How to become a "real man "?

[strika]

On 23. 10. 2023. at 9:44 AM, Someone here said:

First of all I really hope that we will start a good conversation here that maybe will help others too.

Second of all ..I do have some gay sexual desires .(like being banged in my butthole ) Idk if you guys consider this as emasculation but I consider it normal .

It's important to distinguish here that this Is not a problem with my sexuality ..it's a problem with my personality.

Ok..so I will start by saying that I do not feel like being a real man. I am a sensitive guy that gets uncomfortable when someone is angry on him or even raises their voice at him. I am also sensitive towards harsh people and also I fell many times like running away from conflict .

I am tired of being this way..because I am seeing examples of men around me .and even as a kid I was looking at those men and really felt that I was in the presence of a man..you could feel that he had authority. And now that I am 26 years old  I should become a man.

But the problem is that unlike solving a math problem or creating a website or getting shredded I don't know what formula should I apply for this.

What are the things I could do to become a real man? Should I join the military even if I don't want to become a soldier but because they yell at you and put you in difficult situations maybe this would mold me into becoming a real man? Should I move out of my parents house even if it is not the right choice to do because I am still a student and I am living with my parents because college is in my home town so why would I pay for rent if I can save money living with them? 

 

Besides following my dream ..going to the gym and have a hobby or opening a buisniess (or at least try) I don't know what to do. I wish there was an exercise that I could do so I could deal with life's tough situations .

I was sensible even in childhood.. and parents tried to speak nice to me so I don't cry that much and I was also a shy obedient kid and also I was my only parents child so they took care of me much more than maybe parents are taking care of other kids when they more than 1. This latter was also pointed out when for example I was at a meal with my family and some family friends who hold me and my parents a long discourse about the fact that they should let me be more independent ( and this all started from the fact that my dad took a boiled egg to boil it for me instead of letting me to it). Also I had a girlfriend who was more independent than me ( she moved to another country and worked there) and she also pointed out stuff.

Now here is my last point. You know.. it is not about just doing this to get girls or get a wife..I want to be a man because I have to be a man. I am tired of being just a boy ..a lil' boy. I want to change because I don't want to be that dad or that husband that runs away when there are difficult times ..i don't want to be a coward.

If you have also experiences that you have been trough that made you become a man let me know!

And more importantly..what exactly is a real fucking man ?

Thanks. 🙏

Just do brahmacharya and you'll be good (doesn't have to be for a lifetime of course), that's the only way to become a real man really, everything else is good too, all the other techniques and tricks are nice and i add them to my lifestyle as well but they are additional, they don't change the core itself, only brahmacharya does.

[Ramanujan]

@Someone here bro , i got fucked up . how will i escape it ?  . i am 27 years without college degree and i am age over for degree . having no degree in India will cause a living nightmare .

[Spiral]

Masculinity is all about doing rather than being. So do, be proactive.

[TheGod]

On 10/23/2023 at 1:44 AM, Someone here said:

..what exactly is a real fucking man ?

A "real fucking man" is a concept. There's no universal definition of what a "real man" is. If you go around asking people what a real man is they will fill your head with nonsense they've been indoctrinated by society and so-called authority figures. Do not listen to anyone. Real man is an authentic man. Nothing more and nothing less. 

If you are a sensitive guy try to embrace and develop these qualities. Don't try to make yourself into someone you're not. Follow your intuition and think independently. Don't ask other people what is a real man, you're the one who has to define it. 

And of course self-love and self-acceptance are crucial here. A lot of so-called  real men just have a façade of a real man.

[Adrian colby]

10 minutes ago, TheGod said:

A "real fucking man" is a concept. There's no universal definition of what a "real man" is. If you go around asking people what a real man is they will fill your head with nonsense they've been indoctrinated by society and so-called authority figures. Do not listen to anyone. Real man is an authentic man. Nothing more and nothing less. 

If you are a sensitive guy try to embrace and develop these qualities. Don't try to make yourself into someone you're not. Follow your intuition and think independently. Don't ask other people what is a real man, you're the one who has to define it. 

And of course self-love and self-acceptance are crucial here. A lot of so-called  real men just have a façade of a real man.

I agree. 
when I stopped trying to conform to the societal expectations of what a man is supposed to be and just started being myself with confidence, my wife said I was more of a man then anyone she’d been with in the past. To be honest I don’t think it’s the being a man rather it was just being an authentic conscious experience without trying to ‘pigeon hole’ it into a rigid label. If I have ever done anything to ‘try’ to conform to the societal standards of what a man is, It has been toxic and detrimental to my experience. 

[TheGod]

9 minutes ago, Adrian colby said:

just being an authentic conscious experience

100% 

[UnbornTao]

First we should define what being a man/masculine is like. 

[TheGod]

8 hours ago, UnbornTao said:

First we should define what being a man/masculine is like. 

Well, who's authority will we use for that haha 

[UnbornTao]

On 06/11/2023 at 0:15 AM, TheGod said:

Well, who's authority will we use for that haha 

Depends on which image we come up with for what a man should be and act like.

Choosing appropriate role models may be a good first step. Who do you consider to be manly? Why? Which qualities do we find masculine?

Masculinity can be broadly defined. Certainly there are gentle, sensitive men that are masculine. Other qualities that come up are braveness, groundedness, maturity, authenticity, confidence, integrity, openness, expanded sense of self.

Edited December 9, 2023 by UnbornTao

[Yimpa]

The definition of a man and woman will forever be changing as long as humans are around. 

Consider: asking what a real man is to a religious conservative will be very different from asking an LGBT progressive.

So, really, you’re chasing your tail if you’re seeking a definitive answer from societal standards. Best to discover it within yourself and distance yourself from groupthink. 

[MuadDib]

 

[Yimpa]

I’m biased; I have to say that becoming a real man is a bunch of baloney. I didn’t realize I suffered from gender dysphoria for decades. I’m planning on starting HRT soon. (I’m assigned male at birth, but I identify as nonbinary and genderfluid).

[ivankiss]

Listen to metal. 

Only pussies don't like metal. Don't be a pussy. Be a man.

 

[Jannes]

I think you should look inward which qualities of yourself you havent developed yet. You need to face your insecurities. What will uncover will be your manhood. 

Just like you can't become happy you can only be happy. You can't become confident you can only be confident. You can't become a men you can only be a men. You need to realize that these qualities are already in you.

[Schizophonia]

Someone who has a penis and let's say at least 500nd/dl of testosterone 🤓

[Schizophonia]

On 27/10/2023 at 0:58 PM, Spiral said:

Masculinity is all about doing rather than being. So do, be proactive.

Certainly not.
 

 

[Schizophonia]

On 03/12/2023 at 5:56 AM, Yimpa said:

I’m biased; I have to say that becoming a real man is a bunch of baloney. I didn’t realize I suffered from gender dysphoria for decades. I’m planning on starting HRT soon. (I’m assigned male at birth, but I identify as nonbinary and genderfluid).

What do you plan to inoculate yourself with? 
 

Many transgender people gorge themselves on estradiol and end up having that typical hysterical, combative mood. It needs to be balanced by progesterone and probably DHEA to compensate for the absence of LH.

 

Also why not go on the androgenic side? As with many DHT creams 🤔

Edited December 9, 2023 by Schizophonia

[Yimpa]

@Schizophonia I’ll be transferring to a therapist who specializes with patients who are nonbinary and trans, and my HRT starts in 6 months. So I have plenty of time to process and access all my options until then.

[Tboy]

On 23/10/2023 at 8:44 AM, Someone here said:

First of all I really hope that we will start a good conversation here that maybe will help others too.

Second of all ..I do have some gay sexual desires .(like being banged in my butthole ) Idk if you guys consider this as emasculation but I consider it normal .

It's important to distinguish here that this Is not a problem with my sexuality ..it's a problem with my personality.

Ok..so I will start by saying that I do not feel like being a real man. I am a sensitive guy that gets uncomfortable when someone is angry on him or even raises their voice at him. I am also sensitive towards harsh people and also I fell many times like running away from conflict .

I am tired of being this way..because I am seeing examples of men around me .and even as a kid I was looking at those men and really felt that I was in the presence of a man..you could feel that he had authority. And now that I am 26 years old  I should become a man.

But the problem is that unlike solving a math problem or creating a website or getting shredded I don't know what formula should I apply for this.

What are the things I could do to become a real man? Should I join the military even if I don't want to become a soldier but because they yell at you and put you in difficult situations maybe this would mold me into becoming a real man? Should I move out of my parents house even if it is not the right choice to do because I am still a student and I am living with my parents because college is in my home town so why would I pay for rent if I can save money living with them? 

 

Besides following my dream ..going to the gym and have a hobby or opening a buisniess (or at least try) I don't know what to do. I wish there was an exercise that I could do so I could deal with life's tough situations .

I was sensible even in childhood.. and parents tried to speak nice to me so I don't cry that much and I was also a shy obedient kid and also I was my only parents child so they took care of me much more than maybe parents are taking care of other kids when they more than 1. This latter was also pointed out when for example I was at a meal with my family and some family friends who hold me and my parents a long discourse about the fact that they should let me be more independent ( and this all started from the fact that my dad took a boiled egg to boil it for me instead of letting me to it). Also I had a girlfriend who was more independent than me ( she moved to another country and worked there) and she also pointed out stuff.

Now here is my last point. You know.. it is not about just doing this to get girls or get a wife..I want to be a man because I have to be a man. I am tired of being just a boy ..a lil' boy. I want to change because I don't want to be that dad or that husband that runs away when there are difficult times ..i don't want to be a coward.

If you have also experiences that you have been trough that made you become a man let me know!

And more importantly..what exactly is a real fucking man ?

Thanks. 🙏

My view is that you should start taking responsibility like Mr engineer said - what do you want out of life? And notice that it is up to YOU to figure that out, no one else, not your parents or anyone else. Look for your purpose in life (would recommend doing the life purpose course). What you lack above all however, is self-love - What's helped me a looot with this is doing Leo's satisfaction meditation - it's amazing, you should watch the video The Root Solution to People Pleasing and Lonliness first though but you should also look for any deep traumas you might have and work to heal those, this will also allow for much greater self-love. Self-love will give you the confidence you need to express your masculinity, you will no longer fear doing that.