I struggle to be happy for other people

[Spiritual Warrior]

I struggle to be genuinely happy for other people's success. For example, my best friend just got married and the whole time when they were doing their dance, I was thinking about this other girl that I wanted to ask to dance or how I looked in other people's eyes. I couldn't focus on the happiness that the couple shared with each other. Another example is, this girl is getting a lot of dance lessons and is doing a great job. Meanwhile, I still haven't been given my first lesson, I find it very difficult to be happy for her because I am jealous of her success. 

I understand conceptually that other people's success is the same as my own, but it sure as hell doesn't feel that way. I am able to feel genuinely happy for other people sometimes but I usually need to be doing well myself. For example, if I am playing well in my basketball game, things are flowing, then I am capable of being genuinely happy for the success of the other players. However, if I am not playing well then I am like fuck everyone else, I only care about myself. 

I think this is shining a light on how selfish I truly am and how much growing I still need to do. Of course I shouldn't beat myself up, this is just where I'm at, there's nothing wrong with it. 

[SeaMonster]

It's all about how you handle the feelings.  They can motivate you to grow and improve, or you can just get caught up in the negativity.  The feelings themselves aren't wrong.

[RickyFitts]

No sense in trying to force yourself to feel a certain way, far better to simply acknowledge how you actually are feeling and then sit with what you're feeling and feel into it - there's often a lot going on underneath the surface feeling of, say, jealousy or depression, but we tend to get caught on that surface level. See if you can feel what's going on at a deeper, more vulnerable level, and allow those deeper feelings to be felt, and expressed if necessary.