Why do we men feel worse after masturbation/sex?

[ShardMare]

We crave women, sex all the time. But after we get it there are feelings of anxiety and depression.

Is it just simple neurology? This is how our brain and dopamine works? 

So should we use sex just for making children? 

This is a simple question but I masturbate really rarely but its always the same cycle. Its a craving and after its done the mood drops a lot.

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

This reminds me of a saying about procrastination I once read somewhere:

Procrastination is like masturbation. It feels really good in the beginning, but in the end you realize that you just fucked yourself.

[Yimpa]

Using masturbation and sex as a way to escape deeper connection with yourself is the problem.

[Princess Arabia]

53 minutes ago, ShardMare said:

We crave women

That's it right there. You're searching for a particular feeling you once experienced and long for again. Maybe a certain sexual experience. You can't generate that feeling from within on your own so now you crave for someone else to. You are let down because you didn't feel that feeling you had once before. You get depressed and unsatisfied. You ejaculate from the bodily functions but that's just physical. 

I can guarantee you, you had a very wonderful, ecstatic moment of sexual pleasure in the past. You are trying to duplicate that. Let go the attachment to that feeling and you won't feel so bad after and just enjoy it for what it is. Choose women you enjoy and who makes you feel wanted and desired. 

If you use sex for just making babies, you'll be the most babied species on the planet. Then you'll really have something to be depressed about.

[Tenebroso]

It just reaffirms your failure to do what should be natural, which is attracting a mate. However, many men today regardless of what self-improvement they do will not attract anyone. There is not someone for everyone.

[meta_male]

I can't say it's the same for me, I feel energized afterwards. It sounds like you're somehow ashamed about your sexuality. 

[something_else]

2 hours ago, ShardMare said:

But after we get it there are feelings of anxiety and depression.

It may be an issue for some men but I would not frame this as a problem that all men face.

It sounds like you have some guilt/shame around sex which is not so healthy.

[Rafael Thundercat]

Is just a genetic engenering issue. Man keep ojas or vital force via keeping the balls relatively full but when you spit your sperm out is like taking out the plug of the bathtub, the water goes away, till you get more goo again. 

[The0Self]

I’ve sometimes noticed the same with porn, but with the highlight reel or fantasizing (masturbation without porn), if anything it raises the mood in a similar albeit lesser fashion as sex. Makes me think porn might not be a great thing for men, so I avoid it for the most part.

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

2 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

If you use sex for just making babies, you'll be the most babied species on the planet. Then you'll really have something to be depressed about.

That's wisdom for the ages right there.

[Osaid]

Speak for yourself.

2 hours ago, meta_male said:

I can't say it's the same for me, I feel energized afterwards.

Yeah, I always say it feels like I just stepped out of a shower.

Maybe much of the population is on a spectrum of POIS, or placebo fueled by shame and judgment.

Edited November 21, 2023 by Osaid

[hyruga]

I guess it's a feeling of guilt. When you have sex, you are supposed to offer something in return like providing for her or giving protection/security to her and if you don't give these, you are just a taker.

Edited November 22, 2023 by hyruga

[Yimpa]

@hyruga you don’t have to do that, but it certainly is a less selfish form of sex.

[koops]

Not everyone feels bad after.

Maybe is not the masturbation, but the shame or guilt after it.

Careful with this.

[Davino]

You feel like shit because it takes so much strain in your body to create sperm again. It is such a costly process in all levels of the human being.

So much vitamins and components from each organ is taken out. Energetically and spiritually is also very demanding to create millions of replicas of you.

I did not find clarity till I read this book and the possibility of sex without ejaculation demistified: Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy

I'm thinking about making a post about the author Mantak Chia, for being the first one (after really too much search) to explain how SEX and sexual energy REALLY work.

 

[Yimpa]

Intimacy with a fantasy is not the same as intimacy with God.

[something_else]

2 hours ago, Davino said:

You feel like shit because it takes so much strain in your body to create sperm again. It is such a costly process in all levels of the human being.

I’m pretty sure this is false. Your body produces sperm at a more or less constant rate whether you ejaculate or not because existing sperm die off in your body.

And yea it contains a lot of different minerals, but in quite small quantities. And if you have even a reasonably balanced diet you should not be in short supply of those minerals.

[UnbornTao]

Do you?

A bit tired, perhaps, not worse. Or rather relieved, like after a good sneeze.

[The0Self]

On 11/22/2023 at 4:56 AM, hyruga said:

I guess it's a feeling of guilt. When you have sex, you are supposed to offer something in return like providing for her or giving protection/security to her and if you don't give these, you are just a taker.

If you’re super awesome, just spending time with her in the first place is giving her way more than she’d get if she wasn’t with you.

[Someone here]

Masturbation feels good . But doesn't feel right .not sure how . 

Its one hell of a existential question to ponder.