Guys! Stop Seeing It As A "Rejection".

[Princess Arabia]

I'm a female, so take it from me, we are not always rejecting you, perse, if we don't give you a number, go on a date or even acknowledge your approaches. It's not always about you. It's called making another choice. 

If you chose to buy apples instead of oranges are you rejecting the oranges? No, you just chose to buy apples instead. If you didn't like how a particular shirt fit your taste and you chose to buy another shirt, we're you rejecting the other shirt? No, you chose the one that suited you best. 

I see so many comments on here about how "she rejected me". No, she made another choice. Whatever you're doing in a particular moment something else is not being done. It's not always a rejection of one thing to chose something else. Sometimes, but not always.

This is why we need to get over ourselves. I don't want to turn this into  Spiritual mumbo jumbo, but the Universe is doing it's thing and is rearranging circumstances to align with your core being and giving you what you ask for. But it doesn't happen on a physical level but on a mental level. 

That so-called "rejection" might just be what you asked for. You don't know if she was the right fit for you but the Universe did, based on your alignment with it. People are constantly being selected and deselectted from your life without your conscious doing without you even realizing this is happening. 

Bottomline, try not to take things personally, not in a "I don't give a fuck" way or, "her loss", or "I'm not good enough" way, but say to yourself "that's just not a right fit for me at the moment" kind of way. 

Women get approached all the time, attractive or not (attraction is relative). It is how we have set it up. Men do the approaching. We as a society created that norm. So, it's not that we're rejecting you, it's more about making another choice that is most suited for us, whether it's the right choice or not is left to be seen. IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU. IT'S NOT ALWAYS A REJECTION OF YOU. Infact, it almost never is. 

 

[CARDOZZO]

Great to see woman perspectives here.

Thanks for your contribution.

[Princess Arabia]

8 minutes ago, CARDOZZO said:

Great to see woman perspectives here.

Thanks for your contribution.

You're welcome. Thanks for reading.

[HMD]

@Princess Arabia It certainly appears as a rejection. Generally, men take rejection to heart because women’s validation for them is the proof that their genes are good enough for propagation. And when a woman rejects us, at a subconscious level it’s like saying “you may be good as a friend but I don’t think your genes deserve to be carried on”.

And this forces us to improve ourselves. I think women rejecting men is a good thing. If men start seeing it as just them making another choice they’ll become lazy and egoic. 

Edited November 26, 2023 by HMD

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, HMD said:

@Princess Arabia It certainly appears as a rejection. Generally, men take rejection to heart because women’s validation for them is the proof that their genes are good enough for propagation. And when a woman rejects us, at a subconscious level it’s like saying “you may be good as a friend but I don’t think your genes deserve to be carried on”.

And this forces us to improve ourselves. I think women rejecting men is a good thing. If men start seeing it as just them making another choice they’ll become lazy and egoic. 

Don't agree, but you're entitled to yours. Everything is an appearance, so appearing to be a rejection can be interpreted in any way. All you're saying in your remark are just stories. Stories the mind is concocting. A belief. An assumption. 

You can feel and believe that if you like, but on a subconscious level we are all wired differently and perceive things differently depending on those beliefs. 

It's another assumption saying men will become lazy. Some may see it as a way to improve, some may see it as "next!". You're making assumptions. 

The point of my post is for men to not put stories behind that perceived rejection, take it for what it is and move on. Our minds can play tricks on us and lead us into self-sabotaging ourselves into believe things that isn't true and then we act upon those beliefs in negative ways which can lead us to self-destruct. 

[nhoktinvt]

im just seeing it as 'she's in her logical mood'

[Princess Arabia]

36 minutes ago, nhoktinvt said:

im just seeing it as 'she's in her logical mood'

It's very rare that women use logics when it comes to dating. Especially when they're younger. They usually go by how they feel. Men usually go first by  what they see. Then what they think, then how they feel. Even though it's still all about feelings. 

How they feel by what they see, how they feel by what they think. It's all about feelings. If you can make someone feel good, that's usually a win win. Why do you think women love men who makes them laugh. It feels good to laugh. Laughing is therapy.

[HMD]

@Princess Arabia Everything is an assumption. It’s just an alternative perspective to yours. That’s all. More perspectives, better understanding. 

[Princess Arabia]

26 minutes ago, HMD said:

@Princess Arabia Everything is an assumption. It’s just an alternative perspective to yours. That’s all. More perspectives, better understanding. 

I understand your point. Mine is more about not having any perspectives about the matter at hand and just to see it for what it is. No stories or attachments or even interpretations. Can you imagine how many different stories and interpretations it will take if men were to evaluate all their perceived rejections. This is why it gets tiring for some, or it becomes a chore or some men get angry at women. If it wasn't so much as a man's role like society put on you all to do, it wouldn't be such a tiring task. So to put less pressure on yourselves, I'm just suggesting to not take it personal nor add a bunch of perceived stories to the mix. 

Why do you think it's such a wide topic of discussion in the PUA community. Because its a challenge. To make it less challenging, try to stop the.personal analyzing so much. That's my point. Something that isn't required to be done as many times where the risk of getting "rejected" wouldn't need these.kinds of precautionary measures, but because you guys have made.it into a.culture and a role it needs to be done strategically and I'm suggesting to not add unnecessary meaning to the ones who didn't say yes. 

26 minutes ago, HMD said:

@Princess Arabia 

Edited November 26, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Someone here]

I mean fragile male egos are really why we have all the mess we have in the world. And if they can look down upon you.. then they don't feel so bad about you rejecting them first. That's all that is. It's a coping mechanism for a bruised ego. A normal person just goes "welp.. guess they just weren't into me". Oh well. A sad little manbaby with a fragile ego has to somehow make you the bad guy in this.

[CARDOZZO]

Rejection is not entirely personal.

You can search for Jia Jiang.

This guy is amazing.

He did a 100 days challenge to be reject.

Look at his YT channel with all challenges day by day.

 

 

[PurpleTree]

15 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I mean fragile male egos are really why we have all the mess we have in the world. And if they can look down upon you.. then they don't feel so bad about you rejecting them first. That's all that is. It's a coping mechanism for a bruised ego. A normal person just goes "welp.. guess they just weren't into me". Oh well. A sad little manbaby with a fragile ego has to somehow make you the bad guy in this.

I want to put you on ignore for this

but i don’t know how 🥲

[Princess Arabia]

26 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I mean fragile male egos are really why we have all the mess we have in the world. And if they can look down upon you.. then they don't feel so bad about you rejecting them first. That's all that is. It's a coping mechanism for a bruised ego. A normal person just goes "welp.. guess they just weren't into me". Oh well. A sad little manbaby with a fragile ego has to somehow make you the bad guy in this.

Most women already sees a guy's ego as fragile. But it only worsens with the putting down of women to inflate yours or trying not to feel bad. It doesn't work. It's not about a "normal person just goes, well, .......but more about the best approach in dealing with the circumstances. Direct experiences teaches us more than a coach or guru can in certain situations, but saying what a normal.person would do and blowing it off and going back to the normal way of handling it while complaining about women and seeing it as a rejection won't advance you into becoming better at approaching and dealing with perceived rejections.

Edited November 26, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

9 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

I want to put you on ignore for this

but i don’t know how 🥲

Don't mind him, he's a mess.

[Schizophonia]

Lol, it looks like a marketing communications course in business school.
Yes, it's hurtful to be rejected not to be chosen by a girl for someone better, and whether we like it or not the choice is much more a matter of "vertical" characteristics (beauty, charisma, social status, money. ..) than "horizontal" (dress style, energy style, points in common...)

[Someone here]

13 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

I want to put you on ignore for this

but i don’t know how 🥲

Lol why ? 😆 

[Schizophonia]

27 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I mean fragile male egos are really why we have all the mess we have in the world. And if they can look down upon you.. then they don't feel so bad about you rejecting them first. That's all that is. It's a coping mechanism for a bruised ego. A normal person just goes "welp.. guess they just weren't into me". Oh well. A sad little manbaby with a fragile ego has to somehow make you the bad guy in this.

Of course, it's not for nothing that the majority of authoritarians, from Nazis to hysterical vegans to jihadists, are physically repulsive.
The better looking you are, the more liberal and cynical you are.

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, Schizophonia said:

Lol, it looks like a marketing communications course in business school.
Yes, it's hurtful to be rejected not to be chosen by a girl for someone better, and whether we like it or not the choice is much more a matter of "vertical" characteristics (beauty, charisma, social status, money. ..) than "horizontal" (dress style, energy style, points in common...)

It's not about you. Don't feel hurt. You're just taking it that way. You say better but that person she chose may end up abusing her while you might not have. Then she ends up being abused and having to deal with trauma and whatever else comes with that. How's that better. Maybe in your eyes but ends up not being in hers. We never know. So him being better is just how you perceived him to be for her.

[Someone here]

12 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Most women already sees a guy's ego as fragile. But it only worsens with the putting down of women to inflate yours or trying not to feel bad. It doesn't work. It's not about a "normal person just goes, well, .......but more about the best approach in dealing with the circumstances. Direct experiences teaches us more than a coach or guru can in certain situations, but saying what a normal.person would do and blowing it off and going back to the normal way of handling it while complaining about women and seeing it as a rejection won't advance you into becoming better at approaching. 

Fair enough. Thanks for your input. I can speak for those girls  i've come across b... I just want to say that those girls who rejected me before I would have offered my whole self to them..but they still declined me. (I once heard a girl's friend asking if I was her bf and she said I wish. There were lots of signs that she liked me. But still wouldn't date me when I gave her the biggest chance ever. A real fucking man isn't a horny fucking dog . I can be celibate my whole life . I'm beginning to transcend the need for sex .and going for "true love". But that's just being a smart arse..so I will stop ✋. 

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, Someone here said:

Fair enough. Thanks for your input. I can speak for those girls  i've come across b... I just want to say that those girls who rejected me before I would have offered my whole self to them..but they still declined me. (I once heard a girl's friend asking if I was her bf and she said I wish. There were lots of signs that she liked me. But still wouldn't date me when I gave her the biggest chance ever. A real fucking man isn't a horny fucking dog . I can be celibate my whole life . I'm beginning to transcend the need for sex .and going for "true love". But that's just being a smart arse..so I will stop ✋. 

Next week you'll be a horny dog again. You just probably got some lately. Can't wait to see the post about how horny you are..lol