Exploring the Feminine

[Spiritual Warrior]

 

Would you know my name? If I saw you in heaven?

The idea of losing a loved on 

This is true impermanence

Envision the loss of life of the one that you love the most 

Cope with this and you will be emotionally strong

Right now, you are emotionally weak, unable to handle death and loss

This is why you don't form attachments to people

Because you're afraid of losing them 

 

I don't want to lose you dad 

It feels like it would be the end of me 

I want to surrender to you, my dead lord 

Help allow me to surrender

To surrender my body and mind to the cause and purpose that you have set for me 

I trust you completely 

I surrender my soul to you 

Edited February 19 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

I am dating two women at the moment and I would like to choose one and date her. Let's take a look at each girl, shall we?

Girl #1 sweet, makes me laugh, a very good planner, smart, organized, a girl you could bring home to your parents, kind hearted, I am attracted to her, but we haven't gotten intimate yet, able to envision a successful relationship, not touchy at all

Girl #2 sweet, very touchy, loves to cuddle, young (22), unorganized, dependent, immature, ambitious, REALLY CUTE, turns me on easily, difficult to envision where a relationship would go - she is all over the place

 

I'd be in for an absolute roller coaster if I were to pick girl #2. I think that girl #1 could offer me a solid, stable relationship.

Now it's a question of what kind of relationship do I want? Would I like the roller coaster or the solid and stable one?

 

[Spiritual Warrior]

I'm about to talk to this girl over the phone about our future. I'm very nervous, I don't know how it's going to go. 

Last week, I texted her and said that I wanted to pursue another woman. The next day, I texted her again and said I'm already starting to second guess things, can we talk soon? 

She agreed to talk with me and here we are, I am a few minutes away from this conversation

I'd like to start off by asking her how she feels about everything, "I know I've been confusing and all over the place, so how are you feeling? Are you frustrated, annoyed, okay with things, how are you feeling?" 

Then I'm just going to try to talk from the heart and be as open and vulnerable as I can.

This is a real person on the other line that has her own attachments and survival needs.

Edited February 29 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

That went really well 😄

I was open and vulnerable and completely honest. I even told her that things got intimate with another girl. She really appreciated my honesty and she said that she likes me and would like to pursue things further. 

We are taking a Zumba class together next week

Counter-intuitive moves.

Insight: if you are doing something that gives you butterflies in your stomach, you are on the right track, embrace the butterflies, and you will feel a euphoric emotional release after the event is over

Edited February 29 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Insight:  A real man will screen a girl before having sex with her. He treads lightly so that the girl does not get too emotionally invested in him. He cares about her feelings and he does not want to lead her on. His feelings are her feelings. Her feelings are his feelings.

Tip: If you are with a girl that you feel is out of your league, abstain from having sex with her. This will drive her crazy and turn her on even more. This works especially well with really beautiful girls. Its always the counter-intuitive move. 

[Spiritual Warrior]

After hanging out or talking with girl #1, I feel more alive, more complete, more whole, I feel like my mood has been lifted

After hanging out with girl #2, my stomach feels empty as if I'm sick and nauseous, I feel like a part of me is missing when she leaves

This is a huge distinction that you should not take lightly

Maybe your body is telling you something

[Spiritual Warrior]

I just learned that girl #1 has very little experience in terms of intimacy. I've also noticed that she is very closed off from physical touch. 

My role in this relationship is to help her to open her body up, open it up so that she can become intimate and allow a man to enter her. 

I am starting to look at these women in a detached way, in a tier two way of thinking, in which I can make an impact on these women without getting attached to them.

The goal here is to help these women out in their development, whether or not the relationship lasts a few weeks, a year, two years, it doesn't matter. The only thing that really matters is that I am making a positive influence on them. Take your selfish desires out of the equation as much as possible and focus on what she needs.

Edited March 5 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

On 3/1/2024 at 8:32 AM, Spiritual Warrior said:

After hanging out with girl #2, my stomach feels empty as if I'm sick and nauseous, I feel like a part of me is missing when she leaves

Crazy that this was just a few days ago. Your progress in this work is rapid. Continue down the path. 

Edited March 6 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

I wish people knew how far I've come in this work. I feel like they'd be inspired. 

Anyways, I want to journal about what happened to me last night, I had quite an eventful night.

I worked at the dance studio until 10 pm. Then my work buddy and I drank two car bombs, which are Guinness and Bailey's. 

Now I'm feeling myself so I head to a salsa dancing spot by myself to let lose. 

When I get there, I dance with a couple of older ladies to warm up. Then I approach a cute girl and ask her to dance. We are immediately vibing, getting super close to each other, sexual tension is prevalent. We're dancing for a solid 15 minutes. While we're dancing, I tell her that I really want to kiss her. She just smiles and looks away... We continue dancing. 

Eventually, I couldn't help myself and I give her a little peck on the cheek, she smiles but shakes her head. I'm honestly not sure how I feel towards myself doing this, she did make it clear that she didn't want me to kiss her and I did it anyways. I'm not respecting the boundaries that she set. I will try to do better next time. 

Eventually, she says that she needs water. 

I dance with other women while she's getting her water, and eventually I go up to her and try to talk to her some more, I am actually liking her and I want to get to know her better, but she's not giving me much in terms of responses so I walk away and continue dancing. 

I start dancing with this really cute Ukrainian girl. She is LOVING it. We are having a blast, dancing around for 15 minutes. She doesn't want to leave my side. Eventually, we make our way to the bar and we start talking a little bit. She is clearly attracted to me. I also think she's super cute and there's something about foreign girls that always gets me intrigued.

I talk with her and her friend while we have a drink and eventually, we make it back out on the dance floor. There are 5 of us now, 3 girls and 2 guys, we have a little dance party between the 5 of us. 

Then we head back to the bar, exchange Instagram and we agree to meet back here next week at the same time. I'm looking forward to that! 

Now, this is where things get interesting in terms of integrity and honesty. I am going out on dates with two other girls right now. They BOTH know about each other, which is good, I have made this very clear. But I also told them that there weren't any other girls that I'm talking to, and that I am not currently pursuing anyone new. This was accurate at the time, but now it is not.

I also agreed with one of the girls that we would make a tentative plan to hang out on Thursday because I can't hang over the weekend. If I bail on her to hang out with the new girl, this would not be very nice, I wouldn't want someone to do that to me. 

Is this work turning me into an asshole? Maybe. Maybe it is.

However, I am not exclusively dating this girl and I can technically do whatever I want. I also want to hang out with this new girl. I'm sorry, but it's more exciting. I now understand why players do what they do. This game is fun as hell! By the way, I have worked my f****** ass off to get to this point in my life. This shit does not come easily to men.. and quite frankly I am just scratching the surface. 

The reality is that I want to settle down with one girl, but I have only been with a handful of women in my life. Right now, I want to date around and figure out what I want and like in terms of a relationship. This will actually set me up for an extremely healthy and high conscious relationship at the end of this journey. I also plan on making a positive and lasting impact on every girl that I date by treating them with integrity and love and compassion.

Yes, you are dating a player, but a highly conscious, highly developed, high integrity player. This is the new wave. 

I will be completely honest and open with you, I will take your wants and needs into consideration, I will treat you as a sovereign consciousness, I will try to feel what you are going through because you are me and I am you.

Edited March 15 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

I remember hearing the girl ask me "do you want to kiss me?" while we were dancing, I've heard this line before from women. This is a telltale sign that she is into you. The next move is to bring her over to a quiet spot and talk with her a bit to get to know her and find out if it's a good idea to kiss her. 

We are not kissing women left and right. We gauge the situation first and then decide if it is a good idea for both of us to escalate things intimately. 

We are thinking bigger picture than merely busting a nut or adding another notch to our belt. This is what PUAs from RSD and the Mystery gang were missing, they weren't doing this work with integrity. 

Edited March 15 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

My girl said to me the other day "I feel heard." These are the sweetest three words I have heard in my life.

Edited April 15 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

It should also be mentioned that a man has certain priorities or duties and the female has her own duties.

The couple needs to be protected. The man is usually the protector because men are generally stronger than woman and also more willing to get violent. However, there are some very badass women that would be the exception.

I'd go so far as to say that if an attractive woman of very petite stature (under 100 pounds) was completely on her own in a big city, shed get raped within a couple of months. I wish this wasn't the case, but unfortunately a lot of the humans here in America are not very developed and extremely selfish and extremely sexually frustrated. 

This is why every woman needs a man in her life. The father was the protector, but the girl wants to have her own space, she wants freedom. If she is going to go out into the world and make something of herself, the father must pass the daughter off to him. 

Imagine a girl growing up without a protector? I guess she wouldn't actually, the mother would find a way to play the protector role, she would have to if she wants her daughter to survive. 

Edited April 17 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Exercise:

What is something unique about your girl? What makes her different from other girls?

She is cuddly and loving, she is a free spirit, she loves to have sex and gets fired up easily, she is polite and kind when ordering food or drinks, she's emotionally stable, she's able to roll with the punches and be chill and relaxed about things.

[Spiritual Warrior]

Sex

I'm 29 years old and I had sex for the first time 6 weeks ago. Ive had opportunities to have sex throughout my life, but everytime I would make out with a girl or kiss other parts of her body, I wouldn't  feel any sort of sexual energy coursing through my body. This made me incredibly frustrated and added to my lack of confidence when attempting to attract women into my life. 

Eventually I felt like enough was enough, I started a job as a dance instructor, started going out to salsa dancing clubs, went to speed dating events, and stopped watching porn (my porn is a fetish that I've had since I was a kid, it's not that weird but I don't feel like sharing what it is.)

After months of pushing myself, I managed to get a girlfriend. The first two times that I had sex with her I didn't think that I'd be able to get it up so I took Viagra. It was very effective, I got a boner very easily, but it desensitized my dick and I wasn't able to get any pleasure out of it. But hey, I finally had sex so I was happy. Next, I had to find a way to do it without medication. 

The third time we had a sex, we were in my bedroom so I was super comfortable, I didn't take any Viagra and I took a couple of Maca pills the day before, which is a natural supplement that boosts your libido. The sex felt amazing, we had sex three times that night. 

I'm now at a point where Im able to get a boner with just a hug from her. It's the love that I feel that she has for me that gets my dick hard, I can feel it and it makes me want to be as close to her as possible. 

I am honestly really proud of how far that I've come. I put in the work and I'm now reaping the benefits. Thank you God / the universe for giving me this. 

This goes to show you, no matter how far behind you think that you are, continue to push yourself, stay hopeful, you will make things better for yourself. Work hard, be strategic, put yourself in uncomfortable situations.

[Spiritual Warrior]

Back in November of last year, I journaled that all I wanted was to feel loved by a woman for my true self. That is what I asked God for.

I have achieved this, my girlfriend loves me for who I am, I don't feel like I have to put on an act or be somebody that I'm not for her. I can be my cute, quirky, sometimes lazy, introverted self and she will still love me, no matter what. 

To feel the love from someone, true love, is such an amazing and fulfilling feeling. When I first got into this pickup journey, I thought that I wanted to have sex with multiple people over the span of an entire year. Now that I am in love with someone and the sex is getting deeper and deeper, I don't see how sleeping around can be any more fulfilling and enjoyable than this. 

[Spiritual Warrior]

Exploring the Feminine Entry #18

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I trust that God has a plan for me

I realize now that I HAVE to get my sexual needs met. Otherwise, this will continue to plague me.

Be a player. That is literally what you signed up for. 

You didn't want to have a girlfriend. You had one, a really great one... But I had to mess it up because I wasn't ready to commit.

Now... In order to get sex again I have to start pushing myself and going out more. 

Start staring people in the eyes. 

Go out to coffee shops.

Have a big vision that you are working towards.

Sign up for speed dating events. 

Go out into the city.

Push yourself out of your comfort zone.

I am independent of the opinions of others. 

Masturbate for 20 minutes straight without ejaculating.

Masturbate without porn.

Be open to being attracted to women. 

And if you are attracted to her, hit on her. Actually hit on her.

 

You attract what you want to create. 

It's really that simple. 

[Spiritual Warrior]

"Whether you believe you can or not, you're right." ~ Henry Ford

A woman wants a guy that knows what he wants and goes for it. This is extremely attractive to the feminine. 

Edited November 11 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Exploring the Feminine Entry #19 6:09 PM 11/11/24

I am quite rusty when it comes to pick up but I know I have to get back out there. I envision where I can take this in 2-3 years and that's what excites me. I sometimes have thoughts about my ex and how I want her back. She really was a great girlfriend and really did love me, but the issue was that I wasn't ready to get wifed up. I felt like if I never finished my pick up journey then I would always regret it. 

When I think of wanting my ex back, this thought arises because I am being cowardly. I don't want to plunge back into pick up because it's scary, very scary. I don't want to jump back into the depths of the ocean... But the reality is that deep down, I actually do. I broke up with this girl for a reason, and I did not take this decision lightly. 

I want to explore my sexuality with multiple partners. I want the growth experience of hitting on lots of women. I want to better understand the dynamics between the feminine and the masculine so that I can one day write a book about it. 

The issue right now is that the thought of hitting on a girl is very daunting to me. I want to take baby steps. What I am going to do for the first week is I will go to a coffee shop every morning with my laptop. I have actual work to do on there anyways. I am going to position myself near an attractive girl and set my computer up to actually do some work. Next, I am going to walk up to this girl and ask her if she can watch my computer while I go to the bathroom. 

I will put awareness on the way that I open the girl, saying something like "Excuse me, miss," *smile, then say "Would you mind watching my computer while I go to the bathroom?" You want to have a deep but friendly voice that does not come off as needy. Do this over and over and over again. 

Once I get used to the "Excuse me, miss" opener, I will move onto actually hitting on the girl. In this situation at a coffee shop, I could say "Excuse me, miss," *she looks at me "Hi, I saw you from over there and I just think you're really cute and I just wanted to say hi." The key here is to keep it playful and light and fun. That is more my style. Don't put too much stake in this encounter. This is one of many. 

Then I can start doing this at libraries, parks, bars, on the street, anywhere. 

The next thing that I can start doing is going out on weekends. I have a couple of single buddies, Id like to start going out with them and start approaching women. They would benefit as well. 

The next thing I can do is join some speed dating events. These can be really good experiences for you as you are practicing talking to girl after girl after girl and you can potentially set up dates that way. I've already gotten laid from one of these speed dating events but it took several months. The next goal is to do the speed dating events and get her to come home with me that night, and if that doesn't work then get her number and set up a date. 

The next thing I want to do is continue to work out. Do not let your career and workout goals slip because you are doing pickup. They should not interfere with these goals. I want to find a way to balance these different areas of my life. 

The last thing I'll talk about is masturbating. I want to continue to masturbate but without the use of porn, I will only use my thoughts. This will put more of my attention into my body. I want to really feel into my body when I am having sex. I have read a book called the "multi orgasmic man", which talks about how to have multiple and full body orgasms as a man. I'd like to continue to learn about this, and eventually I want to master it so that I can have sex as long as I want with girls without ejaculating at all. I want to give these women the best sex they have ever had in their lives. This is what will keep them coming back to me. At the end of the day, I want an abundance of sex but I don't have that much time and I also don't want to commit to any one girl. This means that it's imperative that the sex is really really good so that they come back begging for more. 

I know this will be a long journey, but I am excited for it. I do want to get married one day and have children, but I don't care who that is going to be right now. All I am focused on is growing myself through pickup. I will also be focusing on being a better dance instructor, getting my finances up, and becoming strong and muscular. 

Good luck. 

Edited November 11 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

I've started to walk around in a way that says "I am looking for women to hit on" the problem is that I'm not doing it. Soon enough I will look back at this post and laugh because of how far I have come, but I have to put in the work. Do you know what method I REALLY believe in... Visualization and affirmations. Visualize hitting on women every morning. Affirm that you will have sex with beautiful women every day, make your meals every two days, be mature, don't masturbate while using porn. I know that I have to put in the work but I am on the right path and Im not confused anymore. I know EXACTLY what I must do. Things have never been so clear to me. 

These women are going to love the fact that a highly conscious, highly developed, attractive  man is hitting on them.

One of the things that I want to start doing is just walk up to a woman and tell her that I think she's beautiful and then walk away. The problem right now is that I don't have the courage to walk up to her because I don't know how to carry the conversation on. Just tell her she's beautiful and walk away. Baby steps. Keep taking baby steps. Eventually it will compound. 

And you have to genuinely think she's beautiful or cute or gorgeous. It has to be congruent. 

Edited Sunday at 03:39 AM by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

The other thing that I want to make myself aware of is that nobody is doing what I'm doing. Literally nobody in my immediate circle has gotten into pick up. Every single one of my friends lets something fall into their lap and then wifes her up. This is the unconscious way to do it. Because it's the easiest. It is the path of least resistance. My roommate just got divorced after two years of marriage, he meets a girl at a bar, she is his girlfriend now and he's already talking about getting married to her. Like what the fuck... What is wrong with these people. Do you allow your life to run you or are you running your life? 

The thing that makes the work here on actualized.org so valuable is that we are shining light on the things that most people are completely blind to. We are building a life consciously, we are not letting society or circumstances dictate what we do in our lives. 

This is what sets me apart from other people (at least in my area). Yes, I have a lot to work on but I am strategically and systematically building the life that I want for myself. And I'm sorry but I don't think other people are doing this. I know this because when I ask people "What is your vision for your life?" Their answers are wishy washy. They don't fucking know or don't care enough to just sit down and plan it out. It takes work to think about what you actually want to create in your life, the easier path is to just run on auto pilot and let your environment run it for you. This is what most people are doing. As a dance instructor, I would like to make it my duty to encourage people to dream big. Most people just don't believe in themselves, that is the core issue. And it's sad... very sad.

And to be aware of why you are acting the way that you are in the moment that you're doing it, this takes work. To look for the truth of the situation instead of remaining unconscious to it. Again, being unconscious is a million times easier, but we are not looking for easy solutions, we are just looking for real ones. 

When I act immature, I am consciously aware of it. When I act selfish, I am consciously aware of it. When I judge others, I am consciously aware of it. When my ego gets triggered, I am consciously aware of it. When I give myself resistance, I am consciously aware of it. When I a suppress my true desires, I am consciously aware of it.