Is It Ok To Touch On The Shoulder A Woman I Find Attractive?

[Yimpa]

11 hours ago, Mada_ said:

Nah very dangerous she could bite you 

You *should* go to the *ER* soon after 

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 11/28/2023 at 11:52 AM, Chives99 said:

the vast majority of social interaction is non verbal, words are just like sign posts and their meaning changes so much based on a myriad of factors

Good luck with all that in a court of law for a sexual assault/harassment trial 😅

”You see, you honor. I may not have had her verbal consent but all the social cues  and body language gave me the green light. The vibe was just right. How was I to know she wasn’t into it?”

Can’t see that going very well

 

What you say would explain why husbands/bfs often find themselves stuck in the doghouse for reasons unbeknownst to them. Something like “Babe, I’m sorry I made you feel bad but I have no idea what I did, can you please tell me?” Then she’ll cry, “Why can’t you just know? You just don’t get me! I’ve given you all the signs in the world. Do I really need to spell it out for you?” Of course sometimes it can be so subtle even the girl herself doesn’t understand what it is she wants of her partner, or she’ll want contradicting things simultaneously. Like the classic “You’re supposed to act based on what I MEAN, not what I SAY”

Or it could be something like she starts complaining just to blow off steam but gets annoyed when the guy tries to offer her solutions because she’s just trying to vent, not fix the problem immediately.

Are those pretty good examples of it?

[Princess Arabia]

13 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Good luck with all that in a court of law for a sexual assault/harassment trial 😅

”You see, you honor. I may not have had her verbal consent but all the social cues  and body language gave me the green light. The vibe was just right. How was I to know she wasn’t into it?”

Can’t see that going very well

 

What you say would explain why husbands/bfs often find themselves stuck in the doghouse for reasons unbeknownst to them. Something like “Babe, I’m sorry I made you feel bad but I have no idea what I did, can you please tell me?” Then she’ll cry, “Why can’t you just know? You just don’t get me! I’ve given you all the signs in the world. Do I really need to spell it out for you?” Of course sometimes it can be so subtle even the girl herself doesn’t understand what it is she wants of her partner, or she’ll want contradicting things simultaneously. Like the classic “You’re supposed to act based on what I MEAN, not what I SAY”

Or it could be something like she starts complaining just to blow off steam but gets annoyed when the guy tries to offer her solutions because she’s just trying to vent, not fix the problem immediately.

Are those pretty good examples of it?

It is true that most communication is non-verbal but only in the case of feelings, emotions etc..not dealing specifically with factual statements. In your eg above you're mostly showing how non-verbal cues can be misread and wrongly interpreted.

Edited December 1, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Chives99]

On 01/12/2023 at 0:10 AM, Emotionalmosquito said:

Good luck with all that in a court of law for a sexual assault/harassment trial 😅

”You see, you honor. I may not have had her verbal consent but all the social cues  and body language gave me the green light. The vibe was just right. How was I to know she wasn’t into it?”

Can’t see that going very well

 

What you say would explain why husbands/bfs often find themselves stuck in the doghouse for reasons unbeknownst to them. Something like “Babe, I’m sorry I made you feel bad but I have no idea what I did, can you please tell me?” Then she’ll cry, “Why can’t you just know? You just don’t get me! I’ve given you all the signs in the world. Do I really need to spell it out for you?” Of course sometimes it can be so subtle even the girl herself doesn’t understand what it is she wants of her partner, or she’ll want contradicting things simultaneously. Like the classic “You’re supposed to act based on what I MEAN, not what I SAY”

Or it could be something like she starts complaining just to blow off steam but gets annoyed when the guy tries to offer her solutions because she’s just trying to vent, not fix the problem immediately.

Are those pretty good examples of it?

logic is too rigid for socialising, consent can be revoked at any point which is why you have to pay attention to their cues and what they are saying not going off a formula like a robot. You couldn't sign consent forms for stuff as the person is allowed to change their minds but they have to let you know, regret does not create assault. Laws change between different jurisdictions but i think its generally accepted that consent is given when both parties are enthusiastic and participating , that doesnt mean you cant consent if you've had a little to drink or smoked some weed, but if the person isnt coherent and doesnt know where they are thats not being an enthusiastic participant,  if the cctv clearly showed the two of you smooching each others faces off and then one said they didnt consent the footage would show otherwise. The law has the hard difficulty of pinning rigid laws with the fluid dynamics of socialising, peoples interested level can go up and down, the woman might be having a bad day and therefore not feeling like fliriting and participating and thats why autistic rules dont work , you can't lock down social dynamics (how people feel) into a computerised  formula

[Princess Arabia]

2 hours ago, Chives99 said:

which is why you have to pay attention to their cues and what they are saying not going off a formula like a robot.

*This*. But the "logical mind rebuttees" will respond by saying, you can't always go by what she says. She'll say something but mean something different. Cues, like you said, plus body language and also, when in doubt don't cross the road.

[VVS]

Yes, but you can’t be lowkey about that’s definitely going to get you friendzoned. To me that ”super briefly” sounded like it was almost an accident. In your mind you you pussied out on it before even doing it. Either 0 or 100%.

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 12/2/2023 at 9:13 AM, Chives99 said:

regret does not create assault

Not according to the law in many places. There’s this thing called retroactive consent that the radfems are trying to get passed everywhere where the girl can withdraw her consent at any time in the future and lock you up for it. Even if she changes her mind during the act she doesn’t have to show any cues or let you know in any way for you to still be on the hook.

On 12/2/2023 at 9:13 AM, Chives99 said:

if the cctv clearly showed the two of you smooching each others faces off and then one said they didnt consent the footage would show otherwise

Camera footage could help you out but the problem is when it comes to full on sex you aren’t allowed to film it without her knowledge in most places. However, even with just smooches and touching in what appears as both parties consenting, she could still make a pretty good case that she felt pressured into it and get you in big trouble that way.

On 12/2/2023 at 9:13 AM, Chives99 said:

you can't lock down social dynamics (how people feel) into a computerised  formula

Maybe so. But what you can do is put a stop to this retroactive consent madness. All it is is a way for them to weasel out of their own mistakes, nothing to do with protecting women. They should have enough agency to make decisions and take accountability for their actions even if they regret something instead of ruining innocent mens lives by scapegoating their temporary lapse of judgment as rape or sexual assault. These cases should only be valid in the event of the guy being told NO very clearly and advancing on her anyway. Enough of this social cues and reading vibes malarkey. 

On 12/2/2023 at 11:32 AM, Princess Arabia said:

when in doubt don't cross the road.

Well in that case I’ll be staying right where I am. Right where most other guys nowadays seem to be, single. Is it really worth gambling with your life?

On 12/6/2023 at 10:18 PM, VVS said:

Yes, but you can’t be lowkey about that’s definitely going to get you friendzoned.

Low key it’s fast lane to the friendzone but high key it’s risking prison. What a shit show. No wonder two thirds of men are single now. Time to start investing in Realdoll and cat food stocks 

Edited December 8, 2023 by Emotionalmosquito

[Chives99]

@Emotionalmosquito  I dont think you realise how difficult it is for women to prove rape, many dont bother because they dont want their lives dragged before the court and to be interrogated by the police to see if they're lying. A woman has been locked up in the uk for  eight and a half years for lying about rape and being held in sex trafficking ring framing several innocent men, she even went as far as to hit herself in the face with a hammer to fake injuries ( who the fuck does that , thats gonna bloody hurt) its cases like that which make it so hard to be believed for a woman . One woman lured multiple men into pub toilets then try get attention by saying it was rape, but the police can psychologically identifiy lies and the cctv showed her laughing after the encounter so you wouldn't be laughing if you had just been raped, another case where someone seeking attention and trying to ruin mens lives has made it so difficult for real victims to be believed 

Edited December 8, 2023 by Chives99

[bebotalk]

On 26/11/2023 at 0:36 PM, SQAAD said:

Today, i spoke to a beautiful woman. The conversation went fine. But as we were about to leave.. i touched her super briefly on the shoulder... 

She didn't seem to be bothered by it.. But later i was thinking maybe.. this was not the best move to make.. because i know that this move is good for creating friendships and i don't want her to view me as just another friend..

Any thoughts???

Where did you learn this from? It depends on various factors, whether personal or cultural. Or situational. 

Some people don't like to be touched. Others don't mind. Others find it too impersonal. Depending on her own sensibiltiies, it's difficult to say in any broad or absolute sense that this can symbolise friendship. 

[numbersinarow]

This title and 48 replies. That's all you need to know about the state of the world.

[Yimpa]

The best place to touch a women, is her heart.

Then feel free to give her as many shoulder massages as you please.

[Fabio]

Ive made out with girls in less than a minute of meeting them multiple times in night clubs. Your at all times gauging her receptivity of your advances and testing with touch to see how comfortable she is during a conversation or something. And slowly take it further haha Touching the shoulder can be a way to test interest. She might touch you back, that can be permission to progress further and see how she responds to that. Maybe dancing if its appropriate, maybe she'll grab your hands, every moment/ situation is unique. Just pay attention to the moment. 

Edited December 10, 2023 by Fabio

[Yimpa]

@Fabio how do you tell the difference if a woman is setting a serious boundary or just teasing you? For example, if she says “don’t make it weird”?

[Optimized Life]

You should poke her in the ass instead.

[Princess Arabia]

11 hours ago, Fabio said:

Ive made out with girls in less than a minute of meeting them multiple times in night clubs

Drinking was she...not that hard.

[Yimpa]

Having your hand near a girl’s shoulder does do wonders

 

[Fabio]

On 2023-12-10 at 5:58 AM, Yimpa said:

@Fabio how do you tell the difference if a woman is setting a serious boundary or just teasing you? For example, if she says “don’t make it weird”?

"dont make it weird" might mean her friends are watching or she's embarrassed of how many people are watching. But I doubt she'd say that over touching her shoulder unless you like linger your arm there awkwardly long, you should be able to feel this distinction in the moment. You can tell if she's teasing you if she is still in a FUN vibe while saying it and not frowning or something. Always best to react in a relaxed, fun manner. 

If you ask her to walk to a different part of the venue and she comes, then she likely is into you at some level. You can walk somewhere more private and then try to physically escalate with her a bit and see how she responds without her friends watching (Its usually obvious to me when shes interested in making out by the way she stands less than a foot away from me).  If you move in closer and she moves back, that is low interest. If she doesn't react or smiles, your still good. If you touch her in a way she is uncomfortable with, she'll likely excuse herself from the conversation and she won't come back. Don't chase, and move on to someone else. Or she'll ask you to stop, and then you stop and continue the conversation as if it hasn't happened and maybe later she touches you a bit but most likely if she told you to stop, within 5 minutes the conversation will fizzle out. Its a sign of low sexual interest. Move on to someone else. 

 

 

Edited March 16 by Fabio

[Fabio]

On 2023-12-10 at 2:41 PM, Princess Arabia said:

Drinking was she...not that hard.

Ya, but not always a lot. Ive dated a girl for a month while travelling that happened with. Clearly the alcohol wasn't the only factor in her attraction

Edited March 16 by Fabio

[Mada_]

Try find the Kino Escalation Ladder pdf on google.