How to become a "real man "?

[Someone here]

First of all I really hope that we will start a good conversation here that maybe will help others too.

Second of all ..I do have some gay sexual desires .(like being banged in my butthole ) Idk if you guys consider this as emasculation but I consider it normal .

It's important to distinguish here that this Is not a problem with my sexuality ..it's a problem with my personality.

Ok..so I will start by saying that I do not feel like being a real man. I am a sensitive guy that gets uncomfortable when someone is angry on him or even raises their voice at him. I am also sensitive towards harsh people and also I fell many times like running away from conflict .

I am tired of being this way..because I am seeing examples of men around me .and even as a kid I was looking at those men and really felt that I was in the presence of a man..you could feel that he had authority. And now that I am 26 years old  I should become a man.

But the problem is that unlike solving a math problem or creating a website or getting shredded I don't know what formula should I apply for this.

What are the things I could do to become a real man? Should I join the military even if I don't want to become a soldier but because they yell at you and put you in difficult situations maybe this would mold me into becoming a real man? Should I move out of my parents house even if it is not the right choice to do because I am still a student and I am living with my parents because college is in my home town so why would I pay for rent if I can save money living with them? 

 

Besides following my dream ..going to the gym and have a hobby or opening a buisniess (or at least try) I don't know what to do. I wish there was an exercise that I could do so I could deal with life's tough situations .

I was sensible even in childhood.. and parents tried to speak nice to me so I don't cry that much and I was also a shy obedient kid and also I was my only parents child so they took care of me much more than maybe parents are taking care of other kids when they more than 1. This latter was also pointed out when for example I was at a meal with my family and some family friends who hold me and my parents a long discourse about the fact that they should let me be more independent ( and this all started from the fact that my dad took a boiled egg to boil it for me instead of letting me to it). Also I had a girlfriend who was more independent than me ( she moved to another country and worked there) and she also pointed out stuff.

Now here is my last point. You know.. it is not about just doing this to get girls or get a wife..I want to be a man because I have to be a man. I am tired of being just a boy ..a lil' boy. I want to change because I don't want to be that dad or that husband that runs away when there are difficult times ..i don't want to be a coward.

If you have also experiences that you have been trough that made you become a man let me know!

And more importantly..what exactly is a real fucking man ?

Thanks. 🙏

[mr_engineer]

You need to reclaim your male aggression. 

If you're not being aggressive, your life probably isn't going well. You're probably procrastinating on important tasks. 

So, what you have to do is to make a to-do list and get it all done. And when you reap the rewards of it, recognize that these are the results of your efforts. That's 'taking responsibility'. Not having some 'accountability partner' berate you for where you are in life and tell you that it's your fault. 

Then, you can challenge yourself to take on bigger and bigger challenges. 

[Someone here]

28 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

You need to reclaim your male aggression. 

If you're not being aggressive, your life probably isn't going well. You're probably procrastinating on important tasks. 

That's correct. I have tons of study for college to do but instead I'm wasting my time playing video games. 

29 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

So, what you have to do is to make a to-do list and get it all done. And when you reap the rewards of it, recognize that these are the results of your efforts. That's 'taking responsibility'. Not having some 'accountability partner' berate you for where you are in life and tell you that it's your fault. 

But what does making and achieving a to-do list have to do with being a man? I mean it's definitely a good productive thing but I don't see the connection. 

[mr_engineer]

2 minutes ago, Someone here said:

But what does making and achieving a to-do list have to do with being a man? I mean it's definitely a good productive thing but I don't see the connection. 

It's less comfortable, it's less pleasurable. But, when you do that, what you're doing is you're not chasing immediate pleasure/comfort like a boy, you're 'manning up' to your life-situation, you're facing reality and you're doing something about it, you're not passive to it. 

You're being less of an emotionally reactive actor and you're being more of a rational and logical actor, you're being more stoic and centered in a potentially chaotic/unstable situation. This is step 1 to becoming a leader, essentially. It's the #1 quality you need to be a leader. 

[Someone here]

15 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

It's less comfortable, it's less pleasurable. But, when you do that, what you're doing is you're not chasing immediate pleasure/comfort like a boy, you're 'manning up' to your life-situation, you're facing reality and you're doing something about it, you're not passive to it. 

You're being less of an emotionally reactive actor and you're being more of a rational and logical actor, you're being more stoic and centered in a potentially chaotic/unstable situation. This is step 1 to becoming a leader, essentially. It's the #1 quality you need to be a leader. 

One of the things that often is mentioned is that men are supposed to be Stoic. So I gotta expose myself to tough situations purposely ..like fighting with boys ..owning a gun etc .?

[mr_engineer]

12 minutes ago, Someone here said:

One of the things that often is mentioned is that men are supposed to be Stoic. So I gotta expose myself to tough situations purposely ..like fighting with boys ..owning a gun etc .?

No, that's way too tough. Just start by working a shitty job 12 hours/day without complaining about how hard your life is. It's not technically 'unsafe', it's just hard. If you can do this, you can do anything. 

[Someone here]

17 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

No, that's way too tough. Just start by working a shitty job 12 hours/day without complaining about how hard your life is. It's not technically 'unsafe', it's just hard. If you can do this, you can do anything. 

Thats the kicker  ..I can't do this. I will definitely lose my beans and go bananas if I had to work 12 h per day .  

I barely can accept going to class three times a week. 

I guess i need something to motivate me . But I see all my dreams far away which makes discouraged of doing anything like that. 

[Schizophonia]

DHT - 100mg per day every morning.

Make a cream with ethanol (unmodified!, like 96% vodka, basically) and isopropyl myristate.

[Someone here]

Just now, Schizophonia said:

DHT - 100mg per day every morning.

Make a cream with ethanol (unmodified!, like 96% vodka, basically) and isopropyl myristate.

I have no idea what any of that is.. . But it seems like something about hormones. 

I clearly said in OP it's not a sexual thingy..i do have a steel sack of balls between my legs . I swear I could get it up just by looking at a flower 🌼. 

I'm talking personality-wise .

[Schizophonia]

25 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Thats the kicker  ..I can't do this. I will definitely lose my beans and go bananas if I had to work 12 h per day .  

I barely can accept going to class three times a week. 

I guess i need something to motivate me . But I see all my dreams far away which makes discouraged of doing anything like that. 

If you have leaky intestines, you should not eat beans or unripe bananas.

Endotoxins that cross the blood-brain barrier will create brain inflammation and make you masochistic. Either indirectly through scrupulous tendencies (religious for example), or much more directly, through a high and shrill voice, fantasies of being fucked/dominated and anything that gives a feeling of self-destruction of identity.
 

Eat a fiber/starch free diet, with lots of saturated/monounsaturated fats, a good amount of sweet fruits/honey/sugar if you are afraid of lack of energy if you are adapted to carbohydrates.

 

Don't trust me, just try it for a week and see.

Edited October 23, 2023 by Schizophonia

[mr_engineer]

26 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Thats the kicker  ..I can't do this. I will definitely lose my beans and go bananas if I had to work 12 h per day .  

I barely can accept going to class three times a week. 

I guess i need something to motivate me . But I see all my dreams far away which makes discouraged of doing anything like that. 

Have you done it in the past? If yes, why did you stop? 

[Schizophonia]

5 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I have no idea what any of that is.. . But it seems like something about hormones. 

I clearly said in OP it's not a sexual thingy..i do have a steel sack of balls between my legs . I swear I could get it up just by looking at a flower 🌼. 

I'm talking personality-wise .

You may have large testicles and low testosterone levels, for example due to LH resistance. You can also have good testosterone levels, but be too low androgen, as is often the case with homosexuals (to a greater extent).

[Someone here]

3 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

If you have leaky intestines, you should not eat beans or unripe bananas.

Endotoxins that cross the blood-brain barrier will create brain inflammation and make you masochistic. Either indirectly through scrupulous tendencies (religious for example), or much more directly, through a high and shrill voice, fantasies of being fucked/dominated and anything that gives a feeling of self-destruction of identity.
 

Eat a fiber/starch free diet, with lots of saturated/monounsaturated fats, a good amount of sweet fruits/honey/sugar if you are afraid of lack of energy if you are adapted to carbohydrates.

 

Don't trust me, just try it for a week and see.

I don't think it has anything to do with diet either .

Sorry but why it's difficult to take you seriously?  Why do you have this quasi troll vibe ?

[Someone here]

10 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

Have you done it in the past? If yes, why did you stop? 

No I haven't. 

[mr_engineer]

@Someone here What do you study? 

[Someone here]

4 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

@Someone here What do you study? 

Business and marketing. 

[PurpleTree]

wanting to change is also part of the ego

it always compares and wants to be different, it’s never satisfied 

 

[mr_engineer]

10 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Business and marketing. 

How passionate are you about it? 

[Someone here]

7 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

wanting to change is also part of the ego

it always compares and wants to be different, it’s never satisfied 

 

That belongs to the spirituality section. 

Im looking for a practical advice .

7 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

How passionate are you about it? 

Zero.

[mr_engineer]

Just now, Someone here said:

Zero.

In that case, you need artistic/sporting/fitness endeavors outside of studying in which you do something that you enjoy. Don't make it consumption-oriented. (And yes, video-games are consumption-oriented, not artistic/sporting. They don't count). You do that, you will come across career-opportunities that interest you more. Then you can work 12 hours a day, cuz you want to. Not because you're a wage-slave.