Is there a point I need to surrender to mediocrity?

[Yimpa]

@Thought Art amen to that. I can relate to that a lot. 

Good to know I’m not alone in that, despite what others may claim is the opposite case.

(replying to):

Quote

My trauma from growing up in a home with alcoholism and mental health issues in my parents I think set me back years as an adult. I’m also not neurotypical and working to mature into my brain is a thing.

My parents are not educated.
 

In life you have to work with the cards you are dealt.

 

Edited November 23, 2023 by Yimpa

[Thought Art]

@Yimpa I think it’s a common thing. A large foundational part of personal growth is that healing of the scars left by our upbringing. Trauma is a real thing and so, healing it, gaining experience and learning new ways of being and behaving is a process that does often take years. 
 

We live in a traumatized society. This actually makes it hard see what real success is as many successful business people are doing it out of some kind a trauma. Also, many people who could have done well otherwise get left behind in the wake of parents who themselves were traumatized.
 

I think, I want a deep meaningful and deeply rooted and balanced form of success. Which, who knows may look mediocre on the outside at the end of the day but if people knew what I went through to get to this place of deep health, and wealth… 

It’s hard to see how your upbringing affects you holistically as well. To develop a solid character and… to develop a healthy Integrated centre takes time. I may be behind in some ways but… I know my investment will pay off. 

Edited November 23, 2023 by Thought Art

[Yimpa]

6 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

Which, who knows may look mediocre on the outside at the end of the day but if people knew what I went through to get to this place of deep health, and wealth… 

We tend to make a lot of assumptions about someone without really getting to  know them; without being open to their perspective and how they view the world. I’m guilty of it as well. However, awareness and acknowledgement of this way of treating others definitely goes a long way. 

[Thought Art]

@Yimpa A well grounded, mature person who takes care of themselves, their career, and their family is an unsung hero you know.  Someone who does the work to develop maturity, integrity and a sober mind. Someone who their family and community can depend on. That’s a valuable thing. Becoming rock solid is a worthy goal. 
 

I am not sure if I want a kid. But, if I did I would be the dad I never had. 
 

My dad was always drunk and angry about work. He did a lot for us as his job was hard but supported us. he was uneducated and had no real coping strategy other than drinking. But, being scared of Dad everyday definitely fucked up my nervous system and ability to relate with people. Mom and dad always fighting. They also have lines they say over and over again like bad NPCs which is strange. I picked up so much limiting beliefs from them… it’s hard to over come that stuff. Never being hugged growing up. It was all hard. My parents loved me but because of their own upbringings could not show it to us. Me and my sister talk a lot about the traumas we have growing up. I know she still struggles. She’s a social worker/ life coach. But, struggles so the depression and anxiety as well. 

My parents inability to socialize and trust people shaped my perceptions of things and I’m still working on unlearning their nonsense.

But, my parents did a lot for me as well. Supported me in doing sports, fed me, clothed me, got me tutored so I can read because I struggled to learn in elementary school. That tutor and learning phonetics was probably the best thing to happen to me. I had at least grade 12 reading level since grade 5. 
 

I ended up looking for love in the wrong places. My attachment style is all fucked up too. But, improving slowly.

 

It’s all gonna take time. Lots of truth facing.
 

The vast majority of people will never be able to have a large impact. But, that shouldn’t disqualify their success, nor the challenges of achieving that. 
 

I just need to persist. 

Edited November 23, 2023 by Thought Art

[Hardkill]

26 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

@Yimpa A well grounded, mature person who takes care of themselves, their career, and their family is an unsung hero you know.  Someone who does the work to develop maturity, integrity and a sober mind. Someone who their family and community can depend on. That’s a valuable thing. Becoming rock solid is a worthy goal. 
 

I am not sure if I want a kid. But, if I did I would be the dad I never had. 
 

My dad was always drunk and angry about work. He did a lot for us as his job was hard but supported us. he was uneducated and had no real coping strategy other than drinking. But, being scared of Dad everyday definitely fucked up my nervous system and ability to relate with people. Mom and dad always fighting. They also have lines they say over and over again like bad NPCs which is strange. I picked up so much limiting beliefs from them… it’s hard to over come that stuff. Never being hugged growing up. It was all hard. My parents loved me but because of their own upbringings could not show it to us. Me and my sister talk a lot about the traumas we have growing up. I know she still struggles. She’s a social worker/ life coach. But, struggles so the depression and anxiety as well. 

My parents inability to socialize and trust people shaped my perceptions of things and I’m still working on unlearning their nonsense.

But, my parents did a lot for me as well. Supported me in doing sports, fed me, clothed me, got me tutored so I can read because I struggled to learn in elementary school. That tutor and learning phonetics was probably the best thing to happen to me. I had at least grade 12 reading level since grade 5. 
 

I ended up looking for love in the wrong places. My attachment style is all fucked up too. But, improving slowly.

 

It’s all gonna take time. Lots of truth facing.
 

The vast majority of people will never be able to have a large impact. But, that shouldn’t disqualify their success, nor the challenges of achieving that. 
 

I just need to persist. 

Have you also thought about joining a movement or organization devoted to taking down corporate greed and eating the rich?

[Thought Art]

@Hardkill nope, that’s dumb in my opinion 

[Yimpa]

@Thought Art what you shared connects with what Patrick Teahan also shared today. 

Let’s keep up the awareness and opening up, oh yeah.

[LSD-Rumi]

On 11/21/2023 at 4:08 AM, LSD-Rumi said:

@Thought Art I have a rule implemented in my psyche. If I found myself suddenly living the worst life ever, I would work from there to improve my situation. This is my attitude towards life. If I someday waked up as a lazy homeless person with no skills and no money , I would work hard from there  to get things better. If I were a 60 years old who lead a life of a failure, I would get up and start improving my life.

Accept and improve, fail and try again, never die, never give up. Be a phenoix, rise from the dead, again and again.

Be positive, be patient, keep a vision in your mind, ignore negative thoughts, work hard and give it everything you got. 

This is what kept me alive to this point. I literally would have killed myself a long time ago if not for this rule.

Promise yourself never to give up.

 

@Thought Art I was certainly manic while writing this. Sorry about that, but the message is still valid.

[Thought Art]

@LSD-Rumi haha, didn’t come off that way. Hope your feeling well.

[UnbornTao]

Focus on mastering what you're interested in, whatever skill you feel drawn to.

Start now and keep moving towards that.

[Thought Art]

@UnbornTao I’m currently working on this cybersecurity certification through google. It pays well and I think will be rewarding. 
 

I’ll continue to cultivate my Qigong practice and YouTube channel as a hobby in the mean time. 
 

I need to focus on drastically increasing my income which cybersecurity seems to promise when I look at the labour statistics. 

[UnbornTao]

@Thought Art Ok, thanks for sharing, keep it up. 

[Thought Art]

@UnbornTao Thanks. I find sharing helps me process.

I got time to get things going. In the end, I think i'd rather create meaning and be happy instead of clinging to something like music, which won't ever work out.

[Tboy]

On 21/11/2023 at 0:31 AM, Thought Art said:

Okay Forum, 

 

I’m looking at where I am in life. 
 

I am 28 years old, balding. I’m living month to month at this moment annd working to change that.  Unfortunately student loans and a personal loan for a dumb marketing course have me in debt grid lock. I have a plan to pay off the debt, I’ve got a solid budget. My financial habits and psychology has vastly improved since investing in financial books and videos.I also have plans for savings, etc. 
 

This plan is to basically to reach ground zero common sense financially. I admit, I used to be a financial retard and I’ve been working to face the truth of my situation. Honestly I’ve been a retard in every area of my life: relationships, friendships, networking, business, spirituality, etc 
 

I have an accounting diploma to pay the bills. It’s not really my thing unfortunately. It’s milk toast.  Looking at doing cybersecurity. I’m putting money first, and not interest or purpose because I’m so tired of being broke. Soon… I’ll be 40 years old and then what? What did I live for? Leo talks about life purpose or doing work you find meaningful and that it’s not a luxury but, Leo also planned strategically and was never broke. Leo was intelligent and intentional unlike my dumb ass. 

I’m more interested in music and Qigong but I am at a point where these things will never be full time jobs. I’m thinking I’m too old and too busy just getting the basics. I feel pretty full of inner resources right now to solve my financial issues and get a better paying job. I know I have to meet life on its terms. I feel disheartened. Living a passionless life… just to survive…. I don’t want to be here. But, do I need to surrender to this reality? Is this some kind of learned helplessness? 
 

If life was just as simple as get a good paying job, follow financial common sense and get married well… I should have done that when I was 20. Instead I was traumatized, confused, spiritual seeking stoner artist with little common sense and a big brain. I’ve done a LOT of healing, learning, grounding. I feel I’ve matured so much over the past year especially and I do have a vision for wise and mature living. I’m just worried it’s gonna not be… a life purpose. 
 

My YouTube channel is an expression of purpose but… it doesn’t pay me money. 
 

I like the idea of escaping wage slavery but, chances are if I am here it’s too late and I’m doomed to be a wage slave. Which, I guess most people call a career, 😅. 
 

I am afraid I’ve doomed myself to mediocrity. Am I missing certain ingredients in my brain or something? I know I am smart and I can get to a decent place in the next couple of years. 

I can’t boil my whole life down to this awkward phase of self correct in my 20s. I just… I’m aware of how valuable my 20s were and they are behind me. It doesn’t feel great. I do feel behind. 
 

TLDR: Is it wiser to give up on life purpose to focus on just survival in my case? Learning to just enjoy working and living wisely instead of trying to make it as an artist or whatever?

Thanks,

You and I are in similar positions, I'm 28 and am currently working a wage slave job to fund myself while I do a lot of small bets and trauma healing to help me find and live my purpose (I already have more or less an idea of what it is from doing Leo's course, just don't know how it manifests exactly yet). Just tackle one thing at a time, you can do it! Just make sure you're taking time to calm yourself down properly and to strategize about your next steps and then trial and error your way through it. You will be fine, just never take your eye off the ball. Sort out survival and get to a point where you're consistently stable financially, take Leo's life purpose course - it's very good, it will help you understand what you want out of life and how to make it into a career, then just execute on that. If a mediocre life is not what you want, then you will never be happy. 

[Thought Art]

@Tboy Thanks. I have taken his course. It was a few years ago. I will retake it once I get my finances stabilized. I suspect I have grown a lot since I took it originally. 

I am also going to study happiness by reading the books on happiness on his reading list and contemplating what that is for me. I may actually be able to be happy just by meeting my needs, building healthy relationships, and being a craftsman in my career. Let's start there I think.

[Tboy]

yeah good stuff! Tbh if you want to become more happy though watch the Root Solution to people pleasing and loneliness video and the satisfaction meditation one after - those have very much changed my life and from what I can see will only make me more and more happy. 

 

Just keep your eye on the ball in terms of what you want to achieve, distraction is everywhere, so worth having a reflection session once a week or something about 

[trenton]

@Thought Art thank you for making this post. I'm 25 and in a similar position.

I feel like such a failure. I wanted to make a career out of chess only to realize that it is next to impossible to build a career doing what I would love. I have a ridiculous amount of anxiety everyday trying to figure what my career path should be.

should I just pursue money and become an engineer? Should I try to follow an alternative passion in emotional mastery? It seems difficult to make a viable career out of my interests. I don't know what to do. I have all this raging ambition and I feel trapped. My dreams are big and hard to actualize.

This issue makes it hard for me to not only enjoy chess, but it also makes it hard to enjoy life. Working for just survival seems bleak but that's what most people end up doing. There is a reason wage slavery is so prevalent.

The one thing I have going for me is that I am a saver. I saved up a good chunk of change from working at the grocery store. I paid off all of my debts from college. I still might need to go back, but it is so hard to make a clear plan. I see the long term financial problems if I ever want to get away from my family. I'm lost at what I could even do with that freedom of i am stuck at the same job.

I need a career coach to help me make a plan. This raging ambition is killing me because I feel like such a waste of talent and potential. I lose sleep at night because of this.

[teraflu]

On 2023-12-03 at 5:28 PM, trenton said:

This issue makes it hard for me to not only enjoy chess, but it also makes it hard to enjoy life. Working for just survival seems bleak but that's what most people end up doing. There is a reason wage slavery is so prevalent.

dealing with very similar issues, droping studies for the third time to seek for passion that will require enormous amounts of work. anxiety of trying to figure out the meaning of life mixed with career, my role in society, role of money, importance of the impact on other people, family, energetical changes of the body, consciousness and society.

 

maybe stepping back from these energies a bit and focusing for a moment on something else could help you have a mind clarity to come back with a fresh perspective on this later

[Yimpa]

 

[Thought Art]

@Yimpa get out of here