My life is nothing🌸🎥

[Sabth]

It feels like it is impossible to find love these days /nowadays . 

Idk. It just seems like love is easier when I was younger. When my mind was still not filled. I had a lot of love back then. But now, I'm way too experienced in life. The way that I no longer feel enjoyment going to the mall. Idk.

[Sabth]

But I wish I can shop here in Kuala Lumpur. 

[Sabth]

 

[Sabth]

Today my brother got married. I don't know. They are younger than me. 

Sometimes I feel like love is hopeless at this age. I no longer fall in love. It seems impossible for me to be in love. Or to like anyone. To be in a state of love. I am old. 

I can't imagine love being good at this age. I don't know. 

[Sabth]

I don't know.  Tomorrow we are already going back.  Today we go shopping and the beach. And we gathered for the last time. Tonight we are all here. In this space. Tomorrow we will be back. I don't know. I wanna shop in x. 

[Sabth]

I can't wait to go back . 

[Sabth]

I'm so tired rn. 10:33PM.

[Sabth]

I want to be a Taeyeon fan forever : 

If I have a camera I will go to her concert and take a hq pictures and videos of her. Just like back then. If only...

I'll follow her steps. Taeyeon. 

Last year I've missed her concert. In the future if she had more concerts I wanna be prepared for it. 

Especially if she sings older songs.. I'm gonna cry. 

UR

11:31PM

Edited February 18 by Sabth

[Sabth]

Savage

Pretty savage. 

[Sabth]

I'm so glad to be back home 😊.

After waiting and sitting and just be in a journey for a long time. So glad I'm finally back . 

I have bought things for running and hiking. Maybe soon, I'll do it. 

And then I bought some souvenirs home. I wish I can shop longer. And more. And bring back home more. 

Edited February 19 by Sabth

[Sabth]

Bubblegum pink. 

[Sabth]

I want to hike Mount Kinabalu and Mount Sinai. 🏞️

[Sabth]

I wanna buy vibrant colours for my sports wear but there's only earth colours .  

This shop is so boring. 

Edited February 20 by Sabth

[Sabth]

I think I should stop wasting my time. I am still doing nothing. And achieving nothing. Idk. 

[Sabth]

I don't know with whom to go hiking with. And I don't have enough money yet to go hike. And I'm not physically fit yet. 

[Sabth]

 

 

[Sabth]

My father is old already. He will be sixty this year. 

[Sabth]

What a weird dream. 2:11AM

It was like a survival show. Or something like the squid game. People are killing each other. Slashing each others arms. Idk. It was brutal. There was a lot of running. Idk. 

It has to do with race. I remember there was a black man hiding within trees. Up onto a trees. Like a lion. It was night. To have a safe space. And then there was a flood. And dxxxxxg. There was also txxxxxn. And an art show. I don't know. Everybody was in it. It was a survival show. People getting mad over each other. I don't know. And there was art files . And my aunt. And at the end of the dream I was in a wheelchair. And there was my mom. Who said "she wanna go to the room" which I ended up going to when the dreams end. Idk. It was a survival show. Made me feel like my current mode/state now. Am I like the disabled? Not being able to go anywhere? Like the people on a wheelchair? I am immobiled.

 

2:27AM People are literally slashing each others arms. 

Idk. 

And then I fall into a drain and no one was helping me. Then I went to my mom's room. 

This dream are really brutal. People are killing each other. Hunting each other. Eh

[Sabth]

🌌☁️☁️☁️🌨️

[Sabth]

I saw my father's brother today. And I don't know. I've never met them. They are already old. I don't know. I feel bad about it. We never met. They are my uncles. But I never met them. Only one. And they are old. They are my father's younger bro. Idk we're family. They are like my dad.