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[Sabth]

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Edited November 7, 2023 by Sabth

[Sabth]

Am I really just stupid? 

I see everyone else's doing just fine . As if it's not even a hard thing. Everyone doing just fine. But why couldn't I graduate? Why do I have to extend two years? What happened? I even thought I was above average back then. During high school, I do know that I have an attitude . But,

Was it a mistake to go back here in this country? I looked at myself and wonder, what would she be, if, she were to just stay in x.

Forever. Since back then. What would she be? Because when I came here, it wasn't the best life possible. 

Let's see. Let's see where it all goes wrong. In my third year (12yo) I got a full marks on my national examination. And in my sixth year (15yo) I still got a full As with flying colour though I didn't expected that. Cuz I was the most rebellious kid ever. I do as I wishes. And study to the last minute. But I got full As. That's doing things as I wishes. Going to school whenever I feel like to. I have an adoption too. So my life was filled with love and flowers. But in my upper high school, I slack a bit. In my eighth year (17yo) I got only 5As out of 8. By that time , I have compromised a lot. "My teacher told me that I have matured a lot". It's not maturity. It's compromising with the teachers and school a lot. So I have a so so results. I wasn't doing good. And I think my peak , my another peak was in my ninth year (18yo) when I just went to a foundation studies. I really enjoyed it very well.  And except for my final third semester, I do well. But towards the end I slack a bit so I couldn't get a 3.5 pointer and above . I got 3.3. Cgpa. But I still think that I do well. With my homesickness a lot too. I think I did well. But, in my first year university everything crumbled. I don't like it. I don't like my university . But I learned preserverance. Which clearly didn't work. Because I'm forcing myself. Which lead me to nowhere and I dropped out at my fourth year. I became worser each year. Or maybe better. But I wasn't teach nothing. They didn't teach me. That's one of my problem. I need special attention and I need to be teached. But they didn't. So I wasn't doing well. Idk. Or maybe I was young. I wish I would hv went to a private university so that the people would be fewer . The capacity or group of people would be lower. Instead of a massive/big groups of people studying together. 

 

***I'm in yellow

This too is when I'm doing well : 

(18yo)

This was me in 2016. I was well but not too well. I lost my footage. I have one of the best high of all high but also was struggling a lot. At my university. I guess? Idk. But I was doing well.

Nah I was doing really super well. But not too well. December 2016?

I just remember there was really many good songs released during this time. Bb bp. 

And I can't get it off my mind. I wish my footage wasn't lost. Because I was at my peak. In filming everyone and everything. But I was also busy with my university. And without A GOOD HARDWARE. So I lost my footage. (20yo)

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(22yo) when I went to Yemen, Oman , Dubai somehow. 

I also lost my footage here. My old camera was creating problem and my harddisk too. So ,that camera that you see in the picture that I bought in 2012, the footage from that camera was lost. There was a problem with the memory card when it just simply format itself. So when I came back, I brought nothing. All the footage was lost. 

 

Edited November 9, 2023 by Sabth

[Sabth]

I did all this because I just tried making my resume.. but realized that I have nothing to put in there. Nothing good. I am very inexperienced.  I don't have any experience. Or a thing that I'm good at. A portfolio. I don't know. I don't graduate. So I am considering a second degree. 

What would be good to be put in my resume? I am reconsidering my 27years of life. 

(The example of someone's resume)

 

(Mine). 

Aaaaaaaaaaa .... ~~~

Edited November 9, 2023 by Sabth

[Spiritual Warrior]

2 hours ago, Sabth said:

I did all this because I just tried making my resume.. but realized that I have nothing to put in there. Nothing good. I am very inexperienced.  I don't have any experience. Or a thing that I'm good at. A portfolio. I don't know. I don't graduate. So I am considering a second degree. 

What would be good to be put in my resume? I am reconsidering my 27years of life. 

I'm sure you have more skills than you think. However, almost all of my jobs were offered to me through friend or family or just walking into a business and getting lucky, (they were short-staffed and desperate for help.) 

Don't stress too much about the resume, you can fill most of the resume with a "career objective" if you want, in which you write in your vision for your career trajectory, I can tell you like to write. Then at the bottom, put your education history, some skills that you have, and any work experience that you've had. 

If you don't have work experience, its fine. You are selling yourself as is. If an employer sees potential in you, they will hire you, don't sell yourself short, you are valuable. 

[Sabth]

17 hours ago, Sabth said:

(Mine). 

 

14 hours ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

I'm sure you have more skills than you think. However, almost all of my jobs were offered to me through friend or family or just walking into a business and getting lucky, (they were short-staffed and desperate for help.) 

Don't stress too much about the resume, you can fill most of the resume with a "career objective" if you want, in which you write in your vision for your career trajectory, I can tell you like to write. Then at the bottom, put your education history, some skills that you have, and any work experience that you've had. 

If you don't have work experience, its fine. You are selling yourself as is. If an employer sees potential in you, they will hire you, don't sell yourself short, you are valuable. 

.... Thanks. I'll think more about it. 

 

10 Nov 2023 5:36AM - I dreamed that I went to Egypt with my mom. And there are like a big ocean seen from the higher perspective /view (like an aerial view) and there were a lot of ships and waves. And along the road there was some military thing and shops selling souvenirs . I remember collecting every pink pastel colour items. As it was irresistible. A ceramic plate, a figurines, and an undergarments. It was all super pretty. There are other colours too but I choose every pink item. 

Then we went to a big art shop. It still is my dream.  But before that, I went to the toilet and are still afraid if I'm gonna miss my prayer. You have to pay 20cents to get into the public toilet. But I couldn't see any mosque or prayer room. And by the time I was out of the toilet, my mom had finished shopping in the art shop and I just went in. And as usual, I love the art shop. But this art shop, it was more dreamy than any real art shop I've ever been to before. There are so many items that are ideal like. A lot of pink papers that didn't exist in real life. And brushes. And so many things. I go crazy. I don't think about the payment or the price. Just like the roadside shop. I seems to be... Careless. It almost feel like it's free in my dream.. and then there was a big get together. Everything was ideal and I love everything. 

 

Edited November 10, 2023 by Sabth