How Do You Deal With Self-image Issues That Come Up During The Work?

[Guest username]

When I do consciousness work, I often run into deep insecurities about my self-image. Will these resolve automatically once I understand what the self really is?

 

For example, I feel peaceful and calm, and I feel like I'm dropping the front that I put on in hopes of finding acceptance among others. In a way, I feel empowered, but in another way, I feel naked and insecure. I try dropping the facade and find out what's true, but dropping attachments to what is familiar feels so uncomfortable.

 

I'm afraid it will only make it hard for me to relate to most people. I find myself not caring about the titillation of every day life, of ordinary pleasures. I feel proud, but I feel like an outcast for pursuing truth over pleasure. I'm also scared that it won't work out for the best.

I don't really care about being "alpha" and banging lots of girls, like I'm "supposed to" as a young man. I'm simultaneously proud for pursuing the higher consciousness stuff I really care about, but I also feel some shame for not being more "normal". I don't want to do both right now either. I want to devote myself to the Truth. I still feel conflicted somehow.

I've posted things along these lines before, so excuse me if this is redundant, but I need to let this out among people I trust. 

Edited April 2, 2017 by username

[Nic]

Self worth is based in duality problems, we all have a negative image of our self and a positive image of our self, battling constantly in our heads. When self worth is low, the negative one wins over the positive one and vice versa. 

The trick is to notice and to recognize that you are not an image, this images wether they make you feel good or bad are just images, and you are not an image, you just have been putting your faith in beliefs, as Leo would say, you took the map for the territory. You are not a description of yourself. You are what you are, nothing more, nothing less. You are not a thought. 

Same as when people think good or bad about you. You are not a thought. Detach from the thinking process. Don't identify with it. 

Enjoy the freedom of being!

Edited April 2, 2017 by Nic

[Prabhaker]

41 minutes ago, username said:

I don't really care about being "alpha" 

Blessed are the poor,blessed are the meek, blessed are those who are standing last  because they will inherit the earth.

55 minutes ago, username said:

what the self really is?

The child is born with a Self but not with an ego. The child develops the ego. As he becomes more and more social and related, ego develops. This ego is just on your periphery where you are related with others – just on the boundary of your being. So ego is the periphery of your being, and Self is the center. The child is born with a Self, but unaware. He is a Self, but he is not conscious of the Self. 

The first awareness of the child comes with his ego. He becomes aware of the "I", not of the Self. Really, he becomes aware first of the "thou". The child first becomes aware of his mother. Then, reflectively, he becomes aware of himself. First he becomes aware of objects around him. Then, by and by, he begins to feel that he is separate. This feeling of separation gives the feeling of ego, and because the child first becomes aware of the ego, ego becomes a covering on the Self. 

Then ego goes on growing, because the society needs you as an ego, not as a Self. The Self is irrelevant for the society; your periphery is meaningful. And there are many problems. The ego can be taught and the ego can be made docile and the ego can be forced to be obedient. The ego can be made to adjust, but not the Self. The Self cannot be taught, the Self cannot be forced. The Self is intrinsically rebellious, individual. It cannot be made a part of society.

When ego is dropped, suddenly the self reveals itself. It is self-revealing. It does not happen easily. It is an arduous journey. Dropping the clinging to the known is not easy. That is our whole investment, that is our whole identity. 

[Dodo]

2 hours ago, username said:

When I do consciousness work, I often run into deep insecurities about my self-image. Will these resolve automatically once I understand what the self really is?

 

For example, I feel peaceful and calm, and I feel like I'm dropping the front that I put on in hopes of finding acceptance among others. In a way, I feel empowered, but in another way, I feel naked and insecure. I try dropping the facade and find out what's true, but dropping attachments to what is familiar feels so uncomfortable.

 

I'm afraid it will only make it hard for me to relate to most people. I find myself not caring about the titillation of every day life, of ordinary pleasures. I feel proud, but I feel like an outcast for pursuing truth over pleasure. I'm also scared that it won't work out for the best.

I don't really care about being "alpha" and banging lots of girls, like I'm "supposed to" as a young man. I'm simultaneously proud for pursuing the higher consciousness stuff I really care about, but I also feel some shame for not being more "normal". I don't want to do both right now either. I want to devote myself to the Truth. I still feel conflicted somehow.

I've posted things along these lines before, so excuse me if this is redundant, but I need to let this out among people I trust. 

Just reminding myself I am not the body. I sure as hell know what I am supposed to discover, the I doesn't exist. There is only consciousness, the one self. There is no place for self image problems here. We are one!

Edited April 2, 2017 by Dodoster

[zazed]

Short answer, Yes

I have this problem myself, so i'm the blind leading the blind here. Sometimes i can manage my low self image by being more present.
Borrowing from Eckhart Tolle here, a book Leo also recommends i believe.

In most situations, trying to realize there is only the Now, helps.
It's easy when life is good, to embrace the Now, just be present and enjoy what is. Our colleges and friends are not saying anything right now, perhaps they are not even around. Our past mistakes are not here Now, and anything about the future is just a story we tell our self, we should realize this. We just are, we exist. Our mind idea's are not relevant to enjoying the sunshine on our face, we can just let them go, and only be aware of the soothing warmth.

When life is challenging, it is harder. Realize we want to escape, we want it to be over, we want to fast-forward to where we are happy again.
What you are trying to escape may be a social situation, or a thought like "I find myself not caring about the titillation of every day life, of ordinary pleasures. I feel proud, but I feel like an outcast for pursuing truth over pleasure.". I have the same thoughts at times, don't worry about it, don't ever feel guilty for your thoughts (that defeats the purpose entirely), just let them go, gently. 
A big part of becoming enlightened, is not identifying with what your thinking. You have no control over your thoughts, you would never choose to have these negative thoughts about yourself, so just observe them, and let them fade (this is very hard tbh, meditation helps).

Realize this means you are living in the future or the past, you are telling yourself a story about how you are more awake than others. You are judging other people for not being awake. You probably are more awake, but its just not relevant when talking to other people. Be fully aware of what the other person is saying, he or she is here Now, happening Now. All the stories your mind is spinning up, are just not helping you now.

In the same time, if you have a low self image story in your head. Realize its just a thought. It is not happening now, it is not reality, it's a story you are telling yourself. Be aware of the Now, existence just IS. The mind story does not define you, you are reality itself.
You don't even like the low-self-image-thoughts, you certainly didn't choose them, otherwise you wouldn't ask this question here. So don't self-identify with them, they are not who you really are. You are existence happening Now.

In this way the practice will bring you closer to people, because you can stop living in your mind-stories about who you think you are.
You can be awake, and fully listen, you will understand people. By understanding you will be able to give deep insightful responses that will leave them breathless. You will become more successful in your career, studies, and any social interactions you do.

 

Do what you are doing Now, always. That is a big part of mindfulness.
Don't live inside your head, like I tend to do myself.

[Dodo]

2 hours ago, zazed said:

Short answer, Yes

I have this problem myself, so i'm the blind leading the blind here. Sometimes i can manage my low self image by being more present.
Borrowing from Eckhart Tolle here, a book Leo also recommends i believe.

In most situations, trying to realize there is only the Now, helps.
It's easy when life is good, to embrace the Now, just be present and enjoy what is. Our colleges and friends are not saying anything right now, perhaps they are not even around. Our past mistakes are not here Now, and anything about the future is just a story we tell our self, we should realize this. We just are, we exist. Our mind idea's are not relevant to enjoying the sunshine on our face, we can just let them go, and only be aware of the soothing warmth.

When life is challenging, it is harder. Realize we want to escape, we want it to be over, we want to fast-forward to where we are happy again.
What you are trying to escape may be a social situation, or a thought like "I find myself not caring about the titillation of every day life, of ordinary pleasures. I feel proud, but I feel like an outcast for pursuing truth over pleasure.". I have the same thoughts at times, don't worry about it, don't ever feel guilty for your thoughts (that defeats the purpose entirely), just let them go, gently. 
A big part of becoming enlightened, is not identifying with what your thinking. You have no control over your thoughts, you would never choose to have these negative thoughts about yourself, so just observe them, and let them fade (this is very hard tbh, meditation helps).

Realize this means you are living in the future or the past, you are telling yourself a story about how you are more awake than others. You are judging other people for not being awake. You probably are more awake, but its just not relevant when talking to other people. Be fully aware of what the other person is saying, he or she is here Now, happening Now. All the stories your mind is spinning up, are just not helping you now.

In the same time, if you have a low self image story in your head. Realize its just a thought. It is not happening now, it is not reality, it's a story you are telling yourself. Be aware of the Now, existence just IS. The mind story does not define you, you are reality itself.
You don't even like the low-self-image-thoughts, you certainly didn't choose them, otherwise you wouldn't ask this question here. So don't self-identify with them, they are not who you really are. You are existence happening Now.

In this way the practice will bring you closer to people, because you can stop living in your mind-stories about who you think you are.
You can be awake, and fully listen, you will understand people. By understanding you will be able to give deep insightful responses that will leave them breathless. You will become more successful in your career, studies, and any social interactions you do.

 

Do what you are doing Now, always. That is a big part of mindfulness.
Don't live inside your head, like I tend to do myself.

Reading this brought me to this aha! Thats what they mean by everyone is enlightened.

Everyone and everything is always in the present, but only few live from there.

[zazed]

@Dodoster That's the point exactly, yeah