Is rejection a way of saying "i think im better than you"?

[Yimpa]

18 minutes ago, something_else said:

Now I'm just more curious.

When you say serious breakup, what do you mean by that? Serious how? And typically who is initiating these breakups, you or the woman?

God is initiating. 

It’s serious in the sense that my entire way of seeing reality transforms afterwards. I frame it as BreakingUP towards higher forms of Love.

I wish I could give a logical explanation of how “failed” relationships are paradoxically perfect, but I cannot. It’s something that has to be directly experienced and intuited.

It’s also easy to be fooled by our own assumptions of what a perfect relationship should look like. For example, just because a couple has been married for 25 years does not necessarily mean that it’s a healthy and/or a deep relationship. 

[something_else]

1 hour ago, Yimpa said:

God is initiating. 

Yes in an absolute sense you could say God is initiating the breakup. But my questions are in the relative domain because this is a thread about dating advice in the relative domain. In the relative domain, was it typically the women who were initiating these breakups, or was it you?

What is it that you are looking for in a relationship that means you are cycling through so many women just now?

I went through a period where I had lots of casual sex, many guys do. But I would not have considered any of them a relationship that required 'breaking up' and nor would the women either. Is this what you are after? If so then you should not be falsely leading on women into believing that you are more serious about them than you really are.

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It’s also easy to be fooled by our own assumptions of what a perfect relationship should look like. For example, just because a couple has been married for 25 years does not necessarily mean that it’s a healthy and/or a deep relationship. 

No of course not, but you can't have a relationship with someone you barely know. If you spent 3 days a week with a person you just met for 1 month, then you've known them for 12 days. If you are spending more than 3 days a week with someone you just met, you are jumping into relationships way too fast and that's why they are all fizzling out after a month.

Edited December 4, 2023 by something_else

[Yimpa]

12 minutes ago, something_else said:

What is it that you are looking for in a relationship that means you are cycling through so many women just now?

Love.

My journey with relationships is unique and doesn’t fit in with the normal way of communicating and forming connections. I’m not trying to sound delusional about it, I’m just literally on the autism spectrum. 

With that said, thank you for your perspective as well. I’m learning that it’s important to merge traditional dating advice with my own unique way of forming connections.

[something_else]

14 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

My journey with relationships is unique and doesn’t fit in with the normal way of communicating and forming connections. I’m not trying to sound delusional about it, I’m just literally on the autism spectrum. 

Fair enough. I'm sorry if I came across as overly aggressive, looking back I was a bit harsh.

14 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

With that said, thank you for your perspective as well. I’m learning that it’s important to merge traditional dating advice with my own unique way of forming connections.

Probably most human relationships are pretty shitty, but there are still plenty which are not. Lots of everyday people have healthy relationships you can learn from. 

I think my overall point was just that you should be careful not to smother the flame of a relationship by going too intense with someone too quickly. Many of the people I have met who have cycled through lots of relationships in a short space of time did this, and I thought maybe that could have applied to you too.

I hope you find what you're looking for 

[Yimpa]

12 minutes ago, something_else said:

I'm sorry if I came across as overly aggressive, looking back I was a bit harsh.

I can relate, I’ve also come across overly aggressive and harsh in many relationships. We’re both learning here!

14 minutes ago, something_else said:

I think my overall point was just that you should be careful not to smother the flame of a relationship by going too intense with someone too quickly. Many of the people I have met who have cycled through lots of relationships in a short space of time did this, and I thought maybe that could have applied to you too.

This reminds me of how to treat psychedelics. If you think about it, how you relate to psychedelics is itself a relationship in its own unique ways.

[Yimpa]

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Be careful not to smother the flame of your Mind by going too intense with psychedelics too quickly. Many of the people I have met who have cycled through lots of psychedelics in a short space of time did this, and I thought maybe that could have applied to you too.

 

[Chives99]

rejections simply means sorry im not interested geez dont overthink it, nobody owes anyone anything

[The0Self]

Literally not at all. In fact rejection isn’t even rejection. It’s just what happens based on conditions, often randomly.

And the least respectful and dignified thing one can do is thinking one is better than someone. So if someone does that to you, just have compassion for how mixed up they are.

If you don’t compare, everyone will respect you. Even if they don’t like you. And not everyone will like the real you. When you’re authentically yourself, some will love you and some will hate you and some will be indifferent, but the only people who will fear you are those who compare (again, if you do not compare).

Edited December 5, 2023 by The0Self

[Fabio]

I think of it in terms of food and hunger and your a slice of pizza. Women only talk from the moment and in those moments she didn’t want pizza. She might tell you she’s only into watermelons and salad. Then you see her eat hot dogs and get pissed because you think she lied. Well, that was before. Now , she wants hot dogs. Last week she might have been in the mood for pizza but you weren’t there. 
 

im kind of over simplifying but there is some truth to it. In other words, even if she feels in a moment she’s better than you, that could flip if you stopped texting her first and she saw you with a prettier woman. If she seems unattracted over text, stop texting her and let her miss you and text you first. best ratio is 70:30 her texting most. If she never texts you, then there was nothing that could be done. 
 

As far as rejection, 90%+ women will reject you if you approach them. Simply because they have a guard up or aren’t in the mood for pizza in that moment , maybe if you approached later. But, some never want pizza. It’s not personal , your just like a pizza ad billboard that can have conscious thoughts  and you think “does this business prospect think it’s better than me?” . It’s irrelevant in a way. Anyway, hope there was something of value in the small book I wrote you. Cheers

[Yimpa]

On 12/4/2023 at 5:50 PM, Chives99 said:

rejections simply means sorry im not interested geez dont overthink it, nobody owes anyone anything

It is also an opportunity to learn what your weak spots are and to improve your socializing skills.

[Yimpa]

@Fabio that is a nice analogy. Reminds me of how I switched to a pescatarian diet a month ago, after spending a lifetime eating fried chicken. As much as I love fried chicken, I have no more desire to eat them anymore. So whenever fried chicken comes up to me, it isn’t that I’m rejecting it. Simply, I don’t care about it anymore; I can now focus on a lot of other foods I’ve been missing out on my entire life.

Edited December 8, 2023 by Yimpa

[Yimpa]

Reframe rejection as delayed integration (not to be confused with delayed interrogation).