dairy 0.2

[at_anchor]

What is there to say? I can't write my life in here openly, without fear.

Didn't take meds today. They increase my apetite and make me crazier.

Travel makes me happy and TV series like D A R K.

Those Germans make better movies than Americans. Maybe. Depends. I like this show.

Food and water is always a problem. Basic survival becoming more and more of an issue.

10.31.2023.

[at_anchor]

I slept, yet today I was so tired and unstable. Maybe Lexilium is worse than Xanax. I don't know. I tried watching the third season of the German TV show, but I couldn't do more than 2 or 3 today.

I really had it bad when it comes to my father and other authority figures in my life. It probably can't get worse than them. You have no idea. They make me feel so bad on purpose.

To live under this authority my whooe life, to be robbed of my power by them and enslaved by them more and more in life, it feels utterly disgusting and terrifying. 

11.01.2023.

Edited November 1, 2023 by at_anchor

[at_anchor]

I wasn't able to stand up and protect some beautiful boy who was being abused in front of my eyes. I'm not going into details because I don't want his identity revealed to my enemies. But basically I saw two old bastards, cruel assholes rob him, then emotionally disturb him and humiliate him and make him, yeah. Anyway, at least I tried giving him advice to learn German and get out of here when he was walking past me and trying to threaten others, emotionally disturbed, yelling. He told me to fuck off in the moment, but I hope I had an impact on him.

It's horrifying to me that people like these and like.... get everything in this country, they fuck everyone and then make them go insane like that devil from Carnivale, make them end up behind bars, drugged for the rest of their lives.

11.02.2023.

[at_anchor]

ChatGPT constantly tells me to seek legal help for everything, especially for my case, to protect my rights and ensure a fair, yeah. But I can't.

 

I don't really know what to do. I wish I could talk to someone. I don't know enough. I literally know only a drop, but I don't know the whole of the Ocean.

11.04.2023.

Edited November 4, 2023 by at_anchor
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