Why do PUAs tell us things that are absurdly oversimplified or just blatantly false?

[flowboy]

On 16/11/2023 at 4:55 AM, Emotionalmosquito said:

It’s so aggravating that women have absolutely no understanding of this struggle men face nor do they give a single fuck. They’re too obsessed with themselves and whether or not they’re getting “the ick” to consider the suffering of the less fortunate gender. Nevertheless I shall get back on the horse and ride into battle against all odds. This brutality of this war has almost completely destroyed me despite not even completing 5% of it. It will take nothing short of a mega miracle to succeed. 

I've been at the place where I was really frustrated and couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong.

I wanted my friend who was better with women to teach me, but he didn't know what he was doing right.

And/or he didn't bother because he didn't take my pain seriously.

So, I will give you a tip of something I did that helped me massively.

You see, the problem is that regular women will not give you the feedback you need, because they're there to have fun not to help you, are not even conscious of what made them uncomfortable, a variety of reasons that makes them unideal practice subjects.

So here's what I did: I went to tantra workshops.

There, sexuality is confronted directly as a topic, and lots of direct feedback is being exchanged between genders.

Because the goal is to make connecting sexually a smoother experience for both, through becoming more conscious of our internal wirings and retraining them. (It's not said in those words on the marketing, but that's what it does.)

In particular, I recommend TNT's sexual deconditioning course.

That's the one that helped me the most.

But I would do the second one too.

I guarantee that it would get you out of the bind that you're in now by jumpstarting your intuitive calibration.

And after you pass that workshop, you get access to a whole social network of men and women who did that training, and are therefore more conscious and willing to give you even more feedback and do practice interactions with you.

Yes, you're going to have to fly there.

Yes, you're going to have to spend 2k or so.

 

Siderant:

If that's too expensive or too much hassle for you, then your pains aren't as serious to you as you proclaim, and/or you're not valuing yourself enough.

Sorry, I'm just a bit cynical about people being skiddish to spend a bit of money on their own personal development, because I've been on this forum for a long time, recommending things that would really help people and all I hear is "but that costs money". And then those same people struggle with the same problem for freaking years. As if time x quality of life is not a valuable resource but a little bit of money is sacred to them. It's dumb.

I only got to where I am today because I opened my friggin wallet and invested in what I needed to grow.

In my twenties, I did:

- 5 TNT workshops

- 3 retreats with people from that network

- one week therapy retreat

- many self-organized psychedelic retreats and meditation retreats

Now (31), I've got plenty of sexual experiences under my belt, some very wild stuff too, I'm engaged to be married, and I have an excellent social calibration and intuition. At least, I'm very happy with how it works.

I wouldn't have gotten that if I had just stuck to embarrassing myself every day.

I was missing essential pieces that I could only get through that combination of workshops and retreats.

And now, I'm off to drop 4.5K on a 3 week therapy retreat which I am sure I will get massive growth out of.

@Emotionalmosquito  If you like the tantra workshop thing I proposed, you can ask me anything about that specific one, but don't ask me "is this other thing that is closer to me / cheaper / online good" because the answer is probably no, and otherwise I wouldn't know either way. (direct feedback is rare, TNT values honesty and directness over comfort, most organisers don't because they want to be politically correct / attractive to the mainstream)

Good luck to you, I feel your pain!

Edited November 24, 2023 by flowboy

[Raze]

14 hours ago, Hardkill said:

I know that women are very interested in erotic novels like 50 shades of grey. Is there a way to bring that into a conversation with a girl you just met?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1AfaKShTe4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og1DZLKpJSY

 

https://www.youtube.com/live/twTrrGiRXtY?si=FaB4ATE61IY56Vq_&t=1496

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-use-sex-talk-set-sexual-tone-and-mood

Edited November 24, 2023 by Raze

[Yimpa]

17 hours ago, Hardkill said:

I know that women are very interested in erotic novels like 50 shades of grey. Is there a way to bring that into a conversation with a girl you just met?

Yes, its called a BDSM club.

How you interact in a BDSM club should profoundly different than how you interact in a Starbucks. 

And not all women are into BDSM. Stop assuming that.

Edited November 24, 2023 by Yimpa

[Yimpa]

8 hours ago, Hardkill said:

But the sex shown in advertisements, magazines like cosmopolitans, movies/tv shows, porn, art, etc. is not creepy, pathetic, and needy?

Those are mainstream and socially tolerated forms of sex.

50 shades may seem normal to you, but normal people will see it like this:

 

[Thought Art]

Ask her is she thinks doja cat is mid 

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 11/23/2023 at 4:29 PM, Leo Gura said:

WTF??

What? It blows my mind that people have to be so stuck up and bitchy about such basic life functions, it gives me the ick. It would be different if I was saying stuff like “Heyy girl lemme guzzle down that red goo through a beer bong”, but I’m not. I don’t see how simply talking about periods normally or about how science has now discovered menstrual fluid to be the next leap forward in modern medicine is on the same level of repulsive as saying how much you like to finger your asshole.

On 11/24/2023 at 1:18 AM, Leo Gura said:

Vibe with a girl the way you would play with a child.

Well shit dude, if it was that easy pua wouldn’t even be a thing. Kids are the easiest in the world to vibe with, you barely even have to think and they actually laugh at your humor. Girls on the other hand, they might as well be an extraterrestrial life form.

On 11/23/2023 at 5:21 PM, CARDOZZO said:

Girls hate it.

Yes they absolutely do. And NEVER ask if she’s on hers when she’s clearly frustrated about something unless you’re prepared for a fight. LOL

On 11/21/2023 at 4:43 AM, something_else said:

Unless you do something really really dumb, this is about as far as it will go. Who cares?

It matters because they spread around their negative perception of you like a plague which then hurts your chances with other girls 

On 11/21/2023 at 4:43 AM, something_else said:

It's likely because those harmless mistakes are actions that are very similar to the actions that would taken by actual predators. Most women have at least some experience with SA or other predatory guys so they build up a profile of the kind of actions that are associated with it. And from the POV of a woman it's better to err on the side of caution.

How is whispering in someone’s ear or making a dirty uncalibrated joke on the same level as something someone planning to do something seriously harmful would do? 

On 11/24/2023 at 6:39 AM, flowboy said:

If that's too expensive or too much hassle for you, then your pains aren't as serious to you as you proclaim, and/or you're not valuing yourself enough.

 

On 11/24/2023 at 6:39 AM, flowboy said:

As if time x quality of life is not a valuable resource but a little bit of money is sacred to them. It's dumb.

It’s not that at all. My problems are so serious and painful I’m on the verge of signing out for good. It’s not about an unwillingness to spend money. It’s an inability to get money at all or fast enough. I have no skills, live with parents who’re running out of energy, I’m 27, have tons of addictions each one far too strong to break, so full of bitterness and resentment it oozes out everywhere I go. Literally how the hell do i even begin to make any progress from here? Forget about making enough money to travel and do programs/workshops and such. Should I get a minimum wage cuck job with a dick head boss and rotten pieces of human fucking garbage coworkers that shit on me for not knowing how to do the job perfectly and making lots of mistakes because I’m a slow learner? And do this on top of my mountain of addictions and already zero patience for human bullshit? 

Can’t we just admit that the astronomical demands of life are simply far too challenging for some people to ever hope to conquer? Some people just aren’t cut out to handle this much strain.

Its also not a self respect problem, I have plenty of it. In fact that might just be exactly the problem. Only a self hating masochist could put themselves through the hell of grinding their way out of a position like mine. Doing self actualizing work is the emotional equivalent of stabbing a long serrated knife up my cock and twisting it while everyone watches and tells me to just lighten up and be myself.

Edited November 25, 2023 by Emotionalmosquito

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 11/21/2023 at 4:43 AM, something_else said:

Think the 'PUA' guys who chase women on bike

Also that guy “1st person approacher” wasn’t the least bit threatening. All he did was approach like anyone else, only difference was he was on a bike. He was also very polite, respectful of boundaries and left as soon as they rejected him.

 

[TheEnigma]

On 11/23/2023 at 5:29 PM, Leo Gura said:

WTF??

You obviously lack basic social awareness. 

Rule #1 when talking to girls: Don't talk about creepy shit.

When the content of what you say is creepy and weird, that creates a creepy, repugnant, anti-social vibe.

Whenever you talk to a stranger you need to talk about things they would be interested in. You don't open a conversation with a stranger by passionately talking about how much you like to stick your fingers in your ass. You have to be attuned to what normal people are interested in, and what women tend to be interested in.

I'm very surprised you'd use the word "normal" or "weird." Because isn't being normal or weird subjective? And if not then how would you define normal? How would you define weird?

[Princess Arabia]

36 minutes ago, TheEnigma said:

I'm very surprised you'd use the word "normal" or "weird." Because isn't being normal or weird subjective? And if not then how would you define normal? How would you define weird?

Yes, normal and weird is subjective, but common sense is Universal. The guy is talking about period blood to a normal girl on a first date. That's weird. There goes your definitions. 

[Emotionalmosquito]

54 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

The guy is talking about period blood to a normal girl on a first date.

Not even the first date, the very first approach. Which mind you some of them are ok with, or at least they pretend to be. I’ve discovered it’s impossible to tell cool people from squares just by looking, even after small talking for a bit you still can’t quite tell what’ll scare/piss them off. That must be why you’re better off just being boring until you know for sure what their limits are. Lord knows you can’t just ask because that in itself would be considered weird. Of course it can’t be that easy. Depressing it is but that’s life.

Btw what about the video I posted? With as squeamish as they are about the subject their brains will probably explode once they find out it can potentially save millions of lives and cure all types of serious ailments. Too much cognitive dissonance for them. Come to think of it I haven’t yet tried presenting the subject in that frame! 💡 

Edited November 26, 2023 by Emotionalmosquito

[The0Self]

@Emotionalmosquito Talking about periods and the moon cycles and astrology and all that is fine, but you still need to be socially calibrated. And if some ways of talking get bad reactions every time, stop doing them if you don’t want bad reactions. If you’re looking for bad reactions, then keep doing them. Simple.

[Princess Arabia]

38 minutes ago, The0Self said:

@Emotionalmosquito Talking about periods and the moon cycles and astrology and all that is fine, but you still need to be socially calibrated. And if some ways of talking get bad reactions every time, stop doing them if you don’t want bad reactions. If you’re looking for bad reactions, then keep doing them. Simple.

How does astrology and moon cycles fall into the same category with menstruation blood as far as on a first approach in respect to having a conversation.

Most women tolerate men and the stuff they talk about, so she might not say anything verbally, but she's thinking it. 

 

 

Edited November 26, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Emotionalmosquito]

@The0Self True. I just need to get better at knowing what different peoples triggers are

 

@Princess Arabia I don’t really understand it but some girls think they’re connected somehow 

 

43 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Most women tolerate men and the stuff they talk about, so she might not say anything verbally, but she's thinking it. 

 

Exactly what I’ve been saying. That’s why it’s so tricky, because they often times won’t even reveal the truth about what they really think/feel about what you’re saying. So you gotta develop a sixth sense to detect it

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

@The0Self True. I just need to get better at knowing what different peoples triggers are

 

@Princess Arabia I don’t really understand it but some girls think they’re connected somehow 

 

Exactly what I’ve been saying. That’s why it’s so tricky, because they often times won’t even reveal the truth about what they really think/feel about what you’re saying. So you gotta develop a sixth sense to detect it

Well, many times guys don't reveal their true intentions at first either, so we've developed a sixth sense of detecting certain things using our bullshit detector. It's not about revealing the truth but more about reserving our true feelings because of having to always be on the look out for predators.

[Emotionalmosquito]

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

Well, many times guys don't reveal their true intentions at first either, so we've developed a sixth sense of detecting certain things using our bullshit detector. It's not about revealing the truth but more about reserving our true feelings because of having to always be on the look out for predators.

What a tragic predicament we find ourselves in. With both sexes not trusting each other it’s no surprise why birthrates are below replacement level in many countries now 

[Princess Arabia]

14 minutes ago, Squeekytoy said:

That can't be why, because it's always been like this between men and women.

Men know the game, women know the score.

Interesting. That sounds like music to the ears.

[Display_Name]

On 12/11/2023 at 10:51 AM, Emotionalmosquito said:

For example I love the menstrual process, I find it more than just fascinating to talk about and think about so obviously I’m going to have good energy and passion in my voice while I’m talking about what I like.

What. The actual. Fuck.

[Princess Arabia]

4 minutes ago, Display_Name said:

What. The actual. Fuck.

That's nothing compared to business men, lawyers and CEO's who love to go on their knees in handcuffs and be told to bark like a dog. Lol 

[Raze]

On 11/23/2023 at 5:29 PM, Leo Gura said:

WTF??

You obviously lack basic social awareness. 

Rule #1 when talking to girls: Don't talk about creepy shit.

When the content of what you say is creepy and weird, that creates a creepy, repugnant, anti-social vibe.

Whenever you talk to a stranger you need to talk about things they would be interested in. You don't open a conversation with a stranger by passionately talking about how much you like to stick your fingers in your ass. You have to be attuned to what normal people are interested in, and what women tend to be interested in.

Leo you’re giving conflicting advice, you bragged about talking to girls like this

Can you talk about shocking or weird things with girls and have it work or not

[The0Self]

6 minutes ago, Raze said:

Leo you’re giving conflicting advice, you bragged about talking to girls like this

Can you talk about shocking or weird things with girls and have it work or not

If you don’t have the experience to know this already, think about where you’re learning about the game — you might want to find a better source for it because whatever you’re currently reading or watching is way off.

Edited November 26, 2023 by The0Self