Dealing with other people's selfishness

[Francis777]

Leo how do you deal with the selfishness of all the people around you, these last few years of my life I have become increasingly aware of exactly how selfish people around me are, specifically people that I deem to be decent/good in the scheme of things. 

This has been the hardest part, that even the "good" people are still incredibly selfish. It's making me despise people and I get so fucking angry and resentful of them, I keep it to myself 90% of the time though because I know that they don't have the slightest fucking bit of awareness about it.

But that isn't an excuse that I can just go along with because I also know that they aren't aware of it because they don't give a shit! They are not aware because they make zero effort to be aware of it. They just go around bullshitting people so that they don't have to look at themselves. Any "effort" that they do make is not actually to be selfless but to disguise their selfishness and gaslight people so that they don't get called out on it.

How do you integrate this? It makes me wonder why I even make any effort myself. They are getting what they want, living exactly how they please because they are selfish. While I am suffering to be good to people because I couldn't live with myself if I didn't.

And let me reiterate, I don't think these are bad people!! Its becoming evident to me that nearly every human on the planet is just so unbelievably selfish, regardless of if you compare them to each other!

Yes this is a rant, I needed to vent. I just want some perspective that isn't "oh you need to be more accepting and appreciative". Even if it is true, it just isn't working for me at the minute. 
 

Why should I suffer while your living comfortably soley because your ignorant.

Edited October 31, 2023 by Francis777

[Princess Arabia]

I use to see it this way, but ever since I've learnt that life is about me, it changed. Not about me in the sense of me, me, me, but my perspectives, the way I see things is about me. I would dig hard and found it. Every time i spoke badly of someone, or judged or criticized, I dug deep and found it. It's about you not them. Sometimes fear is a factor or something within you you don't like or haven't accepted or something you wish you had or something, but it's always about you. 

You have to learn how to see it. If I was to ask you a few questions about yourself, pertaining to the things you dislike about other people, it would reveal itself. 

[Francis777]

@Princess Arabia yeah I get that, how you contextualise is everything.

But peoples behaviour is just too obvious to me now. I feel like people don’t even deserve for me to give them the benefit of the doubt anymore.

regardless of how I contextualise it, I still know for a fact that outside of that, is the truth of their character and I can’t deny it or frame it any other way. This wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t care to interact with people but I do. 
 

I dunno, this is more of a vent than anything, I know how to get over it. I know it’s all me. I just have a hard time justifying whether or not people deserve it sometimes.

And I can’t just be selfless for my own peace of mind as that goes against everything that it means to be selfless. It’s lesser evils, but still.

Edited October 31, 2023 by Francis777

[hyruga]

Yes some people are just going to be selfish. And sometimes it's due to their ego and sometimes due to your own=.

You can read the book 'Ego is the enemy' to find out more.

Yes you can attribute every thoughts to be coming from within you. However to make things easy, sometimes you have to be loud and selfish yourself so that others will not take advantage.

Edited November 1, 2023 by hyruga

[Miguel1]

You are not selfless for other people.

You are selfless for yourself because it increases your life satisfaction via integrity, goodness, honesty, and character.

So ultimately it is a selfish thing 

After all, God is alone.

[Francis777]

Just now, hyruga said:

Yes some people are just going to be selfish. And sometimes it's due to their ego and sometimes due to your own ego.

You can read the book 'Ego is the enemy' to find out more about ego.

Yes you can attribute every thoughts to be coming from within you. However to make things easy, sometimes you have to be loud and selfish yourself so that others will not take advantage of you.

yeah, I have no problem with setting boundaries with people, I don't take any shit from people. I'm speaking more from a general perspective of people not so much directly as I just wont stand for it anyway. Its more from a macro perspective as in if no one else is bothering to change then why should I?

I know this is just weakness on my part but its become really intolerable for me lately.

[Francis777]

3 minutes ago, Migue Lonas said:

You are not selfless for other people.

You are selfless for yourself because it increases your life satisfaction via integrity, goodness, honesty, and character.

So ultimately it is a selfish thing 

After all, God is alone.

This is not my way of practising selflessness, if I am not doing it for the sole benefit of other people then I don't see it as true selflessness.

But this is a radical way of acting, maybe I shouldn't hold myself to such a high standard.

[hyruga]

16 minutes ago, Francis777 said:

yeah, I have no problem with setting boundaries with people, I don't take any shit from people. I'm speaking more from a general perspective of people not so much directly as I just wont stand for it anyway. Its more from a macro perspective as in if no one else is bothering to change then why should I?

I know this is just weakness on my part but its become really intolerable for me lately.

Haha people are going to do what they want based on their level of consciousness and identity. For example, Putin wants a war with Ukraine and there's little you can do as an individual. Similarly, someone from North Korea may be plotting a nuclear bombing and again very little you can do about it.

Regarding identity, someone who grew up as an Islam or Christian is obviously going to defend their own religion first. They also need to increase their level of human consciousness in order not to wage war on one another.

Edited November 1, 2023 by hyruga

[Razard86]

Once you realize that every possibility must exist...you don't really take it as serious. Think about this....no matter how accurate you are at explaining something there is always going to be someone who disagrees with you. No matter how nice you are to some people there are always going to be people who hate you. No matter how trustworthy you are there is always going to be people who don't trust you.

Because reality is infinite, infinite variety of people and actions and reactions must exist. Once you realize that fully...you will sigh and say "I can't believe I actually took all this seriously." You have allowed yourself to get hoodwinked that things are actually your fault. LOL. You are complete innocence no matter what you do. 

Edited November 1, 2023 by Razard86

[Princess Arabia]

11 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

Once you realize that every possibility must exist...you don't really take it as serious. Think about this....no matter how accurate you are at explaining something there is always going to be someone who disagrees with you. No matter how nice you are to some people there are always going to be people who hate you. No matter how trustworthy you are there is always going to be people who don't trust you.

Because reality is infinite, infinite variety of people and actions and reactions must exist. Once you realize that fully...you will sigh and say "I can't believe I actually took all this seriously." You have allowed yourself to get hoodwinked that things are actually your fault. LOL. You are complete innocence no matter what you do. 

This is at a higher level of thinking which will be a little harder to grasp for people at lower levels. Interesting to see the different levels at play. 

I just watched a video someone just posted from  the YT channel, "Hoe Math", that explains this. Check it out. I will go back there and leave a comment. 

[Francis777]

38 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

Once you realize that every possibility must exist...you don't really take it as serious. Think about this....no matter how accurate you are at explaining something there is always going to be someone who disagrees with you. No matter how nice you are to some people there are always going to be people who hate you. No matter how trustworthy you are there is always going to be people who don't trust you.

Because reality is infinite, infinite variety of people and actions and reactions must exist. Once you realize that fully...you will sigh and say "I can't believe I actually took all this seriously." You have allowed yourself to get hoodwinked that things are actually your fault. LOL. You are complete innocence no matter what you do. 

I understand the metaphysical redundancy of what I’m complaining about. However I don’t think every problem needs to be addressed at that level, it’s not very practical and when dealing with people in social environments you need to be somewhat practical.

Again I don’t have people in my life that are particularly selfish to me directly (I’m being generous with this statement). It’s the general ignorance of people that allows them to carry on parading as they please while I’ve had to change my ways because I actually gave a shit  about holding myself accountable for the sake of everyone else.

But yes @Razard86 maybe this is just a sign that I’ve outgrown this “practical” level of consciousness and need to integrate the metaphysical side more into my social life. 
 

Lol I guess we could say the practical side is getting less and less practical

[Francis777]

I will admit, this rant probably wouldn’t have even been written if I wasn’t projecting the struggles of my kundalini symptoms that have literally forced me to change. Never the less it’s still true.

Edited November 1, 2023 by Francis777

[nhoktinvt]

get back to your life purpose or sth boi

[Miguel1]

9 hours ago, Francis777 said:

This is not my way of practising selflessness, if I am not doing it for the sole benefit of other people then I don't see it as true selflessness.

But this is a radical way of acting, maybe I shouldn't hold myself to such a high standard.

Perhaps this is selfish.

What is the need to be so radical?

What is the need to neglect yourself?

What is the need for people to be selfless?

What is the need for you to be completely “selfless”?

Surely you must be gaining something, otherwise why do all this?

Maybe that something is selfish.

Contemplate that.

 

[gettoefl]

everyone is selfish, you included

if you are being selfless it is just a short-lived gambit to win others over so they say wow finally a less selfish person

everyone is calculating precisely if unconsciously the exact amount of selfishness to make their life as luxurious and care-free as possible

don't blame me for being selfish ... it is merely me extracting the most i can with the cards i am dealt and you are exactly the same

forgive everyone, forgive yourself and then enjoy everyone around you as artefacts placed in your life to raise your consciousness

 

Edited November 2, 2023 by gettoefl