Authenticity- break out of logic

[Chives99]

Being real means you stay true to yourself, no matter what, regardless of how things turn out. If you're arent real any connection you have with someone is going to be fake, your not relating to the person you are just relating to yourself and your needs.

"I'm lonely and I need someone to complete me so therefore I'm going to sell myself out and go along with what other people want even if they mistreat me"

sounds absurd right???? but  thats exactly what you're doing by acting fake , pretending to like things the person you like is interested in , they're going to smell that fakeness a mile away because you have no idea what you're talking about and theirs no heart and passion behind what you're saying. From a logical standpoint it makes sense if person im interested in likes rock music, talk to them about rock music, but since you aren't even interested in it for its own sake you aren't actually connecting to the other person.

 

so dont be fake 

 

the solution really here is to find someone who shares your passions and interests , my mates autistic mum in denmark likes inuit/ greenlandic culture, so what she goes over  their to research for enjoyment for its own sake  and what happens ???? she finds like minded people and comes back dating the PHD researcher working over there.

her son was quite shy and also autistic he gets invited to  viking festival from a work colleague, falls in love with particular interest makes loads of friends and bags himself a girlfriend.

 

I found my passion  for raves this summer  ( also autistic ) very much thanks to  a member of this forum ( YOUR THE REAL MVP)  who told me that raves existed i always loved electronic music but wasn't aware they had massive events, being going to them since august, met loads of awesome friends and got quite a few phone numbers from girls that also share the same interest and  texted for hours. one girl invited me to the next event with her friends so we can hang out and get to know each other better.

 

with logic your not actually relating to the person you're relating to yourself, because its about your needs and you, not feeling other peoples emotions, so find your passion or interest and you'll meet loads of awesome people through that, dont make it about you, make it about understanding and connecting to the other person.

 

You're interest might be online gaming , you might getting chatting to someone in a server and hit it off, spoken to a few people that met their partner on an online platform, not my interest but each to their own. 

 

the downfall with autism is being too self focused and overly logical, peoples emotions and relating to other people is not logical, how you feel is how you feel its not logical.

Edited November 27, 2023 by Chives99