Can't Connect To Other People...

[DawnOfReality]

Hi

Today I am coming back from a 24h experience with my coursemates (university) in a observatory.

The whole thing was meant to spend some time together and do something that relates to what we study.

So, what happened is that it ended up in a very "party like" thing, which in itself was very nice, but personally I had troubles living it. What I mean is that the other guys started doing chores during dinner, singing and dancing, talking of football or other stuff in which I have no interest.

The thing is that I felt very detached from everyone and everything, I felt very lonely in an environment that was clearly very united. I didnt know the chores, didnt know the songs and couldn't sing along. I actually had to leave the room because this feeling was killing me. I reckon it would have been an opportunity to make new friends and stregthen relationships I had already formed, and I clearly did not manage to make use of it. I have the feeling now that it was an opportunity to get more into the group, and I failed it. Everyone was so seemingly happy and I could not relate to that. I was very lost as I didn't know how to behave. I felt like I was so disconnected to how a person would react to this kind of situation... Now I feel very bad about it.

Has Leo made videos on relating topics? What have you got to say?

[Evilwave Heddy]

It's not your fault that they had different tastes in topics and music.  Next time you get caught in a football conversation just say what I say "ZZZZZZZZZZZ football, I'm going to sleep...wake me up when you're done."  At that point you have declared yourself out of the conversation and you don't need to worry about them thinking about what you're thinking.  From there you just lay back and you can either think about other stuff or listen to them and judge them.  I like to wonder how they can be so into a crappy sport and I like to read their facial expressions etc.

If you don't feel like saying that (because they may be new interactions) then just start daydreaming and don't even bother with the conversation.

1 hour ago, DawnOfReality said:

I felt like I was so disconnected to how a person would react to this kind of situation

This is your biggest issue.  You have expectations of how people should react in certain situations.  From their minds they definitely thought you were pretty normal, no matter how quiet you were during it all.  It's usually the quiet people that are most interesting anyways so they may have found you interesting for being different.  I have often went long durations of being silent when one of my friends would meet up with a few of his friends I didn't know. I would only answer when spoken too.  I spent that entire night blaming myself for being so shitty at being interactive.  My friend told me the next day that his friends thought I was "sound". (An irish way of saying "cool" "awesome")

Your mind is so damaging to you.  It makes up all this stuff that isn't true.

I did a quick search for videos and found this. (It's his most popular one)

 

[Shin]

I can remember a night where I thought I was one of the lamest guy at the party.

One of my friend who never bullshitted me and was always critical told me I was one of the funniest that night.