Are you the architect of your own opportunities?

[numbersinarow]

If you can't control what others do directly, it means there's always a 1% chance even under the most optimistic possible worldview that every woman irrationally hates you, as long as any form of irrationality or hatred exists.

But is there a 1% chance in the pessimist's worldview that he will actually be able to get a gf? It's true too. It's just that it doesn't happen unless you have opportunities.

What is my situation? (I've covered the specifics in my previous thread.)

Cold approaching? No. Dating apps? No for multiple reasons. Cafes? Night cafes are filled 95% with men (who look like 2014-style failed rock band rejects).

If you don't have women approaching you, for reasons which we know are exclusively bad faith or land on misandry or don't have a grasp of the fact that it's extremely socially inappropriate for a man to approach, because if you're in the winner category or observing it, then you're drawing conclusions which exclusively apply to it... then the reasonable conclusion is that you must change your worldview. Now it is a different type of agent who's intimacy you are seeking, one that isn't using free will in the way you thought. Full stop.

[something_else]

12 minutes ago, numbersinarow said:

or don't have a grasp of the fact that it's extremely socially inappropriate for a man to approach

It's only socially inappropriate if you do it in the wrong places, or you have awful social skills. Or maybe if you live in a very very conservative country. These are all barriers that can be overcome.

Like probably 80% of relationships that exist today started from a man approaching a woman, so calling it socially inappropriate is just wrong.

 

[numbersinarow]

40 minutes ago, something_else said:

It's only socially inappropriate if you do it in the wrong places, or you have awful social skills. Or maybe if you live in a very very conservative country. These are all barriers that can be overcome.

Like probably 80% of relationships that exist today started from a man approaching a woman, so calling it socially inappropriate is just wrong.

A 5/10 (ironically in a leftist "matriarchy" and not, like you say, a conservative country) approaching a woman is not socially inappropriate... because of what? And if you agree cold approaching on the street doesn't work, then re-read the post to see the implications of that.

[something_else]

1 hour ago, numbersinarow said:

A 5/10 (ironically in a leftist "matriarchy" and not, like you say, a conservative country) approaching a woman is not socially inappropriate...

I've met a fair few guys who would probably objectively be considered less than 5/10 do pretty damn well with women in cold approach scenarios. Mostly they just talk to everyone, know how to put women at ease, and have some charm. All of these are skills that can be learnt regardless of looks.

Do they do as well as a good looking guy with the same charm? Maybe not, but it's certainly not considered socially unacceptable for them to approach women.

1 hour ago, numbersinarow said:

And if you agree cold approaching on the street doesn't work, then re-read the post to see the implications of that.

I think it can work, but it requires good social skills. The risk is higher so for most guys it's probably better to just go to places where it's socially acceptable for the sexes to intermix.

In a night club or bar for example, it's actually creepier and less socially acceptable to sit at the side by yourself than it is to talk to lots of people, even if you have sucky social skills.

[Tenebroso]

You are in charging of making an effort to give yourself a chance. However, I agree it's not really in your hands. Many guys spend their whole trying and get nothing while objectively abusive, violent terrible drains on society live in sexual abundance. Life isn't fair. There is no formula do x,y,z to guarantee sexual and romantic success. Especially with the unprecedented freedom of choice women have now, we are seeing their true desires and most men don't make the cut regardless of how kind, gentle, funny, intelligent, clean and spiritually evolved they are.

[CARDOZZO]

You should try it