Seems impossible to connect with women....am I the only one?

[Javfly33]

It seems with women either you go full authentic, as a normal human (with its chunks of insecurities and vulnerability, with no power play shitty games...etc ), you will enjoy yourself and feel relaxed and one with her, but she won't feel shit for you. 

And in the other hand, if you 'build a wall' to your heart and play the masculine leadership no-self conscious vibe, she will respond so good to it, yet inside you feel DEAD, because no real connection, you just become a perfect Rock for her to lean on you, but of course not real Love, where is the you that really wanted the unconditional love? Nowhere. You just put it behind that super confident masculine rock she so much wants.

There doesn't seem a scenario where BOTH are in the same harmonic vibration. Is always power games. It seems always to be this subtle game of Is either I win and you don't, or you win and I don't.

Disgusting. Where is the Love?

Either you connect by being vulnerable but she won't see you as that high value man, or you disconnect yourself and become a Rock and she gets attracted but she is not getting attracted to really YOU, but to the survival high masculine value you are providing. Inside you are dead, no real connection.

As always, this seems to be verify what I already suspected through the last years: Love can not be found in a relationship with other person, only with God, only with reality. Seeking in creating it with another human will leave to dissappointment.

Edited October 24, 2023 by Javfly33

[Someone here]

A lot to unpack here..but few points that came to mind :

1-you don't have to act macho to attract women ..you can actually become macho . No games .no "fake it till you make it " kinda deal. So before starting dating ..you should work really hard to become a "real man ". Because women simply need that from the man ..she needs to feel that she is being safe in the hands of a masculine man who can protect her .this goes to how we are wired by evolution through thousands  of years .

2-if you can't fall in love with a person..how can you fall In love with reality /God/whatever nonsense that is lol. ?

If you can't love your children..how do you expect to love other's children and let alone all  children in the world?  

[Merkabah Star]

The right one will come along at the right time. There are lots of duds out there. 😀

 

[itsadistraction]

5 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

It seems with women either you go full authentic, as a normal human (with its chunks of insecurities and vulnerability, with no power play shitty games...etc ), you will enjoy yourself and feel relaxed and one with her, but she won't feel shit for you. 

And in the other hand, if you 'build a wall' to your heart and play the masculine leadership no-self conscious vibe, she will respond so good to it, yet inside you feel DEAD, because no real connection, you just become a perfect Rock for her to lean on you, but of course not real Love, where is the you that really wanted the unconditional love? Nowhere. You just put it behind that super confident masculine rock she so much wants.

There doesn't seem a scenario where BOTH are in the same harmonic vibration. Is always power games. It seems always to be this subtle game of Is either I win and you don't, or you win and I don't.

Disgusting. Where is the Love?

Either you connect by being vulnerable but she won't see you as that high value man, or you disconnect yourself and become a Rock and she gets attracted but she is not getting attracted to really YOU, but to the survival high masculine value you are providing. Inside you are dead, no real connection.

As always, this seems to be verify what I already suspected through the last years: Love can not be found in a relationship with other person, only with God, only with reality. Seeking in creating it with another human will leave to dissappointment.

Maybe "perfect" intimate deep connections are an ideal that you will never live up to. Maybe having a relationship is more like having a job. It's a completely necessary part of human survival with some parts you like (hopefully) other parts you don't like. Furthermore you have to work really hard to get what you want and the perfect job or woman doesn't just fall in your lap. 

Edited October 24, 2023 by itsadistraction

[Yimpa]

I have trouble connecting with women as well. This is something I’m actively working on. Developing more manipulative techniques to seduce them works in the short-term. The long-term solution is understanding why I resist the love they give to me in the first place. 

[Princess Arabia]

4 hours ago, Yimpa said:

I have trouble connecting with women as well. This is something I’m actively working on. Developing more manipulative techniques to seduce them works in the short-term. The long-term solution is understanding why I resist the love they give to me in the first place. 

What happened? You broke up with your new-found lovey. Stop saying you are working on something, you are creating a Reality that you are working on something, that something you are working on is NOW, HERE PRESENT. I don't mean like a project or an assignment or something like that. Self improvement is also just a hobby, experience and something to do. Come from a place of wholeness and work backwards. I'm not saying not go to therapy, work on yourself or seek anything, understand that you are already perfect and everything else is secondary.

Edited October 24, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Yimpa]

8 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

What happened? You broke up with your new-found lovey.

More than that - I realize that they are an aspect of myself that I choose to let go of. By doing so, I can deepen my capacity to love even further.

[Fountainbleu]

On 10/24/2023 at 3:30 AM, Javfly33 said:

It seems with women either you go full authentic, as a normal human (with its chunks of insecurities and vulnerability, with no power play shitty games...etc ), you will enjoy yourself and feel relaxed and one with her, but she won't feel shit for you. 

And in the other hand, if you 'build a wall' to your heart and play the masculine leadership no-self conscious vibe, she will respond so good to it, yet inside you feel DEAD, because no real connection, you just become a perfect Rock for her to lean on you, but of course not real Love, where is the you that really wanted the unconditional love? Nowhere. You just put it behind that super confident masculine rock she so much wants.

There doesn't seem a scenario where BOTH are in the same harmonic vibration. Is always power games. It seems always to be this subtle game of Is either I win and you don't, or you win and I don't.

Disgusting. Where is the Love?

Either you connect by being vulnerable but she won't see you as that high value man, or you disconnect yourself and become a Rock and she gets attracted but she is not getting attracted to really YOU, but to the survival high masculine value you are providing. Inside you are dead, no real connection.

As always, this seems to be verify what I already suspected through the last years: Love can not be found in a relationship with other person, only with God, only with reality. Seeking in creating it with another human will leave to dissappointment.

You know what's helped me a lot with this? Learning tantra. In the past year the 2 sexual experiences I've had was after doing a tantra workshop. I felt so connected, with myself and others, after the workshop both times I connected with some beautiful women and both times had some beautiful experiences. I'm thinking of getting more into it. I originally stopped because it activated my kundalini hardcore. When I smoked cannabis I'd be shaking because the energy was so intense. 

[Yimpa]

I recently connected with a trans woman. She is amazing; so far I feel connected to her. We’ll see how or where it goes.