A very conscious friend a girl, cant avoid loving badboys

[Rafael Thundercat]

Yes  even when she logicaly know that they are full of shit and after having many problems with the recent guys she interacted with. She want to change this pattern since this is blocking her from finding a partner with who she can have Sacred Union. She say her attraction to bads is because they are exciting but in the end  she get disapointed with their lack of spiritual openness and other atributes that she also value

Any ideias of how can she release this ambiguity?

[TheGod]

15 minutes ago, Rafael Thundercat said:

Yes  even when she logicaly know that they are full of shit and after having many problems with the recent guys she interacted with. She want to change this pattern since this is blocking her from finding a partner with who she can have Sacred Union. She say her attraction to bads is because they are exciting but in the end  she get disapointed with their lack of spiritual openness and other atributes that she also value

Any ideias of how can she release this ambiguity?

She's not aware of her attraction to bads. If she was, she would've changed her attitude towards them. 

She has to work on her self-esteem and educate herself in realm of psychology and self-help. 

I assume she had some childhood issues or even a trauma

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMTKZW7lQJc

 

[Rafael Thundercat]

2 hours ago, Raze said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMTKZW7lQJc

 

Wow, amazing video. It match perfectly even with a intuituion she shared with me. She said she felt it is related with her pattern with her father. She somehow know a bit of why she is in this pattern because she do psycadelics and retreats of femenine work and other self development work. The thing is that sometimes there are blind spots one cant see or things to difficult to confess to oneself about one intentions and desires. In the rigth time I will share this video with her. Thanks

[Yimpa]

Let her figure it out on her own. You don’t tell her what to do or correct her behavior. If she wants your advice, she will ask you directly.

If she opens up, share your own experiences if it connects with her experience.

[Tenebroso]

It's an innate part of female attraction that made sense during the pre-agricultural era but is nearly always a massive self own in modern life. Easiest way to attract women is to be a terrible person.

[Rafael Thundercat]

8 hours ago, Yimpa said:

Let her figure it out on her own. You don’t tell her what to do or correct her behavior. If she wants your advice, she will ask you directly.

If she opens up, share your own experiences if it connects with her experience.

Yes, she sometimes ask for advice

[mr_engineer]

@Rafael Thundercat The biggest reason women are attracted to bad boys is because of movie-conditioning. 

A movie's hero has a six-pack, smokes cigarettes and 'protects her from bad guys' by physically taking them on. This is a cultural definition of 'masculinity' that everyone is being conditioned with. 

Another big key is that if she has self-worth issues/body-image issues (because of movie-conditioning of what a woman should look like) coupled with an emotionally unavailable daddy in childhood, she's going to have a strategy of using sex to get a man to be emotionally available. (Because it works in movies.) So, if a spiritual man acts loving and emotionally available towards her, she will wall him off and reject him because he's not acting narcissistic and selfish and looking to use her for his pleasure! Cuz that's the idea of what a 'man' is, that her father conditioned her with. 

This is the problem at hand. So, what's the solution? 

• You have to recognize that all of these cultural ideas of 'masculinity' are patriarchal and that these are the ways in which the patriarchy benefits you. When you see that, you will see where this leads and what your future holds, if you keep going in this direction. 
• You have to see the religious roots of these ideas of 'masculinity' and why religious authorities designed it like this, for collective human survival. (If you're a spiritual woman, you can see this bigger picture.) When you see this, your ideas of 'masculinity' will come into question and you will start to open your mind to alternative ideas of 'masculinity', which are based on New-Age spirituality and which hold authenticity as a core value. 
• You ask yourself the question - In an ideal world, what role would men play in my life? And, what would his value-system be, why would he do what he does? Because you've learned about masculinity and you've seen real-life examples of them, you will know who aligns with your values and who doesn't. And, because you know the traumas you've gone through, you will know what you need from men. This way, you will be honest about what you want from men and your expectations will be realistic. 
• Then, you ask yourself - how would a compatible relationship work with me? If you know the kind of man you want, then you can answer this question. And, if he has the right value-system, you should be able to convince him. And, once you can do that, your daddy-issues will start to get resolved, because your self-worth issues will start to get resolved. And once that happens, you can start to question your attraction to bad boys and you can psychologically wean yourself off of them. Potentially with your man's help. 

TLDR: She needs to develop a better understanding of men and masculinity. That's the solution for her. 

[petar8p]

Teal Swan has some great videos like "Why do Nice Guys Finish Last"