Chest pain/discomfort persist even after 2 years of the intense LSD trip

[Inder]

On 12/12/2023 at 5:40 AM, Monomachus said:

You may have traumatized yourself. Have a look at the work of Dr Bessel van der Kolk on this topic and if you haven't already take a look at Leo's video about body awareness.

Deep breathing exercises, yoga, trauma release exercises (TRE) and myofascial release therapy are all things that you can try.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I have traumatized myself, I guess I need that because my life before this incident was quite miserable, I was in depression, my father passed away, no career, anxiety issues, no life purpose, no happiness, and had so many suicidal thoughts at that time. Maybe I guess this incident was a wake-up call for me. After this incident, my life has improved greatly, depression is gone, suicidal thoughts are gone, my happiness level increased so much, my work ethic improved, my career improved, social anxiety improved, desires come back, desire to live come back, overall my life has changed so much that sometimes I'm very thankful for that incident on LSD, even thought that Psychedlics experience has given me so much pain, discomfort and fear of death on an almost daily basis, but at the same time there is a deep peace to it, deep satisfaction to it, that I never felt before, which is quite interesting.

I am thankful for the suggestions that you mentioned, generally, this pain tends to increase when I'm very calm, in a mediative state, that's when the fear and pain come back, if I'm distracting myself, then it is not that bad, I guess meditation/consciousness work highlights the trauma, help me to face it head-on, but it is very difficult to look into the fear of death, I guess I need to keep on trying until I stop fearing it. I guess that's the only way forward to improve my situation. 

[Telcontar]

Dear Inder, 

I have a very similar condition since 2015. It started after an intense LSD + MDMA trip and the pain has been with me ever since. 

I also went through various medical check ups but they never found anything. The pain and pressure come in waves and it gets heavier when I am stressed or due to other negative external and internal factors. It ranges from mild pressure feelings above the solar plexus to panic-attack-inducing pain levels. I had times when it was so severe it gave me suicidal thoughts. It feels like a knife slowly being pushed from the inside of my chest outwards. Before this, I was quite stable and I could have never imagined the levels of emotional pain I went through the last 8 years.

My explanation right now is that I activated my pain body entirely (not just one specific trauma). Over the years I worked through various traumas and emotional issues which always gave me some temporary relief. But it seems like there is always more. It seems that my heart chakra opened completely and the entire pain I had stored in my emotional body came to the surface and has stayed there ever since.

One shift in perspective that really helped me live with the pain is the following: I was so stuck and emotionally closed off that I subconsciously forced myself to break open and bring it all up. Since then I have been forced to work with the pain through various forms of therapy, meditation, yoga, breathwork, and also psychedelic medicine. It immensely accelerated my personal, emotional and spiritual growth. The pain also does not allow me to indulge in any form of unhealthy behavior. It made me stop drinking, smoking and taking drugs entirely. It made me very sensitive to any kinds of stressors in my life (work stress, relationship problems, family issues...). It's like an unforgiving and ruthless compass, only allowing me to walk on a narrow path. If I stray away from it, the pain becomes unbearable.

So in a sense, I have a lot of gratitude for what happened and the path it led me on. But a part of me is also tired of being in constant pain. I almost forgot how it feels like to be pain-free. I also worry that it might take a toll on my health over the years, having the sympathetic nervous system active most of the time is definitely not healthy in the long run.

I have never met anyone or heard of anyone with a similar condition so it really caught my attention when I read your post.

Feel free to shoot me a DM to connect further. I would be happy to discuss our shared experience and maybe support each other on this journey.

 

 

[halfknots]

@Inder in my opinion doing psychedelics with this type of "hard goal" can be a setup for disappointment. That being said healing certainly is possible.

Another intention could be to explore, perceive, understand, release, and integrate whatever experience is behind the sensation.

In the meantime try this https://www.va.gov/WHOLEHEALTHLIBRARY/tools/therapeutic-journaling.asp

[Inder]

@Telcontar Hi, if you got the medical clearance, nothing is wrong from the medical point of view, it's probably related to the deep anxiety stuck in the chest, upper back, and around the heart area. Probably you need to keep on meditating on the pain and fear associated with it, generally it's not the pain we are afraid of it's the fear of death associated with it, and it is very difficult to meditate on the pain/fear, just need to keep on trying until stop caring about the pain and fear associated.

Check out Leo's video on Fear part 1 and 2. 

and I have been trying this heart-opening yoga for the past few days, it seems like a good practice for relaxing your chest, upper back, and heart region.

Here is the link: 

 

[28 cm unbuffed]

I'm going through a similar process right now, mushrooms opened my heart chakra, and the emotions that were blocked started to flow out like crazy.

What helped me is practicing daily Wim Hof breathing technique in the morning, my body is then better able to process all that is coming out and feel these emotions fully.

@Inder

Thanks for the yoga exercise, I tried it today, maybe it will be able to stretch my chest area and allow me to process more emotions faster. 

 

For like 2 months now, I have felt pain in my chest (like dirty, unpleasant, negative emotions) either mildly but lasting for hours or more intense for like 15-30 minutes at a time. Every - single - day.

Not sure when it will stop or process fully or when the moment of it being fully processed will arrive. That's a lot.

Edited December 17, 2023 by 28 cm unbuffed