Psychedelic Journey (Trip Reports)

[Clarence]

I'm finally back to give some updates on my experience with psychedelics. I haven't done so lately because I didn't have enough time to write trip reports and I needed to focus on myself, not on sharing my experience. I also realized that sharing a report for every trip was too difficult. One reason is that a trip can look a lot like another one, especially when described in words. Another reason is that the insights I have in some trips I don't feel comfortable sharing, and it would distill the trips too much to omit them.

So I will only share my experience when it feels right to do so. I still want to keep a psychedelic journal format and write down each trip I have, even if it's just making a note of the date and the substance. So here is the list of the last trips I had:

Trip 18: 4-AcO-DMT 20 mg, 03.25.24 (insufflated)
Trip 19: 4-AcO-DMT 30 mg, 04.04.24 (oral)
Trip 20: 5-MeO-MiPT 15 mg, 06.19.24
Trip 21: 5-MeO-MALT 20 mg, 06.24.24
Trip 22: 5-MeO-MiPT 15 mg, 07.09.24

Notes written on the 30th of September 2024:

To share my overall thoughts on the new psychedelics, I had extremely beautiful trips on 5-MeO-MiPT. I absolutely love this substance. It feels so right for me. I love the duration—which is longer than 5-MeO-DMT and 5-MeO-MALT, the visuals, the introspective state it brings me in (I had so many deep realizations on it) and the pure Love Consciousness it creates. It's mind-blowing. It made me realize that I AM LOVE. The words playing in my mind on this substance were not I Am God, but I Am Love. It was so deep and beautiful. It has helped me a lot to start loving myself too. I even had a taste of an Alien Form Of Love.

My experiences on 4-AcO-DMT were not as good. The first trip was too light—because I didn't take the substance properly, I think - and the second one started out well but ended up badly as I read a message during the come down which I didn't understand like I would have fully sober. Reading a message was a mistake that won't happen again. But overall, I felt disappointed because I had wished 4-AcO-DMT would have been more similar to magic truffles than it actually was in my first trips. But I definitely have to try it again, in better circumstances, to make myself a proper opinion of it. I will also try the plugging method to experience its purest form.

Notes of today:

Here is the list of the psychedelics I've taken this month:

Trip 23: 4-AcO-DMT 20 mg, 10.03.24
Trip 24: 4-AcO-DMT 15 mg, 10.16.24
Trip 25: 4-AcO-DMT 15 mg, 10.21.24

Trip 26: 5-MeO-MALT 17 mg, 10.28.24
Trip 27: 5-MeO-MALT 15 mg, 10.30.24
Trip 28: 5-MeO-MALT 20 mg, 10.31.24

4-AcO-DMT

First thing worth noting: I absolutely love 4-AcO-DMT. It's not exactly the same as magic truffles, but it's similar enough to really enjoy it. Psilocybin has been one of my favorite psychedelics, and I'm really happy to now have this substance, which is far easier to ingest.

I really love everything about it so far, but I still haven't tripped enough to have a full grasp of it. I consider writing a detailed trip report at some point. But some little notes I have about it so far is that:

• It is sedating
• It makes my nose itchy
• Tears fall down my eyes for no real reason
• I get pain in the heart area on higher dosages
• I get full body orgasms
• The visuals are very intense, especially on higher dosages
• There is a serious taste of weirdness in these trips, but that is what I love most, and that comes with very deep realizations.
• It also makes my mind very still at times, which is a greatly welcomed break from my daily non-stop thinking life.

My last trip was weaker than expected, which I think comes from the fact that I didn't wait long enough between the trips. I plan to trip on 15 mg again just to test again that dosage. Then I will raise the dose.

I learned that having trips at lower dosages contributes to understanding and going deeper within one substance. I tend to desire to take more in order to get more, but it is not necessarily how it works. Going lower helps build foundations. It is easier for me to accept that now that I have many more opportunities to trip than I had when I started this thread. I was living with my mother and my grandmother, which I was taking care of everyday. I'm extremely sad that she is gone, but I can now do the things I couldn't do before. I am more sad, but more free.

5-MeO-MALT

I did the same, starting from lower, after a long break with it. It was especially good as I had terrible nausea on it for the first time ever (more about that here). I went even lower on the next trip, and then went back higher. It really helped me get more clarity on the substance, though it's not as mind-blowing as a full dose. I understand this substance a bit differently and better now and I'm ready to go deeper.

First of all, it's completely different from 4-AcO-DMT. I had forgotten how different it was. I don't like it as much, but it is very direct and pure to grasp what consciousness is. For that kind of work, it is great, but I need many more trips on it.

What's funny is that this psychedelic makes my all body vibrate, especially my arms and hands. I can literally see them tremble. When I stood up today to close the curtains, my arms were difficult to move, as if they were somewhat paralysed. It was weird, but not a big of a deal I think. When I am lying down, the vibrations are what's most impressive.

I was listening to the music @Jodistrict shared here and it was so perfect. I felt extremely good in my body, as if the music was massaging my brain and giving me mind orgasms. 

One realization I had on today's trip was that one of the deepest forms of corruption one can fall into was not being true to oneself. To me, it can manifests as to not fully being who I am (it can be very subtle) in order to please others or to get approval. I've fallen into this trap quite a lot. I sacrifice my true self in order to protect my lower self, my ego. Doing that doesn't help me grow. It is something I am becoming more and more conscious of. I need to let my higher self come to the forefront. I am not chasing money, sex or fame in my daily life, but I am chasing love, recognition, and approval. It all comes from ego and corrupts me all as much.

Trip Preparation And After Care

This last month, I've been developing my own routine to start a trip. It is very simple. I basically wake up at 7:30 AM, put on some comfortable clothes, go to the bathroom, prepare the syringe, and add more pillow on my bed. Then I find a comfortable position, plug the substance (often around 8 AM), and sit still until the trip has completely started.

On 4-AcO-DMT, I like to sit in front on my window during the come up. I look at the trees. It's a very beautiful view.

I now start my trips with the curtains open and the light on, but I still like when it is completely dark at times.

When the trip is over, I eat and drink a lot. I get extremely thirsty all day. Then I take care of my dogs and take some rest (30-60 minutes) before starting the day. I've been working a lot in the house lately. I'm far more productive now. I still don't know how to improve my after care routine. I feel like something is missing.

Well-Being And Purpose

I'm feeling much better in myself and in my life now that I have opportunities to trip weekly. Psychedelics, exploring and working towards understanding consciousness, is really a need for me. It is a purpose, and following through on this purpose makes me incredibly happy. It feels so good to finally be able to move forward. I feel much more grounded, present, and centered. The road towards full understanding is long, but my well-being has already considerably improved in just a month of tripping. 

Edited October 31, 2024 by Clarence