Necessity for change

[StarStruck]

I only change when I’m with my back against the wall. I just don’t give a fuck until it matters. Is there a way around this? Because it is a pity that I only change when I must. I’ve tried accountability partners and all kinds of punishment but it doesn’t work. 

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

I only change when I’m with my back against the wall. I just don’t give a fuck until it matters. Is there a way around this? Because it is a pity that I only change when I must. I’ve tried accountability partners and all kinds of punishment but it doesn’t work. 

This happens to the best of us in all walks of life; so you're not alone on this. Maybe the only part of my life where I don't wait for my back to be against the wall is when it comes to my health. I'm more proactive on that and like to take preventative measures. The thing i look at when it comes to that is, I don't want to have to go to the doctor's, I don't like to be in physical pain, I don't like pharmaceuticals and will try my best to abstain from them, and I like to feel good and look healthy. When I fuck up on my eating habits and veer off too much, I can feel it and it doesn't feel good.

That said, there are incentives. Pay-offs. Also, awareness. I try not to focus on the downsides to what may happen if I don't do so and so, I look at the benefits of so and so. I mentioned the 'what may happen if I don't eat healthy" above, but I try not to focus on that. I focus more on the benefits of eating healthy. 

You can probably do this with just about anything personal you'd like to achieve, just replace the "health" aspect with whatever you want. Fear can also be used as a good motivator too, as long as it's not being used irrationally like going to rob a bank for fear of going broke. Lol. A bit extreme, but you get the drift. Self-Love is the biggest factor of them all, but that has become so cliché and not practical to give as advice on a general scoop because it's so obvious and not well understood by a mind that isn't even aware of how to do this.

Hope this helps, if even a little bit.

[StarStruck]

@Princess Arabia great insights. Your story reminded me what I read in a book. When we are in survival mode , we aren’t in creative mode because survival (fear) shuts of the higher functions of our brain and we start to think short-term. The key is to get out of this survival mode so we can access our potential in creative mode and really thrive instead of just surviving. There are some special meditations for this. I’m going to do them daily from now on. 

[Princess Arabia]

7 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

@Princess Arabia great insights. Your story reminded me what I read in a book. When we are in survival mode , we aren’t in creative mode because survival (fear) shuts of the higher functions of our brain and we start to think short-term. The key is to get out of this survival mode so we can access our potential in creative mode and really thrive instead of just surviving. There are some special meditations for this. I’m going to do them daily from now on. 

Great. You are so correct about the survival part and I've watched Leo's 2 or 3 part series on survival and it has helped me to see through this part of life. I think the key to changing for good is to change our IDENTITY, and our thoughts beliefs and actions will follow suit to align with that identity, because I do identify as a healthy person who doesn't get sick and that the body will heal itself when given the right conditions and I've been able to accomplish that even when I do get some minor illnesses like colds and flus. Wish you the best in this endeavor.

[itsadistraction]

4 hours ago, StarStruck said:

I only change when I’m with my back against the wall. I just don’t give a fuck until it matters. Is there a way around this? Because it is a pity that I only change when I must. 

You only need to change if you are unhappy. So if you aren't happy then you MUST change simple as that. Happiness is the point of life. 

 

4 hours ago, StarStruck said:

 I’ve tried accountability partners and all kinds of punishment but it doesn’t work. 

No kidding these don't work, this is stage red/stage blue level thinking. You catch more flies with honey than vinager

[gettoefl]

person won't change until the pain of not changing is greater than the pain of changing

give up this storm ravaged person and develop some purpose

daily purpose, yearly purpose, life purpose

write them down

i define purpose as

the things i do in life where nobody or nothing stops me

Edited October 24, 2023 by gettoefl