Want To Share An Experience

[nightrider1435]

So recently I switched my mediation method from "do nothing" to "concentrate on the breathe", and I've been getting good at it lately. I was mediating earlier today for an hour, and I was concentrating pretty damn hard towards the end of it. I must had started to tap into some fear I had within me because I could feel fear go across my body. I continued to stay aware of it until my session was over, and it didn't let up either.                  

 After I was done mediating I sat on my bed in my room and I started to concentrate on the  knob on my closet door, just straight hardcore focus on breathing and on this door knob. After doing this for awhile that fear started to surface again but I continued to keep my focus on point. My awareness of the ego just kept increasing and increasing and I started to realize of much the ego has a grip on experience, it has a firm fucking grip! My ego fucking hated it too haha, that fear got so intense that I had to stop grounding myself so hardcore into the present moment because it got to a point where my heart was just straight pounding. I was able to step back as awareness and just observe the ego on a whole another level that I haven't experienced yet.                                                                  

  My mindfulness is really starting to get on a whole new level here. I really need to start reading some books because I feel pretty ignorant to the things I'm starting to become aware of, basically not understanding what the fuck is going on here, I need to deepen my understanding on a lot of things. 

 

 

Edited April 3, 2017 by nightrider1435