Guys! Stop Seeing It As A "Rejection".

[Leo Gura]

If you're having fun socializing then there's nothing to reframe.

[vibv]

On 26.11.2023 at 8:52 PM, CARDOZZO said:

Rejection is better than success.

 

No it isn't.

Stop trying to reframe rejection as something positive. What's good about rejection (or failure in general) is that you can learn from it and grow from it. But it sucks. That's the whole point. It sucks, but it's okay, it happens to everyone.

Trying to say "oh rejection is actually something really great and I should seek it out" is complete bullshit and a bad attempt to negate the negative feelings that arise from it. The solution is to embrace it and see/reframe it as an opportunity – but don't pretend that it is in fact something you ultimately want. Be careful what you wish for.

[Yimpa]

Got rejected and heartbroken yesterday.

Talked to an old crush today and we plan on hanging out soon.

Life goes on, baby.

[Jacob Morres]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

If you're having fun socializing then there's nothing to reframe.

Fair. That's meta 

[StarStruck]

On 26-11-2023 at 3:39 PM, Princess Arabia said:

I'm a female, so take it from me, we are not always rejecting you, perse, if we don't give you a number, go on a date or even acknowledge your approaches. It's not always about you. It's called making another choice. 

If you chose to buy apples instead of oranges are you rejecting the oranges? No, you just chose to buy apples instead. If you didn't like how a particular shirt fit your taste and you chose to buy another shirt, we're you rejecting the other shirt? No, you chose the one that suited you best. 

I see so many comments on here about how "she rejected me". No, she made another choice. Whatever you're doing in a particular moment something else is not being done. It's not always a rejection of one thing to chose something else. Sometimes, but not always.

This is why we need to get over ourselves. I don't want to turn this into  Spiritual mumbo jumbo, but the Universe is doing it's thing and is rearranging circumstances to align with your core being and giving you what you ask for. But it doesn't happen on a physical level but on a mental level. 

That so-called "rejection" might just be what you asked for. You don't know if she was the right fit for you but the Universe did, based on your alignment with it. People are constantly being selected and deselectted from your life without your conscious doing without you even realizing this is happening. 

Bottomline, try not to take things personally, not in a "I don't give a fuck" way or, "her loss", or "I'm not good enough" way, but say to yourself "that's just not a right fit for me at the moment" kind of way. 

Women get approached all the time, attractive or not (attraction is relative). It is how we have set it up. Men do the approaching. We as a society created that norm. So, it's not that we're rejecting you, it's more about making another choice that is most suited for us, whether it's the right choice or not is left to be seen. IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU. IT'S NOT ALWAYS A REJECTION OF YOU. Infact, it almost never is. 

 

Guys who are angry are not angry because little you rejected them. They are angry because they are systematically rejected. It is hard not to take that personal. I’m not talking about myself by the way. But I had time I felt like that and I’m glad I took it personal because now that is not the case. I don’t think you get the male experience of life. 

[Princess Arabia]

20 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Guys who are angry are not angry because little you rejected them. They are angry because they are systematically rejected. It is hard not to take that personal. I’m not talking about myself by the way. But I had time I felt like that and I’m glad I took it personal because now that is not the case. I don’t think you get the male experience of life. 

The male experience of life is no different on a general scale than a woman's experience. Yes, certain traits and characteristics vary but it doesn't take a male experience, as a female, to know what rejection is and how it feels when you take it personally. I wish you guys would stop saying to women about everything you experience that we don't get the male experience. Getting something and feeling something are two separate things. I deal with more men than you do, on this scale and vice versa. So I do have some relevant perspectives pertaining to how men see and view things. Why wouldn't I. 

It's a numbers game we're talking about here so obviously more men will feel rejected because more men are doing the approaching. If you never approached a woman in your life, you would never feel rejected in that way. Are you going to get upset then, no so why get upset in the first place when it's not about you. It's only a feeling at play here. No one told you how to feel. 

Edited November 28, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Jacob Morres]

@Princess Arabia I'd have to respectfully disagree, i think men and women generally go through different challenges and there are certain challenges that many men face that women don't face (and vice versa) 

Like getting sex or dates, can take quite some effort for the average guy. It's not in simple abundance like it is for many women. 

Like men generally will almost never have women hit on them, reach out, approach them, dm them etc. It happens but it's rare. Men also have to put 3-5x more effort in a dating profile to get even an okay amount of matches 

That being said, its a reality but it's easily solved with a bit of effort 

Edited November 29, 2023 by Jacob Morres

[CARDOZZO]

Being approached (I mean direct approach) by a woman is rare.

When it happens, usually it is in clubs when a girl is drunk.

Sad but it is true.

[Princess Arabia]

2 hours ago, Jacob Morres said:

@Princess Arabia I'd have to respectfully disagree, i think men and women generally go through different challenges and there are certain challenges that many men face that women don't face (and vice versa) 

Like getting sex or dates, can take quite some effort for the average guy. It's not in simple abundance like it is for many women. 

Like men generally will almost never have women hit on them, reach out, approach them, dm them etc. It happens but it's rare. Men also have to put 3-5x more effort in a dating profile to get even an okay amount of matches 

That being said, its a reality but it's easily solved with a bit of effort 

May I ask what did I actually say that you are disagreeing with. I'm not sure.

[Schizophonia]

14 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

Being approached (I mean direct approach) by a woman is rare.

When it happens, usually it is in clubs when a girl is drunk.

Sad but it is true.

This is not uncommon, it happened to me at least twice in my class at university.

If this doesn't happen to you it doesn't mean you're too ugly, but since women are more expensive than men (because of the superior sexual energy of men), she doesn't need to go see you and prefers to wait, to be passive.

Between us, women should stay away from dating sites, for this very reason.

Edited November 29, 2023 by Schizophonia

[CARDOZZO]

@Schizophonia Look at that jawline, you're God  

It can happen for sure in different places

[Princess Arabia]

2 hours ago, Lila9 said:

Many men tend to be so self absorbed, they think the world has to bent to their will and if it doesn't happen they would be frustrated like little children. 

Haha, so true. Just an observation. Guys don't see what goes on on the other end of the spectrum and realize what us girls are facing and how it's so repetitive how they act and how certain traits seem to be so common amongst them. 

[Princess Arabia]

14 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

Being approached (I mean direct approach) by a woman is rare.

When it happens, usually it is in clubs when a girl is drunk.

Sad but it is true.

But we're not supposed to approach men, remember. It's not ladylike. Females are trained to be a certain way and men indirectly agree with these rules by how they respond to women. Don't complain about unspoken rules that society makes up in regards to the dating scene. It's not feminine to approach guys. Don't you like feminine women.

[CARDOZZO]

@Princess Arabia I agree with yourself.

That's why I said it is rare to be approached by woman.

I don't expect to be approached, that's why I approach them  

[Princess Arabia]

3 minutes ago, CARDOZZO said:

@Princess Arabia I agree with yourself.

That's why I said it is rare to be approached by woman.

I don't expect to be approached, that's why I approach them  

Well you said, "sad but true". Why is it sad, when it's the preference of the male species that women dont approach, whether directly or indirectly said.

Edited November 29, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Yimpa]

2 hours ago, Lila9 said:

There can be many reasons for a woman to reject a man that has nothing to do with the man itself.

i.e. women are going through a menstruational cycle which affects our mood and perception of reality during the month. A woman in her period vs her ovulation stage is not the same.

Thank you, I did not consider this perspective. I will give her space for whatever reason she needs it.

[CARDOZZO]

@Princess Arabia It's sad because I can't approach 2 different woman at the same time.

Maybe this one girl that saw me on the streets and I don't saw her could be my future wife.

That's why it's sad.

Also we as man don't approach all girls that we find interesting because we also have fear sometimes.

Edited November 29, 2023 by CARDOZZO

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, CARDOZZO said:

@Princess Arabia It's sad because I can't approach 2 different woman at the same time.

Maybe this one girl that saw me on the streets and I don't saw her could be my future wife.

That's why it's sad.

Also we as man don't approach all girls that we find interesting because we also have fear sometimes.

Hold up a bit. Speed racing, are we. Chill! Maybe's, if's and could be's is exactly where anxiety and fearful thoughts arise from. Oh my! You must suffer from anxiety. Take it easy with those racing thoughts, be present more and this won't happen as often. You're worried about the one that got away while the one infront of you is being ignored. Now you see how we create these anxious situations for ourselves because we're constantly in the past and the future with our thoughts, then we wonder why we're fearful.

[CARDOZZO]

@Princess Arabia No. 

This is your assumptions.

I didn't say any of that.

I just said that I would like if woman approach more often, but it's not a reality for most guys and that's ok 😀

That's it.

 

[Princess Arabia]

27 minutes ago, CARDOZZO said:

@Princess Arabia No. 

This is your assumptions.

I didn't say any of that.

I just said that I would like if woman approach more often, but it's not a reality for most guys and that's ok 😀

That's it.

 

Without keeping it up for too much longer, yes you said what I said, but indirectly. If you're worried about that you can't approach 2 women at the same time and the one you didn't see might have been your future wife..yes you are being anxious about what isn't happening and projecting fears unto the future. We are so used to how the mind functions that we don't recognize these things and how it's doing it. We can't see it. It has become the norm. Go back and read your comment and tell me if those maybels could's would's and if's and worrisome thoughts are stemming from being anxious about the future.

Edited November 29, 2023 by Princess Arabia