Relationships and enlightenment

[Naizis]

Should i let go of my boyfriend to reach enlightenment?, because we are long distance relationship, and he's enlightened so it doesn't affect him much as it does for me, because I'm still an ego, we've been dating for a year and more (months) , we didn't meet in real life til now ( due to some job and studies circumstances, maybe the universe didn't want us to meet) , and i want him around,I want his presence, and even if emotions are evil i still want him to comfort me emotionally (I don't know,I can't help it 🙄 excuse me I'm not enlightened yet), and we are on a 9 or so year difference, another thing is that i have anxious attachment issues, I still haven't faced being lonely again ( because in childhood i was always alone, maybe i was and still a little bit autistic, I chose it because I'm overly sensitive and understand people's bad intentions and their hypocrisy, I was overly rude before because i couldn't lie ), we both value marriage and that was the plan at first, but our families have different religions, and he's so far away so both couldn't meet, i also didn't want to lie to myself and stop my studies,I wanted to know the truth,I also have adhd so excuse me for this messy paragraph 😅, I know you'll tell me that i should figure things on my own but i think it'll be nice to have some help or advice, hope i won't face judgments because I'm really stuck , I take this matter seriously. ( I also know that spending time on the phone waiting anxiously for his messages isn't too wise).

Edited December 2, 2023 by Naizis

[Yimpa]

How enlightened is he? 

[PurpleTree]

What does he say about it, since he’s enlightened?

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tEogFzFQew

 

[ivankiss]

I am also enlightened and have an un-enlightened girlfriend.

I am also deluded. 

[Yimpa]

A relationship is enlightened when you literally merge with your significant other. Physically, spiritually, and beyond. You no longer need to hold onto an idea you have about them, because they are you.

[Yimpa]

A therapist once asked me if I am seeking love out of curiosity or longing. I told them both.

We want to have a taste of our significant other, yet we also want to merge with them. It can go both ways; one is not necessarily better than the other. 

Duality dancing with non-duality merging with unity into harmonious love.

[Naizis]

@Raze so you are saying these are all just thoughts ,right?

[Naizis]

@ivankiss huh 🤨

[Naizis]

@Yimpa hhmm 🤔💭

[Naizis]

@PurpleTree he wants marriage, just as i do, and he's teaching me a lot about enlightenment, I'm trying to grasp it better as time goes by, but i think i will have more clarity after one year or two of practice.

[Naizis]

@Yimpa I think he's on the level 600 I'm on the level 200(as he told me).

[Miguel1]

What is this 

[SeaMonster]

6 hours ago, Naizis said:

@Yimpa I think he's on the level 600 I'm on the level 200(as he told me).

If you are interested in enlightenment, you are almost certainly in the upper 500s.  Most people even in the 400s aren't interested in enlightenment, it's not on their radar.  Both of my parents are typical 400s people.

(I see a lot that I find funny.  People take the Hawkins Scale and look at a person and go, "ah, he's exhibiting negative emotions, he must be in the 100s/200s." That's not how it works at all; The Hawkins Scale is kind of the center of gravity for an individual, not any particular outpouring of emotion.)

He's not "enlightened"; he is stage 1 awakened.  600s is where there is no longer a "center point" personal self, it's like a localized spaciousness or witness experience.  This witnessing is taken as the substitute subject.  This is just sort of getting the ball rolling where at the end of the process there are no substitute subjects, no doer, etc.

Let me let you in on a little secret: even a guy at 1000 would have a ton of work to do, so don't place him on a pedestal.  Shadow work seriously only begins at 1000.  You have to completely dissolve the "subject" which identifies with the ego personality roles in order not to be threatened by your shadow parts and begin to really work out how to integrate them.

It is not easy.  Personality habits are a tough nut to crack.  Enlightenment isn't your personal rapture, it just ends one problem and allows you to alter personality habits so you can act out of choice as opposed to compulsion.  The process is a lot of work, however.

Edited December 27, 2023 by SeaMonster