Can Men And Women Just Be Friends?

[Ariel]

I was just wondering. I have heard people that say that it's not possible because there is always attraction from one side.

I have also seen some researches online that say that most men think there is something more than the friendship and women thougth that it's a clear friendship.

I have no idea. Women apperantly can put me in the "friendzone" and I could get stuck.

[Shin]

if both aren't needy people, why not.

Edited April 2, 2017 by Shin

[Spiral]

yup i'm male and straight and i have a few female friends, so i guess it's possible.Some of them have boyfriends, hell one is even married and I've got a girlfriend. Might be more difficult if you're single but not impossible.

I would recommenced avoiding the ones that really attract you, if you are not used to having female friends. Can get strange otherwise...

@Shinawww cute dog

[Loreena]

Intraspecies friendship ...friendzoned...

[electroBeam]

@Ariel I'm not sure about your country, but in my country its actually normal for men and women to be friends with each other.

In fact I've slept in the same bed as a woman who I'm friends with. We can be close and friends.

[egoeimai]

Υears ago I was saying strictly no. They cant be.

But I think that is possible,and yes they can be friends If there's no attraction.Any kind of attraction.

That doesn't mean they will never think about sex.

[Toby]

Depends on what kind of friendship and who you ask.
This is a funny video though:

 

[Salaam]

I have a shitload of female friends.

And even if we have sex, we're still friends.

Heck, my wife is my best friend.

I think a crux to this debate, is how well people can keep sexuality as a kind of ember glowing in the background. So it adds color to an interaction, but doesn't overwhelm and derail it. I guess this comes with being able to handle more and more sexual tension in a comfortable way, rather then it turning a person awkward or into a dog ready to hump it's chew toy.

So many people are in the un-developed spectrum of this issue, that that status becomes the standard narrative in society, creating this shrouded belief that men and women can't be friends.

[abgespaced]

Men and women can be friends. But it will never be the same kind of friendship between same sex friends.

The reason: things have much greater potential to change once your opposite sex friend enters/leaves a relationship. The same is not true for your same sex friend.

[Actualized Disciple]

no

[clytaemnestra]

23 hours ago, electroBeam said:

I'm not sure about your country, but in my country its actually normal for men and women to be friends with each other.

In fact I've slept in the same bed as a woman who I'm friends with. We can be close and friends.

I also slept in the same bed with guys. Totally normal. 

 

On 03/04/2017 at 0:27 AM, Spiral said:

Shinawww cute dog

That was my first thought, super cute dog. 

[Toby]

15 minutes ago, clytaemnestra said:

I also slept in the same bed with guys. Totally normal.

One woman told me that she lay in bed with a guy and cuddled and then was surprised that he wanted something more. She really thought they were friends. She was like 28 and he was like 35 or something. Really funny what women think sometimes.

[Prabhaker]

49 minutes ago, Toby said:

he wanted something more. She really thought they were friends.

She can say ,'we are just friends'. These are ways, how to manipulate, how to starve, the other, how to make him more and more hungry.

The women go on pretending that they are not interested in sex, ugly sex.  They are as much interested as you are interested, but the problem is: they cannot show their interest, otherwise you immediately reduce them to powerlessness, you start using them. So they are interested in everything else, in being very attractive to you and then denying you. That is the joy of power. Pulling you -- and you are pulled almost as if pulled by strings -- and then saying no to you. Reducing you to absolute powerlessness. And you are wagging your tail like a dog -- then the woman enjoys. 

[Guest Annetta]

@Prabhaker Women don't enjoy playing this game, it is that society does not allow women to express desire.  If they do, then men are not interested because it takes away the hunting aspect.  Women have essentially become what men hunt in lieu of prey from our not-so-long-ago caveman ancestry.  
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As much as some of y'all men might wanna deny that aspect of yourselves, especially spiritually minded folks, the truth is most of you don't respect what is freely given.  Most likely the reason being is that you think if she gives it away so easily that you aren't special, or loved.  It is because women are supposed to be "unraveled".  To project an air of mystery.

Women usually do want to "just be friends".  They enjoy the company of men - because men do not compete with them - however there is usually an air of manipulation from both parties.  Women still want to be "treated" (they won't openly admit this, most of them) - even if they are just friends - and the man still secretly hopes something will happen.  When men and women make good friends are when both parties are in healthy relationships with another person.

Edited April 4, 2017 by Annetta

[Prabhaker]

3 minutes ago, Annetta said:

Women don't enjoy playing this game

I am not saying that they always play knowingly, there is subconscious desire to enjoy power. 

8 minutes ago, Annetta said:

If they do, then men are not interested because it takes away the hunting aspect.

Yes, she will become powerless, men will lose interest, his interest is in hunting. Women too is interested in winning other, her ways are passive. When she goes out for a party , she tries too look more attractive, than at her home, before her husband. 

If man and woman truly love each other, the ugly games of hunting will not happen. But we are so unconscious that we don't know love, we only know power politics and hunting.

[clytaemnestra]

8 hours ago, Toby said:

One woman told me that she lay in bed with a guy and cuddled and then was surprised that he wanted something more. She really thought they were friends. She was like 28 and he was like 35 or something. Really funny what women think sometimes.

Erm.. if I'd been cuddling with a guy in bed, I'd also be surprised if he wants something more in a sexual way, because I think it's not men's thing to initiate anything more. I find it disrespectful, because we know you're always up for sex, leave us women to initiate, so to avoid awkwardness of "erm, I didn't mean it that way, I love you, but as a brother". People cuddle sometimes as friends, give each other massage and so on. It's actually friendzone and it doesn't sound odd to me. 

 

[clytaemnestra]

7 hours ago, Prabhaker said:

The women go on pretending that they are not interested in sex, ugly sex.  They are as much interested as you are interested

Not actually. I'd prefer having someone to listen to me when I feel emotional and to cuddle with me, than to have sex. 
When you're an attractive woman, it's super easy to find sex. But to have someone who would listen to your shit and whom you can open your soul - very rare. 

[Shin]

2 minutes ago, clytaemnestra said:

Not actually. I'd prefer having someone to listen to me when I feel emotional and to cuddle with me, than to have sex. 
When you're an attractive woman, it's super easy to find sex. But to have someone who would listen to your shit and whom you can open your soul - very rare. 

Not it's not, but to think this man (if he's celibate) won't want to have sex with you after that, this is crazy, this is madness.

Unless you're unnattractive to him, there is no way he won't tempt something (maybe not this night, but later).

Maybe when a new world will be born, freed from sexual repression and indulgence, like Osho depict in its book, but otherwise, it is very naive to think this way.

[Prabhaker]

20 minutes ago, clytaemnestra said:

I'd prefer having someone to listen to me

A friend is more than a acquaintance, they listen to us, we like them as a human being, so we call them a 'friend'. 

[Toby]