Brief Ego Dissolutions

[Anirban657]

I have been meditating for 5months now and I had one ego dissolution experience for a very short period of time(2-3hours). That day I woke up in the morning and I felt different. I was not judging anything nor did I have monkey mind or negative thoughts. I was feeling very positive too. 

So I woke up and brushed my teeth and ate and went to get a hair cut in a salon. I am an introvert but that day my ego was gone. I was able to talk freely without anxiety and also everybody behaved good to me. As I was in the salon, I started a conversation with another dude sitting beside me and I was shocked by the way he responded to me. The way he responded to be was something I had not experience for the last 2 years when I had social anxiety. Everybody there was so kind to me and I kind of felt like I became enlightened at the age of 17  . It felt like reality changed for me and the world was in my favour 100℅. I am not saying everything was perfect, I am just saying that I felt that way. (I had visited the salon for over a year before this experience and the people who behave good to me that day had behave differently to me previously. That day their response to my actions were completely different).

I felt like I became the most authentic version of myself. After getting the hair cut, negative thoughts started to come up slowly. Afterwards again I felt anxiety and the way I used to feel normally. But that feeling, that experience, that authentic self, that spontaneity in my actions and that neutrality in my thoughts is something I want to feel again. I want to experience that again.

So is it an ego dissolution experience or just positive thinking? I hope I was able to describe it properly.

Edited April 1, 2017 by Anirban657

[Leo Gura]

If your sense of identification with body/mind ACTUALLY disappeared, then it was a genuine ego dissolution experience.

Although enlightenment is not just a temporary change of state. It's a deep knowing. A knowing which remains and doesn't disappear.

[Gopackgo]

It  happens over time for some people. Generally someone has a glimpse, and then reverts. Then another experience, then reverts. The times get longer and longer.  It will feel like there is just being. Thoughts and experiences will just arise, but there isn't a monologue in your head. Whether or not it is permanent is outside of your control. As it is accepted that the ego never existed and that there is no reason to have an argument in your head over choices that are really not choices. A lot of times there is a happy feeling in the body. Sometimes there are some very deep insights that come out of nowhere. There is little thinking going on, and what you previously had thoughts about will arise an emotion. It is pure unadulterated life. Any feelings of want are muted and non-existent. For very few people it is a one time permanent shift. For me it is reversion back and forth, as my "subconscious" (or whatever is deciding) learns that the me is the only source of problems, and it twists everything to suit an illusion that has no bearing on reality. And that there is no reason to continue the charade of conscious choice.

A good way to foster it is to free flow journal and just get used to the feeling of pure action with little to no thought. A good way to kill the feeling is to start picking all the things about the experience that are not perfect. That is an opening for ego to take hold again. Seek if you must, but the best way to learn about pure awareness is to be pure awareness.

[Anirban657]

@Leo Gura I don't know about sense of identification but I felt like my inner resistance and fear that the ego create had disappeared.