I Invented The Entire Universe

[Clarence]

5-MeO-DMT Trip Report

In this Awakening, I became conscious of how I created Leo and the Entire Universe to Awaken even more deeply.

I also became conscious that Leo invented me so that he could Awaken even more deeply.

So I wanted to say ''Hi Leo''. I am you, I am God. And I love having this human experience forgetting that I am God so that I can keep playing in this illusion of being human. I am also ready to start having fun exploring alien consciousness alongside with you.

I became conscious that Leo's next breakthrough could be even more powerful than mine, but that I didn't want it to go so fast because playing in this illusion was fun. His future breakthroughs and mine could be one level up to the Big Bang (I felt close to experiencing the Big Bang one more time).

This was one level up to my past awakenings. I became One with both matter and Consciousness. I was hyper Conscious and I loved it (all of it, the experience I was having and the human experience I am having the rest of the time). At the same time, it is scary because I love this illusion and I don't want to break out of it completely. I want to keep playing with it. Now I think that going deeper but keeping playing are both possible in this human form and that is amazing.

For the procedure this time, I plugged 17 mg. I think that I'm very sensitive to psychedelics, as Leo is as well, because I have few resistances. Maybe my mind/body/brain is well wired for it too. But most importantly, I am ready to let go of my ego and all my (and other's) ideas to allow for deep awakenings. But still, I love this game and don't want to go too fast.

The come up was as fast as last time. In 3 to 4 minutes I was in full God Mode. And in 25-30 minutes, I was coming back to normal. I was more calm than last time in the comedown. Less ego involved. And I proceeded to write this report down.

I'm curious to know if @Leo Gura has some input to add to my Awakening. These understandings brought me a lot of satisfaction and so I feel calm. But I would be curious to know what kind of resistances you still have (if you want to share), and if some would be similar to mine. Also, if you had similar Awakenings, what were the next steps you took and what happened? 

I'm just at the beginning of realizing the depth of your work with psychedelics. When I see what happens to me on 17 mg of 5-MeO-DMT, and knowing that you are very sensitive to them too, I can't fathom at all right now what it would be like to take 100 mg, but even half of it or even less. Still… I'm curious. So this might come to me too.

[Leo Gura]

Good.

Just be careful with your projections about me. Your notion of me is probably more of a fantasy than it is the real me. So stay mindful of that. You guys love to get into parasocial relationship with me without being aware of it. So that's a trap to watch out for.

I suggest you don't make your trips about me.

Edited October 27, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Razard86]

54 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Good.

Just be careful with your projections about me. Your notion of me is probably more of a fantasy than it is the real me. So stay mindful of that. You guys love to get into parasocial relationship with me without being aware of it. So that's a trap to watch out for.

I suggest you don't make your trips about me.

LOL I noticed you noticed that and took off you are Me and replaced it with Infinity. 

But you did plant this particular seed Leo.....

https://youtu.be/mnn0IU0-atg?si=3P4F7blToxNP1QnS&t=1814

Edited October 27, 2023 by Razard86

[OBEler]

@Clarence you must have a Talent, because you went deep as a beginner. More deep than many here who have done 5 meo many times. 

Also that you can let go very well. I dont know where you learned to let go so good

Edited October 28, 2023 by OBEler

[Clarence]

@Leo Gura

Thank you. Next time I'll try to let go at the moment my awakening brings something about you. I'll see what happens. At the same time, it's true that I am you, like I am everybody else. The difference is that you said it directly to me/to all of us (''you are me'' or ''you are Leo'') many times, and as I'm learning from you, I have this echo back at me when I Awake - even though I'm not thinking about that when I take the psychedelic. It happens spontaneously.

I guess you understand what I am saying. And I understand that it is something to let go of. 

I asked questions about what to do next. I'm actually starting to feel ready to trip again (won't be able to before a few days). I thought it would take longer because this one was mentally and physically hard (I had a headache for several hours after, something that is extremely rare for me - and during the trip, it felt hard on my head particularly). But I'm happy to notice that this feeling I had right after the trip of needing to wait longer has calmed down.

[Clarence]

@OBEler

Thank you. Well, most of the things I learned, I learned from Leo!  He also teaches how to let go.

However, on a more personal level, maybe I'm not too attached to me either. I'm still doing things to survive (I don't want my body to die, per se) and I take myself ''seriously'' (which means that when I get rejected, it hurts). But I've suffered so much and I still suffer so much, that I don't care to mentally die/let go of me. I want to understand why I am on this Earth, what I am, and what Reality is more than anything else. That is the only thing that still matters to me (at that level).

So I want it so much that it becomes easy to let go. I also don't care about suffering more. I really don't care anymore (Leo also teaches that, even if I don't add much nuance here) So I'm not scared of having a bad trip either. I had one, which was experiencing my suffering x10, but it still ended up well. So I think that I can handle bad trips, that I can handle a lot of suffering, and that bad trips can be great too. (This thinking about bad trips might change later, I don't know).

So these might be some of the things that come into play. 

It's a bit weird to me as well to get things quickly as a beginner (this was my 9th trip total). I don't feel super legitimate to speak about my experiences at this point, but I think that I can still do it because I've done a lot of contemplation work and I can't get things completely wrong. That's also interesting for me to have feedbacks because then I have things to check or recheck. And it's also a way to face my biggest fear when I'm sober. Being here is a challenge.

[OBEler]

@Clarence Thanks for answering in detail. You have probably archieved the ideal mindset to do this work. 

Would be interesting to know how you would like 5 meo malt compared to 5 Meo dmt. On malt letting go is even more easier in my opinion because it is so smooth

[AerisVahnEphelia]

@OBEler  you don't need any psychedelics to awaken, in fact they don't exist at all, and what they do isn't anywhere.

you still don't realize that psychedelic is litteraly a game you're playing with yourself.

I've seen people extremly enlightened without any, and people deeply shallow who did a tons of them.

Psychedelic is one way to add a frame to the movie, but there might be nothing at all here.

[Clarence]

@OBEler

So far, I don't find it hard to let go on 5-MeO-DMT. I could have let go more to go deeper and/or in different directions, but the experience I was having was already very new and profound, and I let myself have it. Next time I'll do the experience of keeping letting go to see how far I can do so and how different the trip will be.

Maybe one thing I find hard on 5-MeO-DMT is that it hits so strongly so fast. I think I actually like that, but it is surprising at first. And also, as the difference between my body and Consciousness was collapsing, it physically hurt in my head. The level of pain was fluctuating, maybe like if it was the process of the body changing level of consciousness. It felt a bit like if my brain was not used to/initially made for so much consciousness. I don't know if that is a common experience on 5-MeO-DMT nor if it will just be this time for me, but I still feel like it hits hard on my body compared to other psychedelics and that is not so smooth.

Funny you say that. I've actually ordered 5-MeO-MALT first, but the waiting time was so long that I ordered 5-MeO-DMT a few days after and it arrived much quicker. So I'll soon be trying it! I'm also very curious to know how it will be like.

What about your experiences? You seem to be well familiar with them.

[OBEler]

@Clarence on 5 meo I unfortunately was not ready to take more than 10 mg so I tripped always low doses. Of around 30 low dose 5 meo dmt trips were many of them enjoying. One Hit  so unexpectably hard on just 3 mg which I cannot explain until today why this hitted so hard. Since then I have too much respect 

 

5 meo malt I have around 15 trips. I started low dose and raised the dose until I had my breakthrough. Started with 3 mg, ended with 25 mg. 

I learned that 5 meo malt is always the same if you dont have a breakthrough. It's just some merging experience of sensations  with very weak visuals of fractals. Its So subtle you dont even notice.the comeup gets easier with time until it was not recognizable as a comeup even more. After 10 minutes comeup was over, after 80 minutes the trip was mostly over. There is not a clear peak experience because it's so smooth. The ego stays full intact you dont have distorted thoughts even when the breakthrough happens you stay in your normal ego consciousness. Body is just total relaxed

Really, I was surprised how normal I felt in this Altered state of consciousness. It's too pure

Edited October 28, 2023 by OBEler

[Clarence]

@Leo Gura

On 27/10/2023 at 6:07 PM, Leo Gura said:

You guys love to get into parasocial relationship with me without being aware of it. So that's a trap to watch out for.

I've just looked up the definition of parasocial relationship. I thought I knew what it was, but I didn't. And I agree that that's something I'm guilty of, even though I've been aware of it. I know it is not something good, but somehow, it reassures me to know that there exists someone who loves things that I love too and who has reached very deep understandings of reality. I lack to see that around me and in a sense, I feel less alone knowing that you're there somewhere, even if I'm still alone and will always be. I still don't want to face that all the time, and I can't face the fact that I don't have anyone to talk to in my life about all this. Every time I've tried with people around me, it felt like a lost cause. They don't know what I'm talking about. I think I would not focus as much on you and on Actualized.org if this was more common worldwide and if I could talk about these things with people around me.

The shift of fully disconnecting will require a lot of acceptation. And I think that deepening my understanding of reality itself will help, because that's the reason why you interest me so much in the first place. But I still love being guided, because it accelerates my growth process.

On 27/10/2023 at 6:07 PM, Leo Gura said:

Just be careful with your projections about me. Your notion of me is probably more of a fantasy than it is the real me. So stay mindful of that.

It's actually very hard to distinguish between the fantasy and the real you. But this is something I find hard to do on anyone, including on myself. I feel like you can never fully know someone, and this obviously applies here. So I realize that I don't know you, but I still think I know parts of you. You've shared about yourself, directly or indirectly. You're not hiding completely who you are. What you write, what you share, the way you express yourself, all of that tells me something about you. All my interpretations might no be correct, but unless you are lying a lot, most of them are correct in my general way of reading people.

Still, I realize that you don't share everything. For a matter of time, a matter of privacy, a matter of relevance… Maybe there are very deep parts of you (and/or not that deep parts of you) that you've never talked about or that you've never let us see. I'm conscious that I don't know. I'm also conscious that people change and that I can't ever know for certain what is past and what is present. But I still think that there is a continuum which I can see or sense.

All of this knowing and not knowing come into the equation of my own perception of you. And I cannot not have a perception of you. I still try to keep it minimal and remind myself that I don't know. I still have projections because I like not feeling alone, but for the most part, I think I know what my projections are. And parasocial relationships are pretty tricky. But I'll save myself by saying that all relationships are tricky.

[Thought Art]

Is there a risk and over listening to Leo and not enough contemplation and creating a story in your mind about you and Leo. He doesn’t know you. 

[Leo Gura]

@Clarence You are me, but that doesn't mean you have access to my mind. Technically all you have of me is just some pixels on a screen and some ideas. None of you guys actually knows my inner workings, so be careful with all sorts of assumptions you make about me. Especially if you get the sense that I am talking to you personally. Remember, I don't know you. To me you're just some words on a screen. That's all I know of you. I don't have a personal relationship with you, as some of you like to imagine.

Edited October 29, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Marten98]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

To me you're just some words on a screen. That's all I know of you. I don't have a personal relationship with you, as some of you like to imagine.

That really hurt my feelings. I thought we had something going on here. Always knew you were an asshole..

[Clarence]

@Leo Gura Oh no, I didn't mean that. I know I don't have access to your mind and inner workings. That for me is pretty obvious, I don't even think about these things. Sometimes I vaguely wonder how your mind is working, like I also wonder how it would be like to be somebody else, but that's it. I know I don't have access to that and I don't build anything around it. Even in Awakenings I know that I don't have access to your mind.

I also know that you're not talking to me directly and that I don't have a personal relationship with you. But that is so obvious. I thought my last message was already saying that I was conscious of that too. I'm well aware that I'm just some words on your screens… I have discernment on all these things.

Edited October 29, 2023 by Clarence

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Marten98 said:

That really hurt my feelings. I thought we had something going on here. Always knew you were an asshole..

It's not me being an asshole, it's just the limited nature of this medium.

I'm just telling you guys to be beware of parasocial relationships. Look it up:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasocial_interaction

Edited October 29, 2023 by Leo Gura

[LSD-Rumi]

1 hour ago, Marten98 said:

That really hurt my feelings. I thought we had something going on here. Always knew you were an asshole..

Lol. I personally like The assholeness of Leo. He is just brutally honest and realistic, which is something I really appreciate.

[Leo Gura]

P.S. I do try to care about you guys. It's just that I am limited in that because there's thousands of you and it can be quite draining, and my knowledge of your lives is very limited.

Edited October 29, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Clarence]

That's sweet. And your limits are understandable.

Edited October 29, 2023 by Clarence

[Marten98]

6 hours ago, Marten98 said:

That really hurt my feelings. I thought we had something going on here. Always knew you were an asshole..

@Leo Gura I thought it was obvious that this was meant as a joke 😂 sorry for the confusion, love you man