, meta_male said:

@ivankiss Totally off topic but I'm curious: is your MBTI type INFP (if you've ever done a test)?

 

INFJ

[Princess Arabia]

53 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

Yes. A casual place where some people come to figure out their life and existence as a whole. If not careful, one can easily fuck themselves up here. Like, seriously fuck themselves up. Simply by buying into shit people have to say, taking advice they shouldn't be taking, following people they shouldn't be following, etc.

This is happening as we speak in normal day-to-day experiences in the so-called "real world". There's no difference. This statement you made here should be taken whether internet or "outside world". This is just an extension. In fact, I think this is a bit safer because one doesn't usually view it as real as their own physical experiences. Which is a mistake. But psychologically speaking, the outside world and how we interact with people and the advice we follow can be more devastating if not taken wisely and adhered to with caution, since it's deemed more real.

[Francis777]

3 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Francis777 You mean the one where you said "real man is one that is not scared to take finger up his ass" i guess thats normal in your world not here...

its called a joke, and still held relevance to the topic. Learn discernment before you "moderate".

[Princess Arabia]

8 hours ago, ivankiss said:

Only thing is, I do not view women as soulless objects and I do not go through them like changing a pair of socks. I'm not buying a new car. We are talking about a human being that has positive and negative sides, different values and beliefs, past experiences, etc. We are talking about a girl that I live with. I obviously got attached and fell in love with her. I'm not a rock. I do develop feelings, and that's only natural. Relationships are not a commodity to me. I obviously see a bit deeper meaning in having a relationship.

I believe in fighting for something that seems worth the fight. Instead of just cowardly running away when things get a bit heated. 

The line must be drawn somewhere, for sure. But I'd say we're not there just yet.

This is why we don't listen to advices about getting rid of someone, go find another, drop her, why work yourself up there are other fishes in the ocean etcetc. Easily said than done when it's not you in the driver's seat. This right here, for me, and in my opinion, is commendable and will take you farther in learning about yourself and your mate and shows you don't give up easily in anything you do because how we do one thing is how we do everything. Kudos.

[meta_male]

14 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

INFJ

Then all hope is not lost  

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, Francis777 said:

its called a joke, and still held relevance to the topic. Learn discernment before you "moderate".

Lots of people lack discernment in our own lives and can't even moderate that, which matters more than a forum. Learning discernment isn't required to moderate a forum as much. Following rules is sometimes all that is required which most of them refer back to from time to time instead of using discernment.

[Princess Arabia]

15 minutes ago, Francis777 said:

hmm not sure on this take, i'd argue that discernment is the absolute quality you search for in a moderator, applying the rules comes second to that.

Dictionary terms says "the ability to judge well". What else would you look for in a moderator besides that.

edit: oh my bad, there goes my own lack of discernment, yes I get what you mean. A forum can get by on more "bot" like moderators.

I get what you're saying, but do you realize how much energy that would take for constant use of discernment on so many posts and different personalities. This is a casual forum. So, to me, some discernment is necessary, but it's much easier to just go by the rules as a general strategy than to go learn discernment, as you suggested to be a moderator. Just responding to your "learn discernment before you moderate" comment, not if discernment is necessary or not, because it is. 

Plus how do you screen one for discernment qualities when making the choice for moderator. Not easy.

Edited December 6, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[AerisVahnEphelia]

@ivankiss yeh sure I've no depth on your life and relationships, just saying it's usual trap with "chad type", but obviously you could be having great "game" and being filled in many areas and not get any of the usual " chad problem ".
 
You could be a master in many areas and still not be one in others.

Just basics points, take what's good, discard the rest and forgive the tiny frequency spectrum I've been bestowed.

 

 

Edited December 6, 2023 by AerisVahnEphelia

[Princess Arabia]

7 minutes ago, Francis777 said:

yeah, I don't think there's much to be said here. I just meant by my comment that he either has an extreme lack of discernment which makes me wonder why he's moderator or he was doing it just because he can. I'm sure its the latter, he didn't just give me 1 warning point either it was 2, for a comment like that? Utterly ridiculous.

Oh, you're the subject in question. Ok, biases will emerge. Subjective opinions and personal feelings of judgements. No sense in speaking of objectivity in this case because it's personal. Now, trying to see from the other side's perspective will be marred and fogged. Like you said, not much to be said.

Edited December 6, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Thought Art]

Most (all) mods have a higher degree of discernment, or at least a degree of discernment enough they can be a mod. Though, mods are not intended to be perfect. 
 

Actually, I find the hardest thing in being a mod is when taking action to moderate. I am still developing my discernment in this regard. 
 

What is the ideal role mode for the forum? 
 

What is enjoying the forum for me?

What is the correct way to discipline/ moderate people going against the guidelines?

Leo has things written, but also he expects us to use our discernment. It’s not easy.

Edited December 6, 2023 by Thought Art

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, Francis777 said:

do you think I deserved 2 points for that, I'm curious on your take. The topic was what is a real man and I expressed my point in the form of a joke in that most men do mind a finger up their ass because the stigma of it being homosexual, so being okay with it takes vulnerable which is the mark of a real man. 

This is why I said he lacked discernment because I'm assuming he didn't get why I said it other than to troll and as such made a harsh call, I did explain it to him but he didn't reply.

(im over it btw haha, just giving my view)

Be careful of those "ass" jokes. They'll come back to bite you in the.....where? You got it. Lol