Is It Ok To Touch On The Shoulder A Woman I Find Attractive?

[Yimpa]

Just now, Princess Arabia said:

Sure but one is delusion. Which is OK, if you want to play the game from that angle.

Yes, seeing yourself as one seperate person from one other seperate person is the delusion.

[Princess Arabia]

27 minutes ago, Jannes said:

You need experience with physical escalation. I am really unexperienced with it as well which is why even a move like this could come accross as awkward. It should be casual/ natural/ not a big deal. Start with less sensitive body parts like the arms or also the shoulders and see how she reacts. 

Less sensitive? In your eyes. Some people are sensitive to toes, feet, necks, noses, knees, whatever part. So saying start with less sensitive body parts doesn't really say much as far as knowing what parts are more sensitive.But I get what you're suggesting. 

[Yimpa]

@Princess Arabia I’m personally really sensitive to even just a hug or a handshake. Both those gestures can be considered platonic or not.

[Jannes]

3 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Less sensitive? In your eyes. Some people are sensitive to toes, feet, necks, noses, knees, whatever part. So saying start with less sensitive body parts doesn't really say much as far as knowing what parts are more sensitive.But I get what you're suggesting. 

I think there are more nerves on some parts of the body then others although there is genetic variation to a degree of course. But also some body parts are just more intimate than others. The leg especially the inside of the leg will be a lot more intimate then the arm or the shoulder. So that's why I think it can be applied as a strategy, because where sensitivity and intimacy on body parts is is still relatively similar for most people but correct me if I am wrong. 

[Jannes]

3 hours ago, Yimpa said:

@Princess Arabia I’m personally really sensitive to even just a hug or a handshake. Both those gestures can be considered platonic or not.

But the leg or belly would be a lot stronger right?

[Yimpa]

2 hours ago, Jannes said:

But the leg or belly would be a lot stronger right?

The bottom line is sensitivity is beyond specific body parts. 

Reducing women down to just their body parts and how sensual it looks is creepy and weird. 

[Yimpa]

Consent is important, and it’s not just about verbal consent. It’s also intuitive and telepathic. Most people lack a holistic synergy with all these vital skills.

[Emotionalmosquito]

6 hours ago, Yimpa said:

and it’s not just about verbal consent.

It needs to be. It needs to change from the guy sometimes being required to intuitively know if he has the green light to always verbally asking and getting a verbal answer in order to know. This feeling it out and reading vibes horse shit just doesn’t cut it, too much room for error which can cause you MASSIVE trouble. If I ever make it that far, I’m making her sign a consent form with the date, time, exact agreement to what’s being consented and both of our full names. I’m not playing around anymore, the game has become far too dangerous to take lightly. Of course she could still tear you to shreds in court if she really wanted to by pulling the retroactive consent card, but at least it’s better than not taking the extra precaution, and orders of magnitude better than relying on vibe consent. 

On 11/26/2023 at 8:27 AM, MarkKol said:

Depending on how smooth you are you can also touch her face and hips.

That’s ridiculously risky man. Place your hands on the wrong girl’s hips and that’s a sexual harassment charge 

[Spiral]

Definitely overthinking. Touching is an effective method.

[Yimpa]

1 hour ago, Spiral said:

Touching is an effective method.

And touching isn’t just physical. You can also touch somebody emotionally.

I do well when it comes to touching someone emotionally, but physical touching is something I am severely deficient in.

I’ve started learning to love touching myself, first and foremost.

[Yimpa]

I don’t trust touching others because I don’t trust touching myself.

Whenever I look in the mirror I see something wrong with me. I can’t touch or connect with something wrong.

However, I’ve been working on embracing what I see in that mirror, instead of hyperfixating on flawed ideas of me. In doing so, I learn to touch and love others in a more holistic way as well.

[Chives99]

you can't logically formulate it, you have to respond to things in the moment and respond to social cues and body language the vast majority of social interaction is non verbal, words are just like sign posts and their meaning changes so much based on a myriad of factors. Its hard when you're overly logical cause social interaction and emotions aren't logical at all

[Yimpa]

28 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

Its hard when you're overly logical cause social interaction and emotions aren't logical at all

I’ve dated plenty of people with mood swing issues.

Logically, it’s no wonder why my relationships always feel like a nauseating roller coaster!

[Rahul 2paradox]

A shoulder touch is  a fine move in beginning. It usually builds the trust ( if she's not a - don't touch me eww type )  other body parts can be too early , so starting with shoulder it's fine. You gonna have to touch her a some point later on , so get these basics done as early as possible saving yourself further awkwardness. 

While talking to her just believe in your mind that u'r  the best person she"ll ever talk to and that she already likes you , it will transfer in your conversation too , don't leave the blank space in between being in your mind and analyzing everything in the moment. 

Remember Leo's words - " logic don't matter when your talking to girls" , just focus on escalating her emotions , how you make her feel is important, not what your talking about. It's just the emotions and feels , not intellect or logic which attracts her. 

Don't overthink much. Even if your not confident and end up touching her shoulder creepily , you know she would be able to sense easily that u'r faking and under confident , otherwise if you very natural and in your zone, if you get very close, she"ll be fine. 

Edited November 28, 2023 by Rahul 2paradox

[Yimpa]

Rub her shoulder a bit, and simply explain as you’re doing so that you’re removing some lint you see on her shirt.

If she is not wearing a shirt with sleeves, tap her shoulder 3 times and mention how her shoulder reminds you of a hotel bell and how you were calling her for assistance. 

When the timing is right, hit her with the punchline:

Ask her, which way to the elevator? Shall we elevate this date, babe?

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Yimpa said:

Rub her shoulder a bit, and simply explain as you’re doing so that you’re removing some lint you see on her shirt.

If she is not wearing a shirt with sleeves, tap her shoulder 3 times and mention how her shoulder reminds you of a hotel bell and how you were calling her for assistance. 

When the timing is right, hit her with the punchline:

Ask her, which way to the elevator? Shall we elevate this date, babe?

Lol. You go playboy. You got game. No wonder you're always breaking up. Just kidding! But the lint part we can spot a mile away.

[Yimpa]

1 minute ago, Princess Arabia said:

Lol. You go playboy. You got game. No wonder you're always breaking up. Just kidding! But the lint part we can spot a mile away.

Jokes can make or break a relationship, that’s for sure 

Will Smith and Chris Rock is one of the best love stories ever made out.

[mr_engineer]

On 11/26/2023 at 6:06 PM, SQAAD said:

Today, i spoke to a beautiful woman. The conversation went fine. But as we were about to leave.. i touched her super briefly on the shoulder... 

She didn't seem to be bothered by it.. But later i was thinking maybe.. this was not the best move to make.. because i know that this move is good for creating friendships and i don't want her to view me as just another friend..

Any thoughts???

This is not the important question to ask. 

The important question to ask is - how connected did she feel with me? Was I vulnerable enough with her, did I authentically put myself on the table, did I show her who I really am and what she would be signing up for, if she were to be with me? 

If you're unsure about the touch-thing, don't worry about that. Figure out other areas in which you can be authentic with women. 

Leo talks about the concept of 'hook-point' in his series on how to get laid. I will add one more layer to that concept - there is a difference between a 'shallow hook' and a 'deep hook'. Depending on what you want, you'd choose which one to go for. If you just want to get laid, you may get away with a shallow hook. Can't do much more on a one-night stand anyways. But, if you want an attachment-relationship, you want to form a deep hook. That is how you get someone to stick around. You make this 'deep hook' the foundation of your relationship and you build on it. 

[Yimpa]

@mr_engineer Embrace for a lot of deep risks and fears as well. 

Also, labels are just that. Labels. For example, you can be in a marriage of 15 years and still have a relationship that is shallow. Another could be in a 1 month relationship with no labels and could be extremely deep.

Not saying one is better than the other, just pointing out the paradoxical nature of relationships.

[Mada_]

Nah very dangerous she could bite you