Need Guidance for better routine

[danniel]

I have been struggling with staying on track for a productive routine, especially with my studies. I started watching videos of Leo about being mindful and meditating. In my mind i see what I need to do, but I cannot take initiative to do those tasks. It is like I know I need to study with focus without being distracted, yet I get distracted, and it is only that time has passed that I realize that I did not studied with focus. any guidance about what I should do?

[NoSelfSelf]

Because you dont want to do it,so there is a conflict between i should be doing it vs i dont want to do it, so you jump in your mind beteween those two ..

[danniel]

@NoSelfSelf  that makes sense. So, I should be doing it is totally right. What should I do or more like where should I start to change the wrong end of it, which is "I don't want to it." because I clearly need to do it. Pardon me for being so blunt about this, I feel lost in the battle within me of me doing the unwanted

[NoSelfSelf]

@danniel When you really want to do it then you will keep focus only on the thing you need to be doing ,your mind is swaying you from doing it mixing thoughts of something else with that thing...

For example i want to do something then if that thought is mixed with doubt or something else, then you have conflict inside yourself everything in you needs to be pushing in one direction...

Its like rowing you cant have somebody rowing in different direction everything needs to be aligned for a purpose of rowing...

[LastThursday]

3 hours ago, danniel said:

any guidance about what I should do?

Let's break it down into simple pieces.

At any particular moment in your life you have only two options: do something, do nothing.

The first thing to consider is your emotional reaction to either choice. It may be that you "do nothing" and you feel good about that. And, the same for doing something. But maybe you feel bad about "do nothing", or bad about "do something".

It looks like you need advice because you feel bad about both options. So it's important to recognise your emotions towards the choices you have.

The second thing to consider is consequences.

Sometimes "do nothing" has good consequences and sometimes bad. And the same with "do something". Maybe if you don't pay your bills, your electricity is cut off. Maybe if you choose to work for money, you become a wage slave. Maybe if you choose not to say something stupid, your life is easier. Maybe if you choose to study, you'll be rich in a few years. Consequences consequences.

The third thing to consider is that consequences and emotions are attached to each other. You'll have negative feelings about unpleasant things that might happen if you make a choice. You may have positive feelings ones too.

So. The reason you make a choice at any particular moment is your emotional reaction to the consequences of that choice. The strength of that emotional reaction is what makes you "decide" what to do - either positive or negative. Rational thought is only there to inform your emotions.

It's worth noting there is no middle choice. You're either doing domething or doing nothing. There's no escape and you have to take responsibility for your own choices.

BUT. Your emotions are not fixed. They come and go like the waves on a beach. And that is why, sometimes you'll "do something" and other times you'll "do nothing".

My advice? Bypass your emotions by using rationality. Ask yourself the following:

• What is the bigger picture here? What happens if I give up my studies totally or if I fully engage with my studies without distraction?
• Should I exchange short term gratification for long term gratification?
• Am I happy with mediocre results from my studies?
• Why am I studying at all? Do I want the results? Or is it just what I'm expected to do?
• If I wasn't studying what would I do instead?
• Should I study to a schedule? Plan my days in advance?
• Should I study at all and just wing it and hope for the best?

What you want to do is convice your emotions with as much rationality as possible. That's what motivation is all about.

 

 

Edited November 7, 2023 by LastThursday

[Jacob Morres]

hmm have you considered using pomodoro timers? I find these pretty beneficial for me. basically you remove all distractions, work for 25 minutes on a task and then take a break for 5 minutes then do another one. then go as many times as you feel needed. theres some apps for this i find beneficial

 

it also helps to gain some awareness around where the procrastination stems from. journalling and contemplation can help with that 

sometimes if the goal you have is too big it can be overwhelming. in this case one solution is you can start super small. like reduce it to a really small bite sized task, then accomplish it. then move onto the next one. that can help you gain confidence and build momentum 

there's also other root causes like bad health fundamentals, boredom, lack of meaning with the work, fear of failure etc. which all have solutions 

 

and for general motivation i find connecting with a meaningful and compelling vision helpful. some people also recommend using the negative as well for fuel, like thinking about the consequences of not taking action. there's lots of good exercises on this you can find 

Edited November 8, 2023 by Jacob Morres

[danniel]

@Jacob Morres I will implement pomodoro timers today. Thank you for your advice, and honestly, i believe fear of failure is a thing for me at the moment. Because i get thoughts, at times, where i feel like whether i will be able to pass the exam or not, because the i cant seem to solve the practice sets properly. I realise only more practice will bring my percentage higher but that is where i blunder it all by squandering time in almost not so important activities and eventually doing the unwanted things

but I will take your advice, reduce the size of my work. Again appreciate your advice