5MeO DMT: Epic Journey and the Aftermath of Reflection

[shree]

Hi everyone,

I vaped 14mg of 5-MeO-DMT and underwent my third breakthrough. The experience felt like an intense celebration, reminiscent of a tribal gathering with wild dancing, singing, laughter, and an earth-shaking energy.

 

Upon returning to my egoic state, I experienced the familiar "WTF was thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis" sensation, leaving me breathless. However, alongside this awe, I noticed a lingering feeling of shame. I imagined that the entire city had somehow sensed or heard my intense celebration, I was concerned about people outside my hut checking on me and the possibility of police presence.

These paranoid thoughts are not in line with the peaceful reality of my trip. I reviewed a video recording of the experience, confirming that I quietly repeated words like "Thank you, Lord" and "Thank you, God" without outwardly disruptive behaviour.

 

Reflecting on this, I questioned why I feel shame about expressing my overwhelming joy and sharing the extraordinary nature of my experience. Since I typically trip alone, I have no immediate feedback on the volume of my reactions until I review the recorded footage. This awareness that I need to control my reactions detracts from the full enjoyment of the trip.

 

I am seeking advice on how to address and work through this lingering sense of shame and the need to control my reactions during such profound experiences.

Some dose of shame is healthy. Otherwise, we would all be running outside naked after those experiences, but I couldn't relax at all...

 

I never used any psychedelics except 5MeO DMT and 5MeO MALT.

 

Any help would be appreciated. 

 

 

[Leo Gura]

Completely losing control during a trip is genuinely dangerous. That's not a mistake. You do need to control some of your behavior.

Some behavior is dangerous, some is not. Make that distinction. Some behavior is also socially dangerous.

Edited November 13, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Yimpa]

@Leo Gura After one of my therapy assisted ketamine trips, I was feeling so much love that at one point I locked eyes with my therapist. Our eyes locked so intimately for a few moments, as if it was leading to something beyond the appropriate boundaries. As soon as I had the idea to start making out with her, I snapped myself out of it and moved on as if nothing had happened.

Edited November 13, 2023 by Yimpa

[Yimpa]

1 hour ago, shree said:

This awareness that I need to control my reactions detracts from the full enjoyment of the trip.

Having a sexual encounter with an authority figure is ill-advised, as I aforementioned.

But future trips have helped me discover that I can, in fact, build healthy relationships that are founded on truth and openness.

Edited November 13, 2023 by Yimpa

[Leo Gura]

5 hours ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

I didn't have to control myself in that situation.

That doesn't mean that will work in all the dangerous situations that may arise. There are many things you could do to hurt yourself which you would later regret.

Edited November 14, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Leo Gura]

14 hours ago, Yimpa said:

As soon as I had the idea to start making out with her, I snapped myself out of it

At least it wasn't the idea to stab her in the head with a knife.

[shree]

15 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Completely losing control during a trip is genuinely dangerous. That's not a mistake. You do need to control some of your behavior.

Some behavior is dangerous, some is not. Make that distinction. Some behavior is also socially dangerous.

I've observed that my behaviour on psychedelics has been socially acceptable, at least when I'm alone and unseen

I haven't encountered anything resembling a near-death experience so far with 14/15 mg

Should I expect those things on 20 mg? 

 

 

46 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

At least it wasn't the idea to stab her in the head with a knife.

Wtf 

[Yimpa]

2 minutes ago, shree said:

I haven't encountered anything resembling a near-death experience so far with 14/15 mg

Should I expect those things on 20 mg? 

You should expect a far different experience whether you decrease or increase your dose.

At least that’s how it is with me when it comes to substances. I’m very sensitive.

 

[Thought Art]

I’ve lost control on a trip or two. 
 

Please be very careful 

[halfknots]

A setting in which you are lovingly witnessed, in which you have full trust and freedom to surrender completely, is good for this work. Anything less and there will be lingering concern over whether or not what transpired is appropriate. Really, we see this guilt and shame come up even under the best circumstances, in the most beautiful settings with the most beautiful people holding us.

Ask yourself, why might that be? Why might it seem that in that most open state, our behavior or even our very existence might seem shameful? It could be simply the contrast in returning from unity consciousness into a state of non-zero shame in which even a single grain of salt is detectable in the pure water.

Edited November 14, 2023 by halfknots

[Yimpa]

15 hours ago, Thought Art said:

I’ve lost control on a trip or two. 
 

Please be very careful 

It’s just like building relationships… without setting intentional boundaries, shit can go south very fast.

[shree]

On 14/11/2023 at 3:53 PM, Yimpa said:

You should expect a far different experience whether you decrease or increase your dose.

At least that’s how it is with me when it comes to substances. I’m very sensitive.

 

Should I gradually increase my dose from 15mg or switch to 20mg immediately?

On 14/11/2023 at 5:34 PM, Thought Art said:

I’ve lost control on a trip or two. 
 

Please be very careful 

It can be difficult without a trip sitter, but I prefer to experience the trip alone in my sacred space. However, for my first breakthrough on 5MeO-DMT, I should consider having a sitter present. Do you agree?

 

On 14/11/2023 at 6:10 PM, halfknots said:

A setting in which you are lovingly witnessed, in which you have full trust and freedom to surrender completely, is good for this work. Anything less and there will be lingering concern over whether or not what transpired is appropriate. Really, we see this guilt and shame come up even under the best circumstances, in the most beautiful settings with the most beautiful people holding us.

It's difficult to find a setting that is truly isolated. I have a great place for tripping, but there is always a risk of being discovered if I have an intense trip. This makes it hard to fully relax. While I can prepare myself mentally for a 5MeO trip and be ready to accept whatever happens, the possibility of being judged after the experience is something that I cannot handle.

On 14/11/2023 at 6:10 PM, halfknots said:

Ask yourself, why might that be? Why might it seem that in that most open state, our behavior or even our very existence might seem shameful? It could be simply the contrast in returning from unity consciousness into a state of non-zero shame in which even a single grain of salt is detectable in the pure water.

During my recent trip, I had a significant realization. Shame is the most powerful negative emotion I have ever experienced in my life. It hit me the hardest when my ego resurfaced, and I felt like my celebration of existence was shaking the world. This feeling of shame made me realize that I need to work on understanding my emotions better. Thank you for pointing me in this direction.