How do you make sure that you are always appropriate?

[krockerman]

I once talked with a female friend the other day and she told me that 

 

"Ask yourself would this be appropriate, and then take it a step BEFORE that" 

What are some golden rules to make sure you are always respectful when approaching women?

@Leo Gura

(And also I am kinda autistic so explicit solutions please)

[Leo Gura]

There's no algorithm for it. This requires intuition built up from social experience.

Think of it this way: You are tasked to train an AI neural network for what "appropriate" is, such that when you show the AI a photo of any social situation it can tell you on a scale of 1 to 100 how appropriate it is.

For example, if you fart in a police officers face, that's 0% appropriate.

If you whip out your dick in a kindergarten, that's 0% appropriate.

If you throw a dead skunk at a judge in a courtroom, that's 0% appropriate.

The reason pickup requires massive approaches and hours in the field socializing is because each hour, each approach, is training your neural network for what is and isn't appropriate, what is and isn't attractive, what is and isn't funny, what is and isn't cool.

Edited November 28, 2023 by Leo Gura

[krockerman]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

There's no algorithm for it. This requires intuition built up from social experience.

Think of it this way: You are tasked to train an AI neural network for what "appropriate" is, such that when you show the AI a photo of any social situation it can tell you on a scale of 1 to 100 how appropriate it is.

For example, if you fart in a police officers face, that's 0% appropriate.

If you whip out your dick in a kindergarten, that's 0% appropriate.

If you throw a dead skunk at a judge in a courtroom, that's 0% appropriate.

The reason pickup requires massive approaches and hours in the field socializing is because each hour, each approach, is training your neural network for what is and isn't appropriate, what is and isn't attractive, what is and isn't funny, what is and isn't cool.

Alright that I can understand. However what are some general rules you can follow to make sure that you don't do anything too Inappropriate?

After all laying your arm around a girl can be inappropriate.

It's a main insecurity I have that prevent me from taking action because I am afraid that I might do something too inappropriate accendentally

Or maybe the question how do I stop see myself as some kind of monster for touching girls?

We live in an era of Metoo where many men have described being afraid to touch girls

I may do slightly inappropriate things during pick up but I atleast want some inner and outer guidelines to make sure that it is never too inappropriate so I don't get into trouble or harm anyone 

[Leo Gura]

41 minutes ago, krockerman said:

After all laying your arm around a girl can be inappropriate.

Do it and see what you can get away with.

Google for "Kino escalation ladder" and follow that.

Touching hands, arms, and shoulders is very safe. Touch in a non-sexual way.

Edited November 28, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Chives99]

the best way to be socially calibrated is to give up on yourself, even if you  make mistake , accept that, love that, apologise move on, with relationships you always go to give, a connection is not about you its about building something thats bigger than the two of you, your intuition will build as you learn how people react to stuff , you can't logically formulate it as emotions are very much in the moment and can change rapidly based on a myriad of factors . Thats why mdma can help loosen people up and make you love yourself and everyone no matter what. Reacting to whats going on, but love yourself if you make a mistake anyways

Edited November 28, 2023 by Chives99

[StarStruck]

If you never break the rules you will never know where the border is between appropriate or not. Secondly, never take advice from women on women. Whatever they tell you you need to do the opposite.  

Edited November 28, 2023 by StarStruck

[Chives99]

18 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

If you never break the rules you will never know where the border is between appropriate or not. Secondly, never take advice from women on women. Whatever they tell you you need to do the opposite.  

so your saying women are dumb and dont know what they want???? not all women are the same some prefer more ruggish men, and some prefer more gentle types like bob ross, any everything in between in the same way men have different preferences

[Spiral]

I wouldn’t put it as extreme as @StarStruck however yes don’t ask women how to get women. Or the other way around.

Women will tell you what they like not what they are attractive to. 

[Chives99]

@Spiral isnt that the same thing.

[Yimpa]

16 hours ago, krockerman said:

(And also I am kinda autistic so explicit solutions please)

Autism is a spectrum, nothing wrong with having it! 

I promise you, there are very attractive autistic people out there.

[Princess Arabia]

3 hours ago, StarStruck said:

If you never break the rules you will never know where the border is between appropriate or not. Secondly, never take advice from women on women. Whatever they tell you you need to do the opposite.  

Not realizing you are still taking advice from women by doing the opposite of what they say. Kind of like not making a decision is still making a decision. The irony. Boy, you guys surely think you're in charge. You just made a passive decision-making statement without even realizing it. Umph!

[Princess Arabia]

56 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

@Spiral isnt that the same thing.

They try, poor things. My mind's playing tricks on me. Know that song?

Edited November 28, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

8 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Autism is a spectrum, nothing wrong with having it! 

I promise you, there are very attractive autistic people out there.

I don't think he was suggesting that.

[Princess Arabia]

2 hours ago, Spiral said:

I wouldn’t put it as extreme as @StarStruck however yes don’t ask women how to get women. Or the other way around.

Women will tell you what they like not what they are attractive to. 

I ask men about men. Not necessarily for advice, but just to see how they think. My experiences are my teachers. You guys are demonizing the same tool that can help to "fix" things. You run from what you fear and what you fear can potentially turn around and bite you in the ass. Who else are you gonna learn raw truth about women from? Hurt men? Angry men? Spiteful Men? Womanizers? Unless they have a good rapport with most women or Professionals who study this field, run. Go meet your prey head on.

P.S. Those traits I mentioned above are not what I'm saying all men have, but it would be hard to detect just from appearances without knowing their history.

[Yimpa]

8 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I don't think he was suggesting that.

My mind's playing tricks on me. 

[Chives99]

49 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

They try, poor things. My mind's playing tricks on me. Know that song?

" I don't like sexist guys"   no you silly woman you don't know what you want you have to have the patriarchy tell you what you want now get back to your household chores 

[StarStruck]

56 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Not realizing you are still taking advice from women by doing the opposite of what they say. Kind of like not making a decision is still making a decision. The irony. Boy, you guys surely think you're in charge. You just made a passive decision-making statement without even realizing it. Umph!

It is a rule of thumb 

[Princess Arabia]

32 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

It is a rule of thumb 

Your silly rule of thumb. There are no rules when it comes to dating. Guidelines, suggestions and appropriateness, yes but no rules.

[Princess Arabia]

39 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

" I don't like sexist guys"   no you silly woman you don't know what you want you have to have the patriarchy tell you what you want now get back to your household chores 

I notice even when I get in the dating section of the forum and make certain suggestions or comments, I'll hear the, "you don't understand men" line or they fight me to the end. Duh! You're only fighting your existing stance that got you in the position you're in in the first place. I can understand the saying, "you don't know what it FEELS like" on a higher scale, because I can say the same thing in regards to how it's hard for a man to feel like a woman; but saying you don't understand men is completely hogwash when that's who I've been dealing with on an intimate level all my life. 

[StarStruck]

34 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Your silly rule of thumb. There are no rules when it comes to dating. Guidelines, suggestions and appropriateness, yes but no rules.

Dude. It was a figure of speech.