What Would You Tell To Your 21-year-old Self?

[bazera]

Hey,

If you were able to speak to your 21-year-old self, what would you tell him/her? 

What advice would you give him/her?

I am asking this because I turned 21 a month ago, and am a bit confused about my priorities in life. One day I am depressed because I don't use all the possibilities that I have to be more social. Another day I am happy with who I am and I don't feel like having anything or being anyone else. Some other day I feel anxious because I don't feel like my lifestyle is good enough to have the kind life I want. And sometimes I don't even know what kind of life do I want.

So, your ideas could help me see other people's perspectives too. I know I have to deal with all my confusions by myself, but your ideas might help me become more aware of the things that I do which I should not be doing.

So yeah, what would you tell your younger self?

[Shin]

I would tell him to force himself to meditate 20 minutes per day for at least 3 months, and see if anything change in his life.

[Nahm]

@bazera I also would suggest meditation and to try out a variety of PD, spiritual and science sources, read books consistently. Expand his frame of reference so he doesn't wrestle with not knowing what he wants to do. 

20-23, in my opinion, are the toughest ages. The brain isn't fully developed until 24, but the world implies you're on the level with adults by and large by age 21. Not to mention, you're dealing with your potential. That's a lot to be dealing with. Life gets easier in my experience. 

 

 

Also, the ups & downs you mentioned are somewhat simply from your age but consider that carbs and sugar cause addiction highs and then 2-3 day withdrawal symptoms. Took me many years to accept that. I'd tell him that too.

[Soulbass]

Studies and work/job are secondary. All what matter is passion / follow your bliss.

If you have an intuition about something to do, it's probably the right thing.

Don't listen to parents, friends or anybody else. It's just you.

Invest 10,000 hours the sooner the better (see life-purpose course).

Also, keep a journal of your thoughts.

(I'm 26)

[bazera]

@Shin How would your life be different now, if you started 20-minute meditation practices each day from the age of 21?

 

Edited March 31, 2017 by bazera

[Nahm]

@bazera i actually did

[bazera]

@Nahm And did it have a huge impact on your life?

[Epiphany_Inspired]

The 21 year old you, the 21 year old all of us, likely has a pretty good idea of our Dharma....I would advise you to take the thing that you are most passionate about, and spend the majority of your time *enjoying* mastering that, savoring every present moment of that path...maybe it involves school, maybe it doesn't....giving up all socialization is silly...but at that age it's easy to allow it to take over, and you loose an entire decade, at least...

[bazera]

@Epiphany_Inspired Yes I agree, giving up socialization when you feel the need of it is silly.

My problem is that I get depressed when I have the possibility of being more social and don't use it.

I think when I get older and look back at myself as I currently am, one of the things that I will laugh at is my desire to be more social and all those hours that I spend thinking about the issue of myself not being enough, not being as good as I can be in social interactions, etc. 

But I guess this is just a phase, I have to look at this as a phase of my life, which will not be as important as it is today as time goes on. 

I hope so...

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@bazera Perhaps I was projecting because of the way you worded the question... socializing was often "partying" for me at that age...maybe you are meant to be a really social person, or it's part of your Dharma? Perhaps you could contemplate balancing social time, vs productive time instead of worries about your skill with social interactions? I don't know...but what I do know (with 80% truth),  is that today actually is the most important...not your imagined future self....and you don't need to *hope*, you create your own reality...you can *make*...

[eskwire]

@bazera "You will see every relationship for the next 10 years as a total waste of time when it's all over, so don't bother. Oh and meditate."

[Martin123]

4 minutes ago, John Flores said:

Probably nothing, because all is part of "the plan". But I would warn him of all the pitfalls and stumbling blocks that there are to avoid.

This. Although Im turning 22 in a month so not sure who im talking to ?

[bazera]

@Epiphany_Inspired Yup you are right, thanks 

[Lee]

I swear it seems like I was 21 in a blink of an eye, and the time has gone by. And now I'm turning 45 on Monday. Aaaaagggghhh. And I honestly feel that I wasted all the years in between through being a people pleaser not being authentic and truthful to myself being under ego lock down. I think each person has massive potential to achieve most things that they would set there hearts to. But Until you can unclouded your mind and fill it with a clear understanding of how the world works. How people work etc., then you will continue to ride roundabout of unfulfilment. So like has been mentioned above I would command my 21 year old self to meditate every day. To read and study correctly and build an impressive database. To relax and not let petty thing bother me. Not to judge people to harshly. Find my passion and follow it with a hunger to succeed. Try and surround yourself with likeminded people. And just enjoy the ride. Easy Peasy. Good luck.

[Guest Annetta]

I would tell myself, break up with the ex.
Stay in school.
Try to be more calm.
Eat healthier.
Don't smoke so much pot.
 

[Shin]

3 hours ago, bazera said:

@Shin How would your life be different now, if you started 20-minute meditation practices each day from the age of 21?

 

I would probably be living/be on track with my life purpose, would have slew most (if not all) my inner demons, and I would probably be enlightened already.

Edited April 1, 2017 by Shin

[99th_monkey]

"You are valuable, and...... stay off the internet..... just sayin'"

[electroBeam]

10 hours ago, bazera said:

@Epiphany_Inspired

I think when I get older and look back at myself as I currently am, one of the things that I will laugh at is my desire to be more social and all those hours that I spend thinking about the issue of myself not being enough, not being as good as I can be in social interactions, etc. 

.....Well, I've currently set myself a goal that i have to go to at least 1 party per week, because i have felt unsocial/autistic/nerdy in the past. I wonder how I should take that paragraph?

13 hours ago, Soulbass said:

Studies and work/job are secondary. All what matter is passion / follow your bliss.

If you have an intuition about something to do, it's probably the right thing.

Don't listen to parents, friends or anybody else. It's just you.

Woah... aren't you being a little radical? If you dont go to school it could fuck up your life forever. Same with work??

 

14 hours ago, Nahm said:

@bazera I also would suggest meditation and to try out a variety of PD, spiritual and science sources, read books consistently. Expand his frame of reference so he doesn't wrestle with not knowing what he wants to do. 

20-23, in my opinion, are the toughest ages. The brain isn't fully developed until 24, but the world implies you're on the level with adults by and large by age 21. Not to mention, you're dealing with your potential. That's a lot to be dealing with. Life gets easier in my experience. 

 

 

Also, the ups & downs you mentioned are somewhat simply from your age but consider that carbs and sugar cause addiction highs and then 2-3 day withdrawal symptoms. Took me many years to accept that. I'd tell him that too.

What types of PD were you referring to?

[bazera]

@electroBeam What I mean is after some years of socializing (parties, going to the events, etc) I might realize that this was not as much of a big deal as I made it to be. So years later, I might smile at myself as I currently am. Because right now I am lacking all that "socializing" experience and my mind constantly tells me not to miss opportunities. And when I miss them because of my anxiety or any other reason, I get depressed, more anxious etc. 

I will probably look at that mechanism of behaviour years later with a big smile on my face. Or maybe I won't.

That's what I meant.

[electroBeam]

@bazera we all die in the end anyway. We loose everything in the end. You didnt miss out on anything. Everyone goes back to the same state they came from.

If it happened, it was meant to be.