It's Obvious/I'm Alone

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, SeaMonster said:

"Nobody tells me what to do!" LOL.

OK, honestly, I don't care -- be a child.  I can't care more about you than you care about yourself.

Why do you keep laughing at yourself. You see. It's just a fucking play and you're doing the playing and having fun with it. Gave up already? That's no fun. I want you to care, please care.

[at_anchor]

14 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

You are already free. If you weren't you couldn't be in shackles.

What a mindfuck : )

I don't know how to say it. 

If I was free, I'd sit in a car, drive to the airport, fly all the way to I don't know, somewhere better than here, get a job somewhere on a construction sight or something come back home to a great spouse and drink some wine of the Gods to die before I die. 

But I'm not free. 

Maybe what you are saying now will become apparent when in die in 50 years, but right now it doesn't make sense. I never picked this path, at least not conaciously. It was a mistake, an accident. 

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, at_anchor said:

What a mindfuck : )

I don't know how to say it. 

If I was free, I'd sit in a car, drive to the airport, fly all the way to I don't know, somewhere better than here, get a job somewhere on a construction sight or something come back home to a great spouse and drink some wine of the Gods to die before I die. 

But I'm not free. 

Maybe what you are saying now will become apparent when in die in 50 years, but right now it doesn't make sense. I never picked this path, at least not conaciously. It was a mistake, an accident. 

You just did all that. In your mind. With your imagination. You just went there, from here.

[AerisVahnEphelia]

46 minutes ago, Bazooka Jesus said:

@Princess Arabia

Just be careful to not conflate the relative with the absolute... this is a very easy trap to fall into while pursuing the spiritual path, and it's responsible for about 99 percent of the delusions which are so rampant on this forum.

nothing to be careful about, it's all dive

[Yimpa]

As the 69th post, just wanted to say that being alone ain’t so bad after all 

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

28 minutes ago, AerisVahnEphelia said:

nothing to be careful about, it's all dive

Sure, if you don't mind ending up in hell, then knock yourself out... throw all caution to the wind and see where it takes you.

Just remember that it's easy (albeit correct) to say "all is divine" when your life is running more or less smoothly. Once shit hits the fan and everything starts falling apart, chances are that you'll be singing a very different tune.

 

Edited October 21, 2023 by Bazooka Jesus

[Yimpa]

Just now, Bazooka Jesus said:

Just remember that it's easy to say "all is divine" when your life is running more or less smoothly. Once shit hits the fan and everything starts falling apart, chances are that you'll be singing a very different tune.

You’ll be very thankful after shit hits the fan for what lessons come out of it. 

Or you can be a victim and learn nothing at all.

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

1 minute ago, Yimpa said:

You’ll be very thankful after shit hits the fan for what lessons come out of it.

That may very well be the case, but that doesn't mean that you need to proactively seek out the biggest and dirtiest pool of shit in existence and dive head first into it.

Life knows better than you which lessons you need to learn at which time. No need to be smarter than God.

[Yimpa]

1 minute ago, Bazooka Jesus said:

That may very well be the case, but that doesn't mean that you need to proactively seek out the biggest and dirtiest pool of shit in existence and dive head first into it.

Life knows better than you which lessons you need to learn at which time. No need to be smarter than God.

Yes, I’ve learned some of the hardest lessons these past few weeks. I didn’t proactively seek to get my ass kicked, but life gave me exactly what I needed so that I can move towards the next stage of my development. 

[AerisVahnEphelia]

@Bazooka Jesus control is an illusion, every choices you'll ever make is already done.

[cetus]

@Princess Arabia What you experienced probably qualifies as an episode of depersonalization. I've been there and yes, it is scary stuff the first time you experience it.

But now that you've had your first taste of that why not use it to your advantage? What I'm saying is make friends with that feeling you experienced. I've been doing that for years now as part of my practice. Sitting here now typing these words I can feel that same feeling you felt coming over me. This is when it's prime time to meditate by just closing your eyes an letting that feeling sweep you away. It can open totally new doors in your perception that you may not have experienced before. And it is totally amazing to say the least. I'm not going to say what exactly happened. But I will say it was wonderful. And I'm so glad I did it. Some here may call it a "breakthrough" experience.

Edited October 21, 2023 by cetus

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

1 hour ago, AerisVahnEphelia said:

@Bazooka Jesus control is an illusion, every choices you'll ever make is already done.

From an absolute perspective, yes. From a relative perspective, you are the captain of your ship.

Both perspectives are equally valid, and it is not advisable to brush aside one in favor of the other.

[Princess Arabia]

20 minutes ago, cetus said:

@Princess Arabia What you experienced probably qualifies as an episode of depersonalization. I've been there and yes, it is scary stuff the first time you experience it.

But now that you've had your first taste of that why not use it to your advantage? What I'm saying is make friends with that feeling you experienced. I've been doing that for years now as part of my practice. Sitting here now typing these words I can feel that same feeling you felt coming over me. This is when it's prime time to meditate by just closing your eyes an letting that feeling sweep you away. It can open totally new doors in your perception that you may not have experienced before. And it is totally amazing to say the least. I'm not going to say what exactly happened. But I will say it was wonderful. And I'm so glad I did it. Some here may call it a "breakthrough" experience.

I understand what you're saying and I think you understand what it is I experienced. I was also identifying with those feelings. IT seems like I dropped all other identifications but held on to the feelings, which I was still and am identifying with or as, whatever the term is. I'm not going through a psychosis, as some may think, nor do I not see myself as separate, even though I know that's an illusion. It will take more than a little wine or a little weed to make that shift in consciousness. I know I felt something and when you said "open new doors in my perception that i may not have experienced before, I totally resonated with that. 

It's not like things aren't back to normal, but there's something I'm seeing, not with my regular eyes, that I can't compute nor explain.  Not even how I see myself or the world, nor the situations around me. It's all the same, just something there, that I can only sense but not with my normal senses. I'm not feeling euphoric nor ecstatic bliss, far from it. The best I can say is it is like something keeps whispering to me in a non-verbal way. Saying something that I can't interpret, or I am trying to interpret but can't. 

So yes, I'm just sitting with it and letting it unfold without interrupting or trying to figure out what it is. It seems like it is it's own guidance. Thank you.

[cetus]

29 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

 It seems like it is it's own guidance.

Yes! Trust in it!

Edited October 21, 2023 by cetus

[cetus]

Now you can fully appreciate how this work isn't for the faint of heart. But you have crossed a milestone in your journey and there is no turning back. Trust in the fact that there are higher levels of consciousness that are beckoning you to move onward. Trust is key.

Edited October 21, 2023 by cetus

[Princess Arabia]

17 minutes ago, cetus said:

Now you can fully appreciate how this work isn't for the faint of heart. But you have crossed a milestone in your journey and there is no turning back. Trust in the fact that there are higher levels of consciousness that are beckoning you to move onward. Trust is key.

❤️❤️

[Javfly33]

2 hours ago, Bazooka Jesus said:

From an absolute perspective, yes. From a relative perspective, you are the captain of your ship.

Both perspectives are equally valid, and it is not advisable to brush aside one in favor of the other.

23 hours ago, AerisVahnEphelia said:

 

@Bazooka Jesus Where you can find the absolute perspective and where you can find the relative perspective?

Is there a street where is it located? Does it have a phone number where I can call?

Maybe there is only one perspective (Reality, Life, this experience), and the mind calls it relative when it serves the ego?

Notice how well serves the ego to exist such a thing as a relative perspective, in order to this ego keep existing.

[tuku747]

 

20 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

@Bazooka Jesus Where you can find the absolute perspective and where you can find the relative perspective?

Is there a street where is it located? Does it have a phone number where I can call?

Maybe there is only one perspective (Reality, Life, this experience), and the mind calls it relative when it serves the ego?

Notice how well serves the ego to exist such a thing as a relative perspective, in order to this ego keep existing.

You may serve yourself AND serve other-selves simultaneously.

[SeaMonster]

22 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

I'm not going through a psychosis, as some may think, nor do I not see myself as separate, even though I know that's an illusion. It will take more than a little wine or a little weed to make that shift in consciousness. I know I felt something and when you said "open new doors in my perception that i may not have experienced before, I totally resonated with that. 

Depersonalization isn't psychosis, but it is a severe neurosis.

Here's the issue: it is not something to take lightly.  It is a response to powerful feelings of panic or anxiety that one can't handle, so the world and your sense of self turns strange.

It's quite different from nondual awakening.  They SOUND similar but are very different.

You may want to practice more grounding techniques rather than those causing you to dissociate like this (or whatever intoxicants cause it.)  You want to be more IN your body rather than OUT of it.

[Princess Arabia]

44 minutes ago, SeaMonster said:

Depersonalization isn't psychosis, but it is a severe neurosis.

Here's the issue: it is not something to take lightly.  It is a response to powerful feelings of panic or anxiety that one can't handle, so the world and your sense of self turns strange.

It's quite different from nondual awakening.  They SOUND similar but are very different.

You may want to practice more grounding techniques rather than those causing you to dissociate like this (or whatever intoxicants cause it.)  You want to be more IN your body rather than OUT of it.

Ok...thank you. I'm fine. I'm very calm and I eat fairly healthy and look at myself and the world in a relatively healthy manner. I get along with most people I meet and I don't engage in gossip nor do I have too many people around me to distract me. I almost always read, watch or listen to topics of importance and that I can learn something of substance from. I am not on any medication nor am I physically ill or sick and i don't consume the news, nor do i watch any movies that are too violent or disturbing. When I awake in the morning i put my hand on my heart, go within and I feel my presence, I listen to jazz music all day that is very soothing. My life is not very stressful and I live in the woods where there are not a lot of distractions and noise. Most days I feel fine and i may drink a bit of wine here and there when I go out.

I can list some of the things that I think are wrong in my life and would like to change but I you get the drift. So if I have severe neurosis then I don't know but I feel pretty good mentally and I consider myself a little more mentally stable than a lot of people I see and even on this forum. Experiences happen and I'm not disputing what you're saying. If I see a repeat in episodes or if it happens again, I will certainly take what you're saying into consideration. For now, I'll just remain as I am along with trying to stay present and enjoying my Spiritual journey, whatever that entails. Thank you for your support, though and, like I said, if I notice any disturbances I will certainly take the necessary steps to try to correct it.