I had a revelation, recently! My folks and I were driving around Miami at night witnessing the beauty and magnitude of the great city. I've lived in Miami all my life and was born in it. There's a lot of opportunities here but it's become a pretty expensive city to live in. Anyway, we were driving through the streets of Brickell, Coral Gables and many other parts of the city. I saw all kinds of people from groups of attractive women to couples to bums and everything in between. I've got a strong feeling I'd end up living under a tree if my parents weren't around. I have this deep overwhelming fear of just about everything you can think of that keeps me from living life to the fullest. I start to shake, stutter, sweat and experience racing thoughts around people (especially women). My biggest fear is ending up as a bum just waiting in a curbside for death to come and take me. If I gave a list of all my fears deeply imbedded in my mind, we'd be here forever. My life is a never ending nightmare!
I've been able to cope with my sex life through escorts and strippers because I know it doesn't take much effort on my part. I mentioned this in a recent thread. That aside, if I wasn't afraid at all I would've conquered the earth a long time ago (not literally, it's a figure of speech). Exposure doesn't seem to do the trick or be as effective as I'd hoped. It only works if outcomes of the actions I take are positive if that makes sense. For example, the simple act of saying hello to strangers or women is extremely difficult for me to do. I'm to locked within my own mind. I won't say hello unless I'm 100% certain their reaction is positive. The mind is such a complex thing to get around. I've watched Leo's 2 part series on Fear and it was easing to watch. It gives me hope that this problem is fixable.
I've educated myself in every manner possible when it pertains to Psychedelics. In fact, it's pretty much all I do and all I've been doing for a while now. I've listened to some of the greatest pioneers in the field such as Terence McKenna, Timothy Leary, Ram Dass, Aldous Huxley and many others. I've read dozens of trip reports from others on Erowid.org, Reddit and other platforms. I have experience with Magic Mushrooms & Cannabis (more of a Semi-Psychedelic). I have yet to try other Psychedelics such as LSD, DMT & Mescaline. I have nothing but love and respect for these substances. One of the main reasons I got into Spirituality and Psychedelics was to Transcend Fear as a whole. I firmly believe that's possible to achieve or at the very least temporarily achieve this.
I call Psychedelics "A Gift From The Gods" to put it poetically!!!
That being said, I feel in my gut that this is the solution to overcoming many obstacles and mental barriers. I don't claim to be awaken by any stretch of the imagination. I'm far from it if anything. My hope lies in The Psychedelic Experience!